HI everyone!! I new and glad to have found this board!!!

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by AmyHinNC, Apr 7, 2009.

  1. AmyHinNC

    AmyHinNC New Member

    My name is Amy. I am 32 years old. My husband is 38 and we have two children. Our oldest is a boy who is almost 13 and our daughter is 8.

    My daughter is the one with ODD. She was diagnosed right before her 7th birthday. She has had these "tantrums" since she was 9 months old. We put her in therapy last January and she seemed to do really well. husband and I read the book 1-2-3 Magic and followed it. The rules helped for a month or so and then we were back to square one.

    daughter has started becoming more and more violent since that time. Last Thursday, she got ds's baseball bat after me in the car and almost hit me in the head but my ds stopped her. She was mad because I wouldn't stop at the store and buy her some stickers.

    She frequently screams for 3 or 4 hours straight. Life with her is so exhausting. :sad-very: We have another appointment with the therapist tomorrow morning. I hope we can find some answers. I had her blood tested for all the regular things that could be wrong with her last week and everything was normal.

    My daughter acts just fine around everyone but husband, me, and ds.

    Any advice, help or anything you can give is greatly appreciated.
  2. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    Hello and Welcome!! I wouldn't put a lot of weight in that diagnosis (diagnosis). ODD rarely stands alone and I doubt if this is all that's going on with your daughter. First, I'd recommend reading The Explosive Child by Ross Greene. Then, I'd recommend getting neuropsychological testing done, privately, with a psychologist trained to do this. You can call a local teaching hospital or children's hospital or ask your pediatrician for a referral.

    How does she do in school- behavior and with academics? The school's evaluations are usually not thorough enough to nail down underlying problems, that is why I suggest private testing. Then, you might as well start asking around now to find a good therapist for your daughter and you and husband. Don't be shocked if you hear some of the professionals say or act like it's all your fault- that doesn't mean they are correct. The testing results should get to the root of the issues and should lead to an idea of a good treatment plan.

    There's a lot of wisdom here from others on the board. This is also a good place to ask questions like what to do when she's having a melt down over homework and stuff. The Watercooler is a good area to "talk" about other things and share a few laughs.

    Again, Welcome!
  3. helpangel

    helpangel Active Member

    Hi Amy I'm new here too, (stealing someone elses line) so glad you found us, sorry you needed to. (I'll have to go back and find who said that so I can start giving credit where it is due) I'm sure several people are going to recommend that you get a neuro psychiatric exam done, and even though it takes some time and is a bit of a PITA the knowledge gained is well worth the effort. I've found the methods in the Explosive Child by R. Greene to be much more effective then the 123 method, you might want to read it to get some help while searching for answers. I don't think I've ever met a kid who had ODD diagnosis without there being some other underlying problem so I wouldn't get too attached to that diagnosis. (Like anyone would get attached to a diagnosis - this is a lame attempt at humor) Another piece of advise try to keep your sense of humor, it makes this stuff a lot easier to handle.
  4. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not

    Just wanted to say hello and welcome!

    Glad you found us!....sorry you "had" to.

  5. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Hi and welcome. I agree that ODD Doesn't stand alone. The trick is finding out what is causing the defiance and a therapist, if that is who diagnosed her, is not usually a very good or thorough diagnostician. Ditto for pediatricians and school evaluators. Has your child ever had a complete evaluation by, say a NeuroPsychologist? Who gave the ODD diagnosis?

    How was this child's early development and how does she socialize with her same-age peers? Any quirks? Are there any mood disorders or substance abuse on either side of her genetic family tree?
  6. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Hi Amy, nice to meet you.
    Here's some tea and a soft pillow. :)

    So sorry about your daughter.
    I am echoing MWM in wondering if there was anything diff about your daughter when she was a baby ... sensory issues with-sound, taste, light, touch? Likes to be squeezed really hard or hates to be touched at all?
    Did 1-2-3 work only for a short time because you shortened the time you gave her warnings to do things? IOW, does she need more time to transition?
    Is she better with-written instructions or verbal commands?

    I remember all the days of testing. It turned out that my difficult child is lactose intolerant, has a major league gluten sensitivity, is allergic to red dye (but that has calmed down a bit), has glaucoma, has low blood sugar, and a host of other things. Some of the tests helped us, but some were very confusing. He was anemic for a while, which led us to have him tested for celiac's disease, and we gave him iron supplements, but now that we've cut most of the wheat out of his diet, he is absorbing more vitamins and doesn't need the supplements any more.

    Good luck! Let us know how it goes.
  7. Fran

    Fran Former desparate mom

    Hello and welcome. Everyone asked some of the questions I would have but I did want to say hello and hope we can share some of our experiences.
  8. Stella

    Stella New Member

    Hi and welcome to the site you have found a wonderful place with a lot of wisdom and support! It is encouraging that therapy worked well for her in the past as hopefully it will work in the future. You need to get to the bottom of things though and find out what's going on with her so it would be great if you could get an appointment with a Neuro-psychologist while continuing therapy in the mean-time.

    Defintely read the Explosive Child as already recommend to you - I think you will find this a great help in managing her behaviour.

    I know how exhausting it is but you have now started on the road to finding answers and treatment so this is a very positive thing. This great people on this board will be here for you along your journey.

  9. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member


    Scary stuff with the baseball bat. Thank goodness your son was in the car. Make sure nothing is left in the car that can be used to harm anyone.