Wow, I have found a home. That's how I feel. I have 2 boys. My 17 year old has physical disabilities (Spina Bifida, hydrocephalus, paralysis in his lower legs, bowel/bladder incontinence...) and Depression and ODD. He's been in an acute mental hospital for about a week each, twice. Also had a 2-day respite stay in a crisis shelter once. We've had family-centered intensive in-home counseling since last Oct. He's been on anti-depressants since last June. Switched from Prozac to Zoloft in Dec./Jan. The don't seem to help. Just added Seroquel a week ago, after trying Risperdal and Klonopin. The Seroquel seems to be helping A LOT!!! He's like a brand new person. He even showered today. He has a misdemeanor conviction for a concealed weapon at school from last fall. About a month ago I called the cops when I found him with pot at the park, so he has a court date for that coming up. Then, 2 days later, he was picked up for shoplifting. That charge has been elevated due to his prior conviction. The day of the hearing to see if he would get the shoplifting charge elevated or not, he wasn't going to go to court. He was lying on the couch - where he is not supposed to sleep because he does not do his self-care for his bladder and his diaper is insufficient to hold all his urine so he pees on the couch - and said the cops could just come and arrest him, he didn't care. I called his counselor that we have been working with since last Oct and he was able to pep-talk him into it. That was a very stressful day. He leaves his dirty diapers in the bathroom, making it unusably smelly, and hides them all over his room. He also wears his brother's clothes and pees in them, making his brother understandably upset. His psychiatrist says after he turns 18 next month that the first time he pees on my furniture I am to tell him, "I love you, but I love your brother and myself too, and this is unacceptable." And drive him to a homeless shelter or something. I'm still working on where to take him. His brother is 14 and, just this spring, got taller than his older brother, which irritates older brother no end. Older bro. smokes cigarettes too. He's threatened to kill himself. He's told me, "You know what I would like to do right now if there were no consequences? I would like to cut your throat, watch you bleed to death and **** on your corpse." Isn't that sweet? He walks with leg braces, and is supposed to use arm crutches, but doesn't always. He uses a wheelchair for long distances and sports (wheelchair basketball). He is also planning to use the chair for school this fall - community college. I have filled out his financial aid forms. His school application. His SSI application (twice now). Application for Medicaid (my kids had it for a year, then I got separated in '06 and income dist. payments made us ineligible) Now we are still ineligible (maybe) because my mom is paying the mortgage while I am in my last year of school this fall? I filled out another application for a 4yr university that is interested in him for a sports scholarship (wheelchair Bball). I applied, payed for and took him to his SAT. I filled out his Vocational Rehab application. And have spent the last week trying to find him a place to live. Most recently I have liaised with an advocacy group to help ID housing options and filled out a Section 8 housing application. All while he has been sleeping, or out of the house without my permission smoking cigarettes and talking to homeless people. and whatever else. I'm tired. He's got an idea that he wants my grandmother (93 yrs old) and my aunt to chip in with his step-father (who he hasn't seen since Nov. '06) to buy him a computer for college. I told him even if he gets the money, he'd be subject to having me confiscate it for not doing chores and self-care/hygiene. I have a dead-bolt on my bedroom door. After having to break in twice because I locked my keys in, I have a lock that can only be locked from outside by a key. I keep any alcohol and "controlled substances," ie: klonopin, percocet, and all the knives I've confiscated from him locked up. Along with my purse, cell phone, house phone, etc. (also any lighters I've found - he once made a "bomb" out of black powder from a road flare and a glass Xmas ball) in my room. I have my computer passworded and my car locked. I'm sort of used to it by now, but for a long time I felt like I was living in a prison. His brother, also has his door locked and I've recently given little brother a key to the rec. room because Big Brother was peeing on the furniture in there too. (The couch was in the living room. It's in the garage now because it had been peed on so many times that washing the cushion covers did not eliminate the smell. I'm hauling it to the dump first chance I get along with his mattress. I had a waterproof cover on it, but it got torn and he neglected to address the problem and peed all over the mattress.) So now my living room has the best $25 rug I could afford and 4 blue, plastic lawn chairs. The dog sleeps on the carpet, which is roughly in the spot where the couch was. I affectionately, and ironically refer to that area as "the couch" now, since she (dog) would never lay on the floor. I'm so happy that the Seroquel seems to be working, but I am so nervous as well. I don't trust to luck and I wonder if tomorrow I'll wake up and everything will go back to **** again. My sons have told me they don't like my boyfriend. The younger because he is concerned that said boyfriend is trying to step into the "Dad role;" the elder because, since my boyfriend's son is overweight, he has no prerogative advising me on parenting issues. Basically, neither of them want anyone interfering with their capacity to push me around. boyfriend has been in our lives for over 1 1/2 years. He has a 12 yr. old daughter who he is working with a psychologist to reunify with after his messy 06-07 divorce, and a 9 yr old son with Aspergers. We're quite a bunch, I can tell ya.