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Hi! I’m new to ParentEmeritus with homeless adult child in peril
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember1" data-source="post: 761651" data-attributes="member: 23706"><p>Hi there, frieend. I am sorry for your daughter's situation and poor choices. I understand. I send prayers from the deepest core of my heart.</p><p></p><p>I enabled my 30+ daughter for ten years and we lost a lot of our savings trying to help her. However nothing changed or helped our daughter. She is homeless in a motorhome somewhere NW. Arizona?</p><p></p><p> After tons of therapy and NAR Anon too, my husband and I believe we don't help Kay when we try to help her. She is also choosing "to leave the rat race." She survives on government services and won't work. Her crazy husband works part time at a pizza place and he also gets services. </p><p></p><p>My husband and I almost divorced over Kay, and my.two very good kids were upset at me because I was the one who kept "helping" her. I spent way more time on Kay than on anyone else. </p><p></p><p>in my opinion I woke up in time to save the rest of my family and to force Kay to stand on her own, even as she chose homelessness. </p><p></p><p>Kay may want to leave the rat race ( meaning not work to her). She can do what she wants to do, but we are not going to help her live that lifestyle. She is an adult, strong and able to work and do better. No reason she can't get a job. We bought her a house, then a mobile home and she lost both. And they were also thrown out of apartments that we paid for.</p><p></p><p> At least if we don't offer help, Kay has to apply for government help, which she refused to do when we "helped," her. Did I forget to mention they have a child who is in the custody of our other daughter? She does.</p><p></p><p>We as parents don't have to help our 30+ adult kids live their dreams. in my opinion THEY have to do it. Or not. I decided NO MORE. Our Bank of Mom and Dad is mo longer open to her and Lee. She is furious and won't talk to us. That is her decision. </p><p></p><p>We can decide to spend our lives taking care of adult kids. But we can't live forever. We have no choice about dying. Then what? </p><p></p><p>Going fot help about this problem in my opinion is a good possible plan. Therapy and Nar Anon saved my life and family.</p><p></p><p>My heart goes out to you. I hope you can find peace.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember1, post: 761651, member: 23706"] Hi there, frieend. I am sorry for your daughter's situation and poor choices. I understand. I send prayers from the deepest core of my heart. I enabled my 30+ daughter for ten years and we lost a lot of our savings trying to help her. However nothing changed or helped our daughter. She is homeless in a motorhome somewhere NW. Arizona? After tons of therapy and NAR Anon too, my husband and I believe we don't help Kay when we try to help her. She is also choosing "to leave the rat race." She survives on government services and won't work. Her crazy husband works part time at a pizza place and he also gets services. My husband and I almost divorced over Kay, and my.two very good kids were upset at me because I was the one who kept "helping" her. I spent way more time on Kay than on anyone else. in my opinion I woke up in time to save the rest of my family and to force Kay to stand on her own, even as she chose homelessness. Kay may want to leave the rat race ( meaning not work to her). She can do what she wants to do, but we are not going to help her live that lifestyle. She is an adult, strong and able to work and do better. No reason she can't get a job. We bought her a house, then a mobile home and she lost both. And they were also thrown out of apartments that we paid for. At least if we don't offer help, Kay has to apply for government help, which she refused to do when we "helped," her. Did I forget to mention they have a child who is in the custody of our other daughter? She does. We as parents don't have to help our 30+ adult kids live their dreams. in my opinion THEY have to do it. Or not. I decided NO MORE. Our Bank of Mom and Dad is mo longer open to her and Lee. She is furious and won't talk to us. That is her decision. We can decide to spend our lives taking care of adult kids. But we can't live forever. We have no choice about dying. Then what? Going fot help about this problem in my opinion is a good possible plan. Therapy and Nar Anon saved my life and family. My heart goes out to you. I hope you can find peace. [/QUOTE]
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Hi! I’m new to ParentEmeritus with homeless adult child in peril
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