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<blockquote data-quote="Deni D" data-source="post: 751825" data-attributes="member: 22840"><p>Hi Carrie, welcome. Just from my viewpoint with my own personal experience:</p><p></p><p>Schools can be pretty tough to deal with, some worse than others. The local school district here was terrible for special needs. They did like to classify any child they could, keep them in the school district and collect a few extra dollars for each of them, doing nothing for them. The name of the game is money here. So in general dealing with schools I'm not very trusting, even though I'm sure there are plenty of good school districts out there.</p><p></p><p>On the education side the first thing I would do is to find a special education advocate. I suggest an advocate first because that person will spend much more time actually helping you than a lawyer will. I had an advocate who was a mother of a special needs child who learned what was required from the school districts and how to talk and deal with them herself. She was a godsend back then. </p><p></p><p>A good advocate can look at the documentation for what testing and decisions the school has already done and make recommendations for what else is needed. The advocate should go to all meetings with the school district with you. It's also helpful to record the meetings, tames down any un-useful commenting or misinformation from school staff. </p><p></p><p>I think it would be very good to have neuropsychological and psychological testing done as soon as you can for your son. Then take it from there. I would suggest you have this testing done privately, not through the school district even if they offer it. I'm saying this because my son's neuropsycholgical testing was done through the school district with the results stating he was a-okay when in fact it should have shown motor skill problems and processing speed deficits. I am sure the place that did the testing found no issues with most of the children sent there for testing so they could continue to get the business from the school district. </p><p></p><p>Something you said about not wanting to make your son's behavior everyone else's problem and seem to think the school should not have to "put up" with your son's behaviors. True to an extent but your son has a right to a free and appropriate education. That means the schooling he gets has to be in an environment where he can pay attention and learn. Of course it means you would do as much as you possibly can to help him with strategies at home, with therapy and with doctors and such but it also means they have to make accommodations with his school environment. Accommodations would be anything from redirecting him, a one on one aide, to a separate private school and lots in between. If it were up to the local school district here my son would have been home schooled, gets them off the hook, completely. As it turned out he attended a private school for children with higher IQs and emotional problems. The school district paid to bus him and the tuition. My son got an excellent education. Even with all of my son's issues today with not taking care of himself that education has helped him in many ways. </p><p></p><p>Also you mentioned something about "no big deal, just drug him". Oh if were so easy, lol! That statement of just drugging a child from people who have not been down that path is pathetic. It sounds like you just go to a doctor, get a script, and all you have to do is hand your child a pill. The reality of it is kind of like comparing the Sunday armchair quarterback to the guy who's actually on the field. If you go down the path of trying any medication for your son a GP would not be a good idea. A child psychiatrist, with a good reputation and who requires a lot of involvement from the parents would be best. </p><p></p><p>Please don't beat yourself up, and don't let anyone else do it to you either. It's not a good situation, but there is a lot you can do for your son at his young age. I can tell from your posts you are more than capable.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Deni D, post: 751825, member: 22840"] Hi Carrie, welcome. Just from my viewpoint with my own personal experience: Schools can be pretty tough to deal with, some worse than others. The local school district here was terrible for special needs. They did like to classify any child they could, keep them in the school district and collect a few extra dollars for each of them, doing nothing for them. The name of the game is money here. So in general dealing with schools I'm not very trusting, even though I'm sure there are plenty of good school districts out there. On the education side the first thing I would do is to find a special education advocate. I suggest an advocate first because that person will spend much more time actually helping you than a lawyer will. I had an advocate who was a mother of a special needs child who learned what was required from the school districts and how to talk and deal with them herself. She was a godsend back then. A good advocate can look at the documentation for what testing and decisions the school has already done and make recommendations for what else is needed. The advocate should go to all meetings with the school district with you. It's also helpful to record the meetings, tames down any un-useful commenting or misinformation from school staff. I think it would be very good to have neuropsychological and psychological testing done as soon as you can for your son. Then take it from there. I would suggest you have this testing done privately, not through the school district even if they offer it. I'm saying this because my son's neuropsycholgical testing was done through the school district with the results stating he was a-okay when in fact it should have shown motor skill problems and processing speed deficits. I am sure the place that did the testing found no issues with most of the children sent there for testing so they could continue to get the business from the school district. Something you said about not wanting to make your son's behavior everyone else's problem and seem to think the school should not have to "put up" with your son's behaviors. True to an extent but your son has a right to a free and appropriate education. That means the schooling he gets has to be in an environment where he can pay attention and learn. Of course it means you would do as much as you possibly can to help him with strategies at home, with therapy and with doctors and such but it also means they have to make accommodations with his school environment. Accommodations would be anything from redirecting him, a one on one aide, to a separate private school and lots in between. If it were up to the local school district here my son would have been home schooled, gets them off the hook, completely. As it turned out he attended a private school for children with higher IQs and emotional problems. The school district paid to bus him and the tuition. My son got an excellent education. Even with all of my son's issues today with not taking care of himself that education has helped him in many ways. Also you mentioned something about "no big deal, just drug him". Oh if were so easy, lol! That statement of just drugging a child from people who have not been down that path is pathetic. It sounds like you just go to a doctor, get a script, and all you have to do is hand your child a pill. The reality of it is kind of like comparing the Sunday armchair quarterback to the guy who's actually on the field. If you go down the path of trying any medication for your son a GP would not be a good idea. A child psychiatrist, with a good reputation and who requires a lot of involvement from the parents would be best. Please don't beat yourself up, and don't let anyone else do it to you either. It's not a good situation, but there is a lot you can do for your son at his young age. I can tell from your posts you are more than capable. [/QUOTE]
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