Hi my brother beats me he 21, and my mom says i dont know what to do.

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by Alex A, Jun 8, 2017.

  1. Alex A

    Alex A me and couszin, great time catching the bass

    Mom doesnt know what to do, thinks just because he 25 he can beat me and my mom says" hes 25 i can do anything".

    what should i do.? can my mom actully do nothing. im 18
     
  2. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Of course not. At 25 he should be on his own. She can toss him out. by the way, you can call the police if he assaults you. AND in my opinion YOU SHOULD CALL THE POLICE AND PRESS CHARGES. Nobody can legally assault another person.

    You can also move out. Your mom seems like she is not a very strong person, but there is nothing you can do about that.
     
    Last edited: Jun 8, 2017
  3. Alex A

    Alex A me and couszin, great time catching the bass

    thx, but how can i move out, how much money will i have to make a week or month, or day, for an average house or aparment, your definalyty right she isnt a strong person, my brother is also many like the other forums on hhere, smoke weed, do nothing, steal, get into trouble, he always tells me im a pice of shitt, and loser, i never steal, 1 time he stole 100 dolars us from me, and i knew it was him, but my whole famly never belives me no matter how many times i tell them and no matter how much shittt has happend and no mater how many things hes stolen. my parents dont do anything, what should i do, move out, any other soulution/?/?thx
     
  4. Alex A

    Alex A me and couszin, great time catching the bass

    she doesnt toss him, out, she thinks he should stay in house if he needs to. my parents are so oblivous, and of course i want to be respectful, but this stuff happens it like i just feel srewed no mater what, my brother knows that im screwed from him,
     
  5. Alex A

    Alex A me and couszin, great time catching the bass


    thx, but how can i move out, how much money will i have to make a week or month, or day, for an average house or aparment, your definalyty right she isnt a strong person, my brother is also many like the other forums on hhere, smoke weed, do nothing, steal, get into trouble, he always tells me im a pice of shitt, and loser, i never steal, 1 time he stole 100 dolars us from me, and i knew it was him, but my whole famly never belives me no matter how many times i tell them and no matter how much shittt has happend and no mater how many things hes stolen. my parents dont do anything, what should i do, move out, any other soulution/?/?thx


    she doesnt toss him, out, she thinks he should stay in house if he needs to. my parents are so oblivous, and of course i want to be respectful, but this stuff happens it like i just feel srewed no mater what, my brother knows that im screwed from him,

    it got so bad i was sent to a mental hosiptal for a week
    locked doorsm, cant get out, stock u up on medications, i didsnt take them, oh but when i get back hes all nice, and wants to spend money on me so then he look great in front of my parents, cas of al the shitt hes stolen, but will deny everything even if it kills him, i dont have any1 on my side ecpet 1 friend, but he cant do anything,now im trying to get my license and bemcome a plumber,or learning courses for diving, or a fisherman for a living
     
  6. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Wow. It sounds awful. I believe you.

    I think you need to get out first and then maybe take classes for some sort of certification later, at night or weekends. Take any job and stash money away. You dont need a castle right now...renting a room in somebodys home has got to be better than living with your brother. You can get a better place as your income improves. I think leaving should be first priority.

    You are very young, however some young men your age are in the military. Is that an option for you? An interest?

    Even if you just get a restaurant job for now, you can find a room to rent. You dont need to move out right away unless you feel desperate. I understand either way.

    You do have the right to call the police if you are assaulted, especially if you have marks on you...that indicates credibility. Your brother will be less credible to the police than your blind parents. Dont let their scapegoating of you become how you see yourself. You are not crazy or bad. They are just, for whatever reason, all in with your lazy, mean brother. That is their problem. It doesnt reflect on you.

    I feel sad for you, but I was the family scapegoat too. You can overcome it. You may have to decide not to care what your family thinks about you. They see you through their own issues, problems, and weaknesses. Their opinions are not accurate.

    That is easier once you move out. in my opinion best to work on that. See if any friends want to share a place with you. If not, look into that room in a private house. Check Craigslist for rooms for rent. Much cheaper than an apartment.
     
    Last edited: Jun 8, 2017
  7. AppleCori

    AppleCori Well-Known Member

    Hi Alex,

    So sorry you have a brother like this, and worse, that your parents enable his behavior.

    Call the police when your brother starts threatening you. That may dissuade him from escalating his behaviors. If he assaults you, he may be told to leave the house or go to jail. This alone may stop him from continuing to attack you.

    If the attacks continue, and your parents won't make him leave, you may need to find somewhere else to live.

    Many of us here, including myself, left home at 18 or before with little or no help from parents or anyone. It can be done. Think outside the box for your living situation.

    There are rooms to rent that cost little, utilities included.

    Find a roommate situation.

    Military.

    Work and go to school at the same time. Take out student loans if you must.

    There are jobs out there that pay decent without a degree. Moving companies need people to pack and move/load furniture and boxes onto trucks. Cable companies will train you and pay you while you are learning. Construction crews always need unskilled labor and you may learn some skills while doing it. Restaurants always need workers. Waiting tables can often earn good tips.

    Don't allow the abuse to continue.

    Be proactive.

    Please stay with us and let us know how things are going.

    It won't be easy at first, to stand up for yourself, but It will be worth it!

    Appl
     
  8. Alex A

    Alex A me and couszin, great time catching the bass

    what is considered an asssult, is this an assult, he comes over and i take the cahir to protect myself and he rams it into me against the kicthen wall,

    Thanks, i will reply to tell you how im doing with everything, i wrote in in my to.
     
  9. Alex A

    Alex A me and couszin, great time catching the bass

    Thanks, i will reply to tell you how im doing with everything, i wrote in in my to.
    Thanks, i will reply to tell you how im doing with everything, i wrote in in my to.
     
  10. DoneDad

    DoneDad Active Member

    Do you have friends you can stay with? This isn't a situation you can "fix." You need to get out. Make a way. I left a dysfunctional home at 17. You can do it.
     
  11. Alex A

    Alex A me and couszin, great time catching the bass

    thx im tryin to ask 5 guys if i can live with them a litle now and then, my sister, friend, aunty, uncle, another friend
     
  12. AppleCori

    AppleCori Well-Known Member

    Yes, ramming you into the wall is considered assault.
     
  13. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    That is assault.
     
  14. Alex A

    Alex A me and couszin, great time catching the bass

    what would the poclie do.
     
  15. Alex A

    Alex A me and couszin, great time catching the bass

    would they take me away or my brother, or just tell him to stop, my mom siad they would take me away and i would live in anothhrer place
     
  16. AppleCori

    AppleCori Well-Known Member

    Are you in the US or another western country?
     
  17. Alex A

    Alex A me and couszin, great time catching the bass

    I think what happend was, my dad got mad at me and beat me, so my brother saw it thinks now he can do it. espically since he like to do whatever hes wants and cas my mom would never do anything. So i can see that a good parent doesnt just not beat their kids no matter what. but they also dont do it cas it will very negatively reflect on the their own children. and also some kids that get beat think when they have their own children its ok to beat them
     
  18. Alex A

    Alex A me and couszin, great time catching the bass

    im in the eastrn us, new england
     
  19. AppleCori

    AppleCori Well-Known Member

    When you were a minor, the police could have removed you from the home if you were being abused.

    Now that you are an adult, legally, they can't do that.

    They will assess the situation.

    They may just talk to him or they may arrest him.

    Depends on the situation.

    They may be able to direct you to community services in your area to help you transition out of the home.
     
  20. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Your dad is abusive. Your family is toxic. Get out before they hurt you badly.

    The cops wont do anything if you dont press charges. But I think you should. Then you take your brother to court. He deserves it.

    You are 18. Reporting somebody for beating you is not a crime. You arevl 18. Your parents and the cops wont make you go anywhere. But it sounds like a very bad place to be. Your family makes you feel powerless. You are in charge of your life at your age. Only you can change things and stop hearing their belittling crap and demeaning lies.

    Have you ever considered the military? Its a fast ride out if town with housing and pay. The Air Force and Navy are not often directly in combat. You could get a free college education after four years.

    I feel really bad for you. Your family sounds as if they bully you. Dont let them do that.