Hi ,New Here 9 yr old with Borderline (BPD) ,Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) not otherwise specified

[formysparkles]

Hello . I'm new here not quite sure how it all works. haven't quite gotten the signature part figured out yet but here's my story.
Im a mother of 3 . Son 16 very Average, great kid. Daughter 9 was diagnosed with Aspergers Syndrome and recently Bipolar Disorder 1 and ADD. My youngest is 4 yr old Girl ?ADHD.
My husband (separated 2 1/2 yrs) has Bipolar 1 with Psychosis at the current time and is inpatient at psychiatric hospital.Recently needed restraining order on him as his violence grew toward my 16 year old.
My children are all suffering losing their dad recently to such an extreme surfacing of his illness (Psychosis) . My daughter being recently diagnosed with Borderline (BPD) 1 has hit me really hard after watching her father go through this immense personality change and desire to end his own life.
I'm very scared for her, I'm very angry at her and she is extremely out of control. She is medicated but Im not sure its enough. She still rages and she reminds me so much of her Dad it scares me that that is her impending doom. Her Dad was not diagnosed until 29 years old. She was this was since 3. I don't even know where to begin to get her the most possible help. I'm petrified she will become like him. He is not in touch with reality at the current time and there is no signs at all of the man I married. Any thoughts ? Help

 

[Fran]

Hello and welcome. I read your story and want to say how sorry I am that your life has been disrupted by the mental illness that plagued your husband.
I understand your fear for your daughter. Much of this is out of your control. The best you can do is research newest treatments, get expert opinions but love her, set boundaries and be prepared to advocate for her to the outside world and even save her from herself. The hard choices that go against every mommy instinct sometimes
help.
It was important to me that I remember that he is a person and not a diagnosis. I try hard to respect him and treat him with dignity especially when he was at his worst and really not deserving of the decent treatment but I hoped to teach by example even if the fruits of that particular labor aren't evident for many years.
My thoughts about your situation is that you are doing a good job already but may need to keep searching for the best treatments, environments and medications out there.
The other children in the family should not have to suffer from a delusional, psychotic dad and then have a sister who is out of control. Balancing the needs of one with the needs of the rest is difficult.
Hopefully, we can share our stories and support and it will help you. You certainly aren't alone.

 

[DaisyFace]

Hello and welcome--

What a heartbreaking situation! There is quite a bit of mental illness in my family, too...and it iS stressful to worry what your children may or may not have inherited.

"See the person first and not the diagnosis"

That is one of the mantras I learned at my local NAMI support group. If you are not already a member of NAMI - I highly recommend you find a local group. It was so helpful to me!

 

[KTMom91]

Just wanted to add my welcome, formysparkles.

 

[tictoc]

Hi, My 8 year old son also has BiPolar (BP) 1 and it is heartbreaking. He was diagnosis'd about 18 months ago. I second the suggestion that you contact your local NAMI chapter. I have met wonderful, compassionate people through my NAMI support group. I also recommend the Child and Adolescent Bipolar Foundation. You can participate in their open forum or, if you register (for free), you can be assigned to a support group that is only open to members. It is a good resource to have, in addition to this group.

I like the books, "The Bipolar Child," by Dimitri Papolous and "Straight Talk About Psychiatric Medications for Kids," by Timothy Wilens. The Wilens book gives a good overview of all the medications you are likely to consider in the near future.

Good luck.

 

[susiestar]

Welcome! You sure have your hands more than full. This is a great place and I am sure you iwll find a lot of support, caring and information here, as well as a bunch of people who have truly been there done that and won't look at you like the worst parent in the world or like you have three eyes.

The others have given great advice. I have a couple of suggestions/thoughts. First, get your younger 2 evaluated by a PRIVATE Occupational Therapist for sensory issues. MANY of our kids have sensory issues. I have been told by a neuropsychologist and by a psychiatrist that children on the autistic spectrum almost universally have some type of sensory problems. They will seek some sensations even if it isn't safe and they will avoid others like the plague. This is because the brain isn't handling sensory input properly. This should be treated by the Occupational Therapist (OT). I suggest a private Occupational Therapist (OT) because the school Occupational Therapist (OT)'s only look for what will impact academics and life at school. Private Occupational Therapist (OT)'s look at their entire life. They also seem less rushed and more thorough to me. After the initial evaluation you may be able to have the school Occupational Therapist (OT) do follow ups instead of paying for the private Occupational Therapist (OT). You can read about Sensory Integration Disorder (SID) in "the out of sync child" by Kranowitz and I highly recommend "The Out of sync child has Fun" to help provide the sensory stimulation he needs. IF you can only buy one of the books, buy the Has Fun one (same author). Get the other one from the library. Has Fun is PACKED with activities, with ways to adapt them to various needs (including the budget!) and the activities are FUN. For EVERYONE - I even use it to find activities for school parties, etc...

The really great thing about sensory issues is that there are some very effective ways to help this. NOT a quick fix, but also NOT a pill and NOT invasive. Brushing therapy combined with gentle joint compression has been proven to REWIRE how the brain processes sensory info. It is done by brushing the body (under or over clothing) in a certain pattern and then following this with gentle joint compressions done in a certain order. The changes are astounding to me, esp when I htink of how invasive other things are. You MUST MUST MUST be taught how to do brushing by the Occupational Therapist (OT) because if you brush certain areas (esp the abdomen) you can cause some HUGE problems. Once you have been taught how to do it, the pattern is quite easy to remember.

The other thing I wanted to say is that your daughter is a lot younger htan her father was when he was diagnosed. This is a GREAT thing. NOT that she is sick, but that it was caught earlier. The highs and lows of bipolar change the way the brain operates, making more likely to go into those extremes than to not to. The more years that a person isn't treated the harder it can be to treat them. It IS a scary set of diagnosis, but you know earlier so she can get a lot more help than her dad did. Her future doesn't have to be his.

SEnding lots of hugs