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<blockquote data-quote="RN0441" data-source="post: 747992" data-attributes="member: 15032"><p>Hi and welcome:</p><p></p><p>My son was diagnosed with anxiety and depression and conduct disorder at age 15 which brought me to this site. I know how heartbreaking it is when you want to help but you don't know what to do or how to help them. It took us years to even figure out what we were dealing with to be honest.</p><p></p><p>My son's pot use led to other drugs unfortunately. I smoked a lot in my past (mostly teenage years) also but it never took over my life as it did for my son and many others that have an addictive type of personality. I have shared this with my son because I wanted to be honest with him and not pretend I was perfect.</p><p></p><p>Agree that you and his dad need to get some type of plan in place for older son so that this isn't allowed. If he is getting everything he needs, then why would he work? That is how some of them think at that age. He isn't motivated to do anything and being set up the way he is, he has no reason to change. </p><p></p><p>Does either boy have friends or girlfriends or anything? I agree that therapy would be a good thing but I find that guys usually aren't receptive to the idea of this, especially at their ages. It's hard for them to open up. My son wasn't a fan and it didn't stop him from his bad behavior either.</p><p></p><p>I think a lot of what is going on with this age group is the maturity level is very low. Especially for boys. My son has matured a lot due to all the interventions we put in place but I still do see a lot of immaturity in many ways and he'll be 24 in August. By that age I was married already for a few years and had a child at 25. No comparison.</p><p></p><p>It sounds like you are a great mom and none of us are perfect so don't blame yourself. I did that too at first and then I blamed my husband for his parenting ways and it just really doesn't help and sometimes there just isn't a "reason" why these things happen. I had to let the search for the reason go because it was consuming me.</p><p></p><p>My advice is to possibly see a therapist yourself to try to help you to deal with all this - since you are alone and it is very difficult to deal with all of this alone. I saw someone that specialized in addiction which really was a great help to me and I'm sure there are many therapists that have experience with depression. My therapist gave me advice that I was able to use and also taught me self care which is very important when you are going through such stressful situations.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="RN0441, post: 747992, member: 15032"] Hi and welcome: My son was diagnosed with anxiety and depression and conduct disorder at age 15 which brought me to this site. I know how heartbreaking it is when you want to help but you don't know what to do or how to help them. It took us years to even figure out what we were dealing with to be honest. My son's pot use led to other drugs unfortunately. I smoked a lot in my past (mostly teenage years) also but it never took over my life as it did for my son and many others that have an addictive type of personality. I have shared this with my son because I wanted to be honest with him and not pretend I was perfect. Agree that you and his dad need to get some type of plan in place for older son so that this isn't allowed. If he is getting everything he needs, then why would he work? That is how some of them think at that age. He isn't motivated to do anything and being set up the way he is, he has no reason to change. Does either boy have friends or girlfriends or anything? I agree that therapy would be a good thing but I find that guys usually aren't receptive to the idea of this, especially at their ages. It's hard for them to open up. My son wasn't a fan and it didn't stop him from his bad behavior either. I think a lot of what is going on with this age group is the maturity level is very low. Especially for boys. My son has matured a lot due to all the interventions we put in place but I still do see a lot of immaturity in many ways and he'll be 24 in August. By that age I was married already for a few years and had a child at 25. No comparison. It sounds like you are a great mom and none of us are perfect so don't blame yourself. I did that too at first and then I blamed my husband for his parenting ways and it just really doesn't help and sometimes there just isn't a "reason" why these things happen. I had to let the search for the reason go because it was consuming me. My advice is to possibly see a therapist yourself to try to help you to deal with all this - since you are alone and it is very difficult to deal with all of this alone. I saw someone that specialized in addiction which really was a great help to me and I'm sure there are many therapists that have experience with depression. My therapist gave me advice that I was able to use and also taught me self care which is very important when you are going through such stressful situations. [/QUOTE]
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