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<blockquote data-quote="Endoftherope" data-source="post: 748005" data-attributes="member: 23781"><p>I think the answer to my older son is, let him figure it out himself. He is stubborn and won’t listen to my advice. His father argues with me over everything, so there’s no hope in working together and forming a plan for the older son. Older son will have to hit rock bottom at some point to learn and hopefully grow from his mistakes. It’s difficult, as you all know, to sit back and let your adult child go down a destructive path. I’m starting to erect some boundaries, as I’m done “saving” him from his mental health crises. He’s choosing pot over healthy therapy/solutions to his depression/anxiety. I can’t help him if he can’t help himself!!</p><p></p><p>As far as younger son, I think he’s so upset about how his older brother is living that he thinks he Should go to college so he doesn’t end up like his brother. He’s a very bright young man, and I think it’s the right decision, however, he’s having a difficult time with the upcoming changes (new school, new town/state, new Friends, roommate, more studying, etc) he’s a bit overwhelmed. He doesn’t want a gap year he says and his father is against that idea. It scares me a bit to know he’s depressed AND going into a “scary” (for him) new environment that will be stressful. You hear things about depressed college freshmen... and thoughts of that haunt me. I want his mental state to be healthy before he goes away in August, and depression doesn’t necessarily have a quick fix, as I’ve learned.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Endoftherope, post: 748005, member: 23781"] I think the answer to my older son is, let him figure it out himself. He is stubborn and won’t listen to my advice. His father argues with me over everything, so there’s no hope in working together and forming a plan for the older son. Older son will have to hit rock bottom at some point to learn and hopefully grow from his mistakes. It’s difficult, as you all know, to sit back and let your adult child go down a destructive path. I’m starting to erect some boundaries, as I’m done “saving” him from his mental health crises. He’s choosing pot over healthy therapy/solutions to his depression/anxiety. I can’t help him if he can’t help himself!! As far as younger son, I think he’s so upset about how his older brother is living that he thinks he Should go to college so he doesn’t end up like his brother. He’s a very bright young man, and I think it’s the right decision, however, he’s having a difficult time with the upcoming changes (new school, new town/state, new Friends, roommate, more studying, etc) he’s a bit overwhelmed. He doesn’t want a gap year he says and his father is against that idea. It scares me a bit to know he’s depressed AND going into a “scary” (for him) new environment that will be stressful. You hear things about depressed college freshmen... and thoughts of that haunt me. I want his mental state to be healthy before he goes away in August, and depression doesn’t necessarily have a quick fix, as I’ve learned. [/QUOTE]
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