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Hi, newbie from Oz,sooo good to find you all!!
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 28847" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>OK Renee, some protective advice for you, and this is coming from someone who has good reason to feel paranoid about the 'Net at times: don't use your real name in your sig, and don't mention location too publicly either. PMs are good for sharing that sort of stuff, but you need to lie low as far as anything identifying is concerned, especially if you need to slag off at Dept of Ed or schools or teachers. I've had DET people track everything I write, especially when it gets published in hard copy locally. They pass it around.</p><p></p><p>That said, I do know Campbelltown,very well. I went to high school there, so did husband, whose family lived there most of his formative years. We met travelling the trains to the city. My eldest daughter, easy child, did her degree in Occupational Therapy out there and worked at the hospital next up the train line in to the city, as well as doing time in local Community Health Centres (so she has worked with a lot of health professionals in your area and knows many others). She's now moved to our favourite national capital. You and I are a local call away (unless you are a lot further out, south or west). PM me if you want to make contact. I can't promise a lot apart from someone to talk to, but it's always a help.</p><p></p><p>Sounds like tomorrow won't be a good day to talk, not if you've got your hands full. Would he do educational stuff on the computer? Computers are non-judgmental. Also, what are his best subjects? If you give him work in those areas first, it may open the door a bit. Also to bear in mind - ODD rarely travels alone, there is likely to be some other underlying disorder complicating the picture. ODD is a label that Aussie schools in particular like to throw around, because it absolves them from having to try too hard. I mean, what can you do with an oppositional kid? But a kid who is bright - he is likely to have a VERY keenly developed sense of justice and will think the world is being really unfair to him. It takes very little mismanagement by adults in authority to have a kid like this yelling, "Foul!" What has worked for us - giving time to change tasks, and making sure he understands why we are doing what we are doing, or why certain things are expected. We have no punishments other than natural consequences (ie if you don't tell us you finished the ice cream last night, then clearly we didn't know to buy any and you miss out tonight, as do the rest of us.) And this is working for us, big time. If he fails to get his work done for school, then his teachers are disappointed in him and his goal of doing well this year (to show all those teachers in his past who thought he was a waste of time, and to show all those kids who called him dummy and retard) is at risk of going out the window. I remind, rather than nag. But to begin with - we used maths (his favourite subject) and computer tutorials relevant to the gaps in his knowledge. The only books permitted during school hours were similarly, relevant to his education. And if he goofed off and did nothing - those hours got added to the end of the school day. The only escape was to go to bed and go to sleep. Going to bed and lying there awake - read this textbook, son.</p><p></p><p>I also give him choice, where possible, in which school activity to do. And I reward for making an effort. It was amazing how fast things turned around, but it took a lot of intensive supervision and sitting on my hands and mouth for a while. I learned to lead by example, and NOT react using his own behaviours back at him.</p><p></p><p>Hope this helps. I'm glad you've connected with us.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 28847, member: 1991"] OK Renee, some protective advice for you, and this is coming from someone who has good reason to feel paranoid about the 'Net at times: don't use your real name in your sig, and don't mention location too publicly either. PMs are good for sharing that sort of stuff, but you need to lie low as far as anything identifying is concerned, especially if you need to slag off at Dept of Ed or schools or teachers. I've had DET people track everything I write, especially when it gets published in hard copy locally. They pass it around. That said, I do know Campbelltown,very well. I went to high school there, so did husband, whose family lived there most of his formative years. We met travelling the trains to the city. My eldest daughter, easy child, did her degree in Occupational Therapy out there and worked at the hospital next up the train line in to the city, as well as doing time in local Community Health Centres (so she has worked with a lot of health professionals in your area and knows many others). She's now moved to our favourite national capital. You and I are a local call away (unless you are a lot further out, south or west). PM me if you want to make contact. I can't promise a lot apart from someone to talk to, but it's always a help. Sounds like tomorrow won't be a good day to talk, not if you've got your hands full. Would he do educational stuff on the computer? Computers are non-judgmental. Also, what are his best subjects? If you give him work in those areas first, it may open the door a bit. Also to bear in mind - ODD rarely travels alone, there is likely to be some other underlying disorder complicating the picture. ODD is a label that Aussie schools in particular like to throw around, because it absolves them from having to try too hard. I mean, what can you do with an oppositional kid? But a kid who is bright - he is likely to have a VERY keenly developed sense of justice and will think the world is being really unfair to him. It takes very little mismanagement by adults in authority to have a kid like this yelling, "Foul!" What has worked for us - giving time to change tasks, and making sure he understands why we are doing what we are doing, or why certain things are expected. We have no punishments other than natural consequences (ie if you don't tell us you finished the ice cream last night, then clearly we didn't know to buy any and you miss out tonight, as do the rest of us.) And this is working for us, big time. If he fails to get his work done for school, then his teachers are disappointed in him and his goal of doing well this year (to show all those teachers in his past who thought he was a waste of time, and to show all those kids who called him dummy and retard) is at risk of going out the window. I remind, rather than nag. But to begin with - we used maths (his favourite subject) and computer tutorials relevant to the gaps in his knowledge. The only books permitted during school hours were similarly, relevant to his education. And if he goofed off and did nothing - those hours got added to the end of the school day. The only escape was to go to bed and go to sleep. Going to bed and lying there awake - read this textbook, son. I also give him choice, where possible, in which school activity to do. And I reward for making an effort. It was amazing how fast things turned around, but it took a lot of intensive supervision and sitting on my hands and mouth for a while. I learned to lead by example, and NOT react using his own behaviours back at him. Hope this helps. I'm glad you've connected with us. Marg [/QUOTE]
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Hi, newbie from Oz,sooo good to find you all!!
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