I never speak of my boyfriend's difficult child's at all. Their part of my life, yet on a limited basis only two nights a week. Yet as of late I have been thinking about them alot, watching their behaviors thinking about the time we have spent together, etc. I also have no rights regarding them or being able to help them. I have spoken to him regarding the kids on more than one occassion and I have actually asked him to get them in therapy. He has mentioned it to his ex a few times and to no avail they are still not in it. We can't take them because we have activities all day the two days we have them. so we have no open day to do so, or rather no other day we have them. I have grown to care very much for them. His youngest has turner's syndrome so she is undoubtebly the smallest of the pack. Yet fact she is smaller dad has allowed her to get away with-far too much, and mom and partner at home. This equals a nasty, aggressive little girl. So, several mos back we spoke and I told him no more. You are functioning off guilt with her she needs to function and be ok with who she is by letting her get away with stuff you are not doing that. Lets throw in for all these kids their mom flipped the script and announced she was gay. Great for her, yet they totally lost the life they knew and to boot mom moved her partner in as soon as dad was tossed to the curb. Than we have his son. He is hands down my favorite. He has adhd/add non medicated right now. He is sweet, has a heart of gold, can literally melt me at times with his smile. Summer mos. he is great, yet school I have to give him melatonin for sleep at night because he sings himself to sleep and kicks the walls for hours lol. I also have to work with him during hw time because he is so incredibly jumpy and easily distracted, pencil throwing on ocassion etc. boyfriend mostly deals with him now , bc difficult child and I are out at her dance/theatre thing. Yet as of late he is having issues, is not happy at home and has asked us to pls let him live with us when we get a house because I do not think he is comfortable wtih his mom and partner openly displaying their affections for one another they are very open kissing, etc. I strongly believe hugging is fine, mental banter yet any real affection shouldn't be done infront of kids whether your heterosexual or not. His son is not a behavior issue at school ifhandled the right way. His oldest daughter - wow. She is smart and funny at times outgoing manipulative untrustworthy aggressive demanding and wonderful. if that makes sense. She takes the hit the hardest. She has stolen from us as I had mentioned in another thread periodically things, no confirmed monies yet. She has blown up on several occassions this usually occurs with her dad in the truck when he picks her up from after school activities yells and screams at him about her new life with her mom/partner the way they run things there none of the kids like, etc. She is struggling with so much her own identity, her own hormones, new rules at home due to partner running show over there now, etc. So, I am so disgusted at his ex. She is self centered only concerned for her relationship, they make continuous lists at home try different behavioral approaches constantly the kids heads are spinning, it's just insane. So I said to him last night that's it, your their father and they need to be in therapy. They need a safe place in which to vent their frustrations, aggrivation, feelings etc. in whatever way they want and than be helped through it with a trained professional. Why should they pay the price for her coming out that's just bs at the end of the day. Their all beautiful kids in their own way and deserve the right to heal from this. It's been a while now and they still aren't, which I strongly believe is because they were never put in any type of therapy. They may never truly accept her, yet given the right time and the right approach i believe they'll be just fine. The kids come here and their allowed to be who they are. They can express themselves, we'll listen, they can watch a tv show with all of us after dinner and before reading. at their own house they aren't allowed tv at all or any games during the week. This was long, sorry I never talk about them. I was sitting here tonight thinking about them and wanted to ramble on. I'm just keeping my fingers crossed she truly gets them into therapy now.