His jaws should hurt!

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Wiped Out, Jul 22, 2008.

  1. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    When difficult child is in his non stop talking mode it never ceases to amaze me. I asked him today if his tongue or mouth ever hurt from talking so much. He just said no and started telling me about a time when his mouth and jaws did hurt, then just kept right on talking. I think because it's summer I'm seeing more of it right now.

    I had him with me at the grocery store (something I usually try to avoid) and he was non stop. Talking to strangers, showing them pictures on his cell phone, talking to the clerks, asking questions, looking at the reduced groceries on sale and telling everyone who went by, employees and customers, that they were moldy (which one muskmelon was )! The clerk couldn't stop laughing. I just rolled my eyes and told the clerk, I can't take him anywhere. Really, it's futile to try and get him to stop talking to other people. We've tried, we've talked about stranger danger. It all goes out the window when someone will pay him attention. He just thinks everyone wants to hear what he has to say. Unfortunately some of the things he says are downright embarrassing!

    He talked all the way home and the entire time he was playing Wii, driving easy child absolutely crazy. Finally, I realized I was an hour late with his medications. He slowed down a bit after that.;)

    Today it struck me as somewhat humorous, most days not so much. I'm thinking some ear plugs would be a good investment except he is always expecting comments on what he says and I might nod a yes at something I shouldn't!
  2. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    Gee, Sharon, that's ironic because my jaw usually gets sore when Duckie talks that much. That's because I end grinding my teeth.

    I'm glad it was humorous today. :thumbsup:
  3. Andy

    Andy Active Member

    Go ahead and get the ear plugs. The comment will be, "That is very interesting."

    You just wonder how some kids can keep going - and going - and going. They never run out of things to say.

    I am glad today it brought humor instead of total annoyance.
  4. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Obviously, that question went right over his head, LOL!

    I have a friend whose son is very ADHD and has Asperger's. When he gets out of control, she just holds up a finger and says, "Uhhh!" like a warning. I think it's something they've worked out between themselves.
    I am going to have to spend an entire day with-the two of them to get more info because they are incredible. He's 18 now and just graduated from HS.

    I hope tomorrow is quieter for you ...
  5. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Miss KT was the Energizer Bunny of conversation when she was younger. Now I only hear from her when she wants something or is bored. I'm not sure if that's an improvement or not.
  6. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    thank you is doing this now. It is driving Jess and I nuts. Usually he is so high pitched that you can hear him in the next room. I used to say something to Wiz to get him to stop, but I forget what.

    Get the earplugs and then don't respond at all. he might stop if no one will respond?? At least you will get a break. thank you has been driving me nuts because he sounds like he is hurt part of the time. So husband went online and ordered noise cancelling headphones - they go over the entire ear and work even if I am not listening to music or a book tape or whatever. They are awesome! I use them cause thank you is never hurt and is big enough to come to me if he is.

    Good luck with your difficult child and the nonstop talking.
  7. Christy

    Christy New Member

    Glad you found some humor in it today. That helps. I always think if my son was someone else's child I'd find him hysterical but being the one trying to reign him in is not fun. You hit the nail on the head whn you said that you can't shut him off when someone gives him atttention, that is exactly my son. He will say anything to anyone.

    We have been trying to work on this and made a diagram called People We Know. It looks like a bullseye and has three layers, the outer circle, middle circle, and inner circle. Then we made a list of all the people we might encounter and on what circle they belong. Then we wrote appropriate things to say to people in each circle. Periodically I quiz him and bring up a person and ask which circle he/she belongs or I bring up a topic of conversation and ask in which circle it is appropriate to mention it.

    We also developed a signal for when he begins to spew to much information at someone who has asked a simple question or made a simple remark. I give him a quick squeeze on his arm to clue him that his is providing too much information. I was so impressed the other day when it actually worked. We were at the vet and difficult child politely asked to pet someones dog. He got an okay which also gave him the green light to talk this guys ear off. The man said that the dog's name was Zane. difficult child replies that he has a neighbor named Zane. The man says, "that's nice." and difficult child says, "No, actually it isn't. He is not always nice to me and we don't play so well together. The last time he came over he ...ARM SQUEEZE. difficult child shifts gears and say, "Oh that is too much information isn't it?" The guy laughed so hard he practically fell out of the chair.

    Keep your sense of humor and the ear plugs handy!
  8. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    We've developed a signal too, for difficult child 3. Last year while on holidays with easy child & BF1, actually. It was BF1 who began it - when difficult child 3 was talking with apparent irrelevance, BF1 would say, "I think I'll order a pink aerial." Or he would say something else ridiculous about aerials. Slowly difficult child 3 got te message that when someone mentions aerials especially if it's out of context, that perhaps he's talking too much.

    We reinforced it with him last week. husband said to him, "Son, when your medications have worn off and it's later at night, you talk non-stop. You need to be aware of this. We will remind you. At this rate we will be putting in for a bulk order of pink and green aerials."

    Doing it this way has been handling it with humour, and difficult child 3 has been taking it fairly well.

  9. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    TM-I understand about the teeth grinding!

    Adrianne-Good idea about the comment-wonder if it would work!

    Terry-Yep-totally went over his head!

    Mary-easy child is the one we rarely hear from! The constant talking drives her completely nuts!

    Susie-Not saying anything would probably send my difficult child into a rage. I love the idea of those noise canceling head phones. I saw some just the other day and almost bought them!

    Chrity-I like the bullseye way you are doing it. My difficult child just doesn't get it. He figures as long as husband or I am around he can talk to everyone he sees. He can tell you all about how he isn't suppose to talk to strangers but then doesn't follow through.

    Marg-It's great difficult child is doing well with the signal.

    I like the signal idea. We've tried it but difficult child gets really angry and loud when we try to let him know he needs to stop. He truly believes everyone wants to hear him and know him.
  10. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    That's where the thing about aerials works so well. we first used it in conversation around the table with all of us. difficult child 3 would start "getting random" as easy child called it, and BF1 would start talking about needing to order a pink aerial. Someone else would say something equally random but still mentioning aerials, until difficult child 3 finally noticed and said, "Why are you talking about aerials?"
    That was the cue to say to him, "We're just showing you what it's like, listening to someone being random."
    We would sometimes go on to say, "Before you interrupted about X, Dad was talking about Y. We hadn't really finished with that topic, and you stepped in and changed the topic to something very different and also something we're not really involved in to the same extent as you. So next time we try to tell you you're being random, remember this conversation."

    We kept it light. And yes, there were times when he would growl and get exasperated with us, but he generally would put a smile on his face.

    A big part of the problem is that he has something on his mind to say, and he feels an urgent desperation to say it before he loses that thought. Whether we need to hear it, doesn't come into it. Maybe he feels that saying it helps him remember that thought of his for later, I don't know.

    We did find, however, that he was MUCH worse when on Concerta. It was really bad. He wasn't difficult or violent, just non-stop talking. We took him off Concerta and put him back onto his long-acting dexamphetamine and he was much better. So for difficult child 3, a lot of his non-stop talking, randomness and stream of consciousness monologuing was probably rebound.
    He's also now on a higher dose of dex, still no rebound from it but much better performance during the day.

    So maybe that is something to consider - is he worse as medications are wearing off? Worse at any particular time of day?

  11. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat

    Gaaah! I get it. I am always checking Tink's back for an off switch. Or at least a pause button. Mute button? Something.

    And on top of it, she stutters. So bad that halfway through the monolouge, she forgets what she is saying.
  12. trinityroyal

    trinityroyal Well-Known Member

    Y'know, if we could find a way to hook up all of our non-stop-talking difficult children to some sort of generator, we could solve the renewable energy problem in a heartbeat.

    When difficult child gets rolling at top speed with the non-stop talking, I tend to start singing. Badly. At the top of my lungs. Really embarrassing parent kind of songs (French drinking ballads, Tiptoe through the Tulips, anything by Perry Como or Paul Anka). Usually difficult child is stunned and mortified to the point of silence. Then I tell him I will keep singing as long as he keeps talking.

    husband tells difficult child to log on to zipit.com. That's his code word, and it seems to work as well as my singing does (but not nearly as much fun)