His sense of entitlement has GOT to go..VENT LONG

I was beginning to think I was the only one! However, my daughter is only 8 at this time, but she destroys everything. I don't know how much food and cleaners and other stuff I go through because she opens things and leaves them out, sits down and eats a whole bag of chips or opens the cereal and leaves it out or hides it in her room and then she complains she has none.

She takes apart my brooms and mops and throws things and everything. I have tried every type of punishment I can think of, but it doesn't change anything. I throw things away, take things away and all that kind of stuff and while I do get a tantrum most of the time, then she's done and she doesn't care if she gets the stuff back or not. Everything is hers, the house, the car, the furniture. I get, "it's my house, I'll do what I want," or "it's my room, I'll do what I want," over and over.

If we go to the store and she doesn't get anything, but I do, then "it's not fair," even though I hardly ever get anything and I am constantly buying things for her. Or if friends come over and want to play with- her toys, "it's not fair," even though she gets to go over to their house and play with- their toys. And, of course, everything is all of a sudden "her favorite" when friends come over and she doesn't want them to play with- it.

For her birthday, she got around 5 new pairs of shoes for school because she claimed all the others were too small. She has lost every single pair. Either both of the shoes, or one of the set. My mom bought her a jacket just last week and she has already lost it.

As a SM this can be even more frustrating since I don't have the $ to be able to go out and replace things. I have to go to the dollar store to replace things because sooner or later she breaks them or "loses" them.

Just last week I had told her that she couldn't open the brand new bag of cereal and of course she had a fit. I was in my room on the phone and a little while later, I came out and she had split the bag down the middle and had dropped most of it on the floor and was sitting in the living room while a big bowl of milk and cereal on her lap. As I was standing there fuming, with I am sure smoke billowing out my ears, trying not to go off on her, she looked up at me very innocently and said, I forgot. I was torn between laughing like a madwoman or running down the street of my neighborhood screaming.

So, even though it may not be a complete relief, at least you know you are not alone. I have hidden in my room many times just to get away from the accusations and just plain chaos and it sounds like other moms have had to do the same, unfortunately.

Hang in there and remember that even though it may not seem like it, you have done a wonderful thing taking in and loving (though I am sure you don't feel very loving at this point) this child and hopefully, some day, he will realize it and thank you for it.
 

threeCs

New Member
Ohhh--do i know your pain!

Friday nite spent processing latest difficult child incident. Toward the end of it, gets a call from his friend with a ticket to a sunday ball game. We said no--not even based on incident consequenses, but because it was not going to work well with sunday schedule. Did i mention there would be no adult accompanying them? he screamed and yelled at us, it's not fair, he's sick of this s*#$#^, threw stuff all over the living room. In his version of the story, we are holding onto to the 'incident' for too long and it's not fair that he can't go someplace with a friend.

Whatever happened to: I dissappoint, anger and frustrate my parents so i am going to hide out until things blow over? And i will be careful about asking for things for at least the rest of the evening?
 

endofmyrope

New Member
I know you probably already heard this before, but I have to entertain the hope that someone can gain help from my mistakes. My son 17 has been diagnosed since age 7 (I had to tell the doctor what I thought it was and there was my referral to a good head doctor). He has put me through the ringer. This summer was a turning point he has come around, although he is not as mature as I would think he should be (I am a Occupational Therapy Assistant so this is part of my job to know these things, harder as a parent) but he has come a long way. Don't get me wrong he is still hard but my reactions to his behaviors has changed which in turn changed his reaction to my reaction ......
I have begun making each and every demand a non issue, as a matter of fact every once in a while I say yes just to throw him off. He now asks "I know your gonna say no but..." if I say no in the store he just stomps off and I pretend he belongs to someone else. Or I just refuse to take him anywhere with me at all. Maybe he is just growing up in his own individual way but these new tactics seem to be working for me, he wanted the reaction from me and when I stopped giving him that the behavior lessened. Good luck with your child and my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family and by the way get that husband on board same page, same response to each situation and life might get easier for you.

Tracey
 

mstang67chic

Going Green
She takes apart my brooms and mops and throws things and everything. I have tried every type of punishment I can think of, but it doesn't change anything. I throw things away, take things away and all that kind of stuff and while I do get a tantrum most of the time, then she's done and she doesn't care if she gets the stuff back or not. Everything is hers, the house, the car, the furniture. I get, "it's my house, I'll do what I want," or "it's my room, I'll do what I want," over and over.

Mine "makes" things out of stuff like that. Our back yard and patio look like a mutant junk yard.

Just last week I had told her that she couldn't open the brand new bag of cereal and of course she had a fit. I was in my room on the phone and a little while later, I came out and she had split the bag down the middle and had dropped most of it on the floor and was sitting in the living room while a big bowl of milk and cereal on her lap. As I was standing there fuming, with I am sure smoke billowing out my ears, trying not to go off on her, she looked up at me very innocently and said, I forgot. I was torn between laughing like a madwoman or running down the street of my neighborhood screaming.

We started (a loooong time ago) literally locking stuff up like cereal, snack cakes, popcorn, chips, etc. Basically any non perishable foods that are considered "junk". If we don't it will be eaten or wasted in one sitting. You might want to consider this. We keep it all in our room, keep the door locked (deadbolt as he's broken in twice with just the key lock on the door knob) and dish it out as needed.
 
I thought of this post again last night. I've had it with difficult child 1 :grrr:!!! difficult child 1 thinks that it is his birthright that we send him to a private out of state college and foot all the bills. :grrr:

First of all, we're not made of megabucks. And, even if we were, he needs, what does Star call it? - the magic fairy who can wave her wand and presto, hit difficult child 1 with a shot of reality??? difficult child 1 as you know, gets A's in subjects he likes and F's in subjects he doesn't like. He only does homework if he feels like it. He only pays attention in class if he feels like it. BUT, all the great colleges will be begging for difficult child 1 to attend them :hammer: :rofl: :rofl:...

We've explained to difficult child 1 until we're blue in the face that he needs better grades in order to go to school. We've explained to him that we can't afford an expensive school, and even if we could, he should have to take out loans, get a part time job, etc... to help pay for his education. Life isn't a free ride :grrr:!!!

difficult child 1 is entitled though :hammer: :grrr:!!! It's ok if Mom and Dad have to eat cat food and each work three jobs so he can go to the school of his choice. Afterall, if we don't send him, it's our fault that his "life will s*ck"!!! :hammer:

Where is that fairy with her magic wand??? WFEN
 

TerryJ2

Well-Known Member
How about if you tell him you really like the idea that he wants to go to an out-of-state college, and you sit down and make a college plan. Then list the colleges he wants, their tuition, and in sep. columns, how much all of you will contribute. (You will have to spend at least 1/2 hr doing this on the computer b4.) Make it totally robotic and distant, no emotions at all. When he explodes, just give him a blank stare. After a pause, say, "But it was YOUR idea."
Print two copies so he can keep his own.
 
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