Hi everyone!
I did my newbie post and gave you generailzed info on the family dynamics and such, but that I need to post more specifically about my lil difficult child as to give you a better understanding as to why I'm here.
Roughly, 4 years ago I left my difficult child's father and our divorce has been final for 3 years. It was not pretty in the beginning of the separation/divorce because my ex couldn't keep his thoughts/feelings/opinions to himself about the demize of our relationship and expressed this to and in front of our children. As with most lil boys age 7 - 12, my son idolizes his father and has a hard time differientiating between his own thoughts/feelings/opinions and his fathers...he tends to take on his father's as his own. No surprise, this has effected how my son feels about me, my new husband and our way of life...rules, guidelines and responsibilities.
Over the last couple of years, my son's behavior has changed greatly and he has become more defiant, mouthy, opinionated and acting out. He does not hesistate to talk back or as he puts it 'stands up for himself'. He blantly ignores the rules we have, his chores, his homework, etc. He is mean and full of anger. He's not so much violant towards people, but has been known to slam doors and bang on furniture. He will lock his door to keep me out. His room is a mess, despite repeated attempts to have him keep it clean.
Academically, he had to have tubes put in his ears twice...once in kindergarten and again in 3rd grade, which he had to repeat 3rd grade. He has had Title I classes and tutors for both reading and math since 1st grade. He's become quite good at Math, but still struglles in his reading and grammar. He goes to his father's on Tuesday and Thursday and every other weekend. He brings them home by 8 on Tues. & Thurs. Most of the time my son's homework is not done on those nights when he gets home. We have a log that we have to sign every night as proof that we are aware of his assignments and that we've checked them. My son's log reflects my signature on Mondays & Wednesday...they don't usually have homework on Fridays and there is no signature on Tues. & Thurs. unless I sit him down at 8:00 when his dad brings him home and has him do it then. I try to have him in bed and asleep by 9 at the very latest to keep him from being moodier then normal the next day.
While at his father's he eats, and drinks whatever he chooses, including energy drinks (which I don't allow at my house), watches whatever he wants on tv and on the weekends he there he stays up all night with his cousins playing inappropriate - mature rated video games on his xbox.
And people wonder why he hates my home!?!?!
Rather then ramble on further, I'll stop here and let you start throwin out questions to me. Thanx for listening.
I did my newbie post and gave you generailzed info on the family dynamics and such, but that I need to post more specifically about my lil difficult child as to give you a better understanding as to why I'm here.
Roughly, 4 years ago I left my difficult child's father and our divorce has been final for 3 years. It was not pretty in the beginning of the separation/divorce because my ex couldn't keep his thoughts/feelings/opinions to himself about the demize of our relationship and expressed this to and in front of our children. As with most lil boys age 7 - 12, my son idolizes his father and has a hard time differientiating between his own thoughts/feelings/opinions and his fathers...he tends to take on his father's as his own. No surprise, this has effected how my son feels about me, my new husband and our way of life...rules, guidelines and responsibilities.
Over the last couple of years, my son's behavior has changed greatly and he has become more defiant, mouthy, opinionated and acting out. He does not hesistate to talk back or as he puts it 'stands up for himself'. He blantly ignores the rules we have, his chores, his homework, etc. He is mean and full of anger. He's not so much violant towards people, but has been known to slam doors and bang on furniture. He will lock his door to keep me out. His room is a mess, despite repeated attempts to have him keep it clean.
Academically, he had to have tubes put in his ears twice...once in kindergarten and again in 3rd grade, which he had to repeat 3rd grade. He has had Title I classes and tutors for both reading and math since 1st grade. He's become quite good at Math, but still struglles in his reading and grammar. He goes to his father's on Tuesday and Thursday and every other weekend. He brings them home by 8 on Tues. & Thurs. Most of the time my son's homework is not done on those nights when he gets home. We have a log that we have to sign every night as proof that we are aware of his assignments and that we've checked them. My son's log reflects my signature on Mondays & Wednesday...they don't usually have homework on Fridays and there is no signature on Tues. & Thurs. unless I sit him down at 8:00 when his dad brings him home and has him do it then. I try to have him in bed and asleep by 9 at the very latest to keep him from being moodier then normal the next day.
While at his father's he eats, and drinks whatever he chooses, including energy drinks (which I don't allow at my house), watches whatever he wants on tv and on the weekends he there he stays up all night with his cousins playing inappropriate - mature rated video games on his xbox.
And people wonder why he hates my home!?!?!
Rather then ramble on further, I'll stop here and let you start throwin out questions to me. Thanx for listening.
