Hmmm...difficult child's father....

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by klmno, Jan 22, 2010.

  1. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    He just confirmed me as a friend on Facebook. Of course he has no clue who I am because I used an alias. His FB page portrays him as married and religious. (The man who refused to acknowledge his child but also refused a paternity test even when I offered to pay for it to prove it.) In an indirect way it also confirms the addresses and contact info I gave to DSS- who claim they can't get him for CS. BS. If I can find him so easily, why can't they? In this day and age I can't believe there are so many people who still want to let dead-beat dads just walk because, you know, it's the mmother's fault for "getting herself pregnant".

    Can I kill him now? LOL!
  2. ML

    ML Guest

    Yes, but make sure you do it under the alias ;)
  3. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    LOL!! good one, ML!

    I'm holding back the temptation to send an email with difficult child's photo saying "this is my son...oh by the way, he's your son, too".

    He's FB friends with his wife- the name is listed as "friends" and who he's married to. I'm sure she has no idea what she got herself into.
  4. ML

    ML Guest

    Just be glad it's NOT you. You have to wonder if people like this ever stop to think about the damage and hurt they've caused to others by their selfish ways. I guess it's possible he's changed but he sure has planted a lot of bad karma and I doubt there's much joy or peace surrounding this man.
  5. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    Well if he'd really changed, wouldn't he want to own up to the child he knows he conceived?
  6. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Even after I told Child Support exactly where to find Miss KT's father, gave them both home and work addresses, they still couldn't find him. They just didn't want to go outside the county and do any work. When I called the office, screaming, they said they didn't have enough info. Oh, really? I asked what else they needed besides the address. They wanted his work number. I was so ticked by then, I said, "Fine. Here's what you do. You pick up the phone, dial 1-415-555-1212, and when the operator comes on, you say, 'San Mateo', then you ask for ABC Bicycles. The operator will then give you the number, and you dial it."

  7. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    That's's so much easier for them to hold the parent that shows up for everything accountable for it all. Even when mental health evaluation's have all said the issue is his father denying him. by the way, I'm paying CS now to the state.
  8. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    CS sure never had any trouble coming after and "finding" husband if he was behind. Of course we weren't hiding either. lol

    My husband just made a facebook profile. He's found a few people he's worked with and now they're using each other as referrences. lol
  9. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I think there are some services that will go after him for you. It costs a percentage of the back child support but anything would be better than what you are getting now.

    Why not go on FB as your alias and ask what should happen to fathers who deny paternity and paternity tests even when it is clear they are the fathers. Should the dads be exempted from back CS if they pay all future CS? Be put in jail? Be given visitation? What would the preacher think? Ask him these questions. I am pretty sure that he would say, publicly, that a dad has to be held accountable.

    Wouldn't it be interesting after that to post on HIS wallpaper asking if he felt that way why HE did not pay CS for his son, age XX, who was being raised by a single mom with no support because HE refused to either take the paternity test or pay CS?

    Maybe even ask if his wife and his church know that he has a son that he turned his back on?

    I am the kind of person who might even friend the wife and ask it in a private message to her. You might be surprised at the wife's reaction.
  10. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    I LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE Susie's idea of friending the wife. And the posts, everything!

    Well, my exh owed me almost $30,000 through the child support enforcement bureau in NYS and they didn't do diddly about it for something like 12 years. As my girls neared their 18th birthday I went after him. I had to take time off from work and petition the NYS family courts to get the money. It actually worked and we even organized all the papers togething in the lobby of the courthouse. And he paid all the back support and mucho interest. Then he tricked me and I haven't seen a dime since difficult child turned 18, even though in the state of NY it's age 21.

    Chasing money is difficult - but chasing someone so they can be the father to their son is heartbreaking. At what point do you stop chasing? Hugs~
  11. ML

    ML Guest

    Susie that's brilliant.
  12. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    No kidding! I got a chuckle out of those suggestions, Susie! I'm just mulling it all over. I might not do anything- I had sent the friend request a month or so ago and then decided to forget about it anyway. I was surprised that after all this time, he did accept it.

    As far as the wife, it appears they got married last fall- at least that's when they both listed the change of status on their FB pages. I did look at hers but didn't send a friend request or message or anything. My guess is he's either not told her anything at all about this situation or told her there was just some b***h who had claimed he fathered a child but he's sure it isn't his child. I never understood anyone buying that line from men. If the man is so sure it isn't his, he'd take a test to prove it and put an end to it. If it made a difference to them, they would take the test to find out for sure if they really had a doubt. Shoot, they don't even do blood tests here anymore, they do a quick swab in the mouth for dna and that's it.

    As ffar as chasing him around or ggoing after him for CS, I have never done that- at least the way I define it. I was told about the time difficult child was born that I could pay and have someone go after him privately (I wasn't on public assitance so the state/DSS wouldn't do it), but I never once pursued that. I have not followed him around or harrassed him. I did contact him when difficult child was about 6 yo because difficult child was wanting so badly to just speak with him on the phone. That was to no avail- he first said he would think about it, to call him back in a few days, I did and he said he didn't want to talk to difficult child.

    The only thing I've done ssince is a periodic web search for his name, just so I always have a rough idea where he is. Then, I did this FB thing after DSS got involved, which was initiated by the state because of difficult child's incarceration. Darn right if I am paying CS, they can go after his father, too.