Holey Moley...it's too confusin' & scarey

[DDD]

As you all know easy child/difficult child is an alcoholic. That, of course, is the bad news.
The good news is that he has only had two blunts in eight months AND felt guilty and stupid for those two choices. That is a HUGE step forward.
He has deliberately set out to avoid all friends who may be involved in any criminal activity and calls for me to pick him up if there is no clean and sober ride. That also is HUGE.

Some times we are convinced that he has had "normal" amounts of booze and yet is plastered. We attribute that to his brain surgery and Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) after effects. Recently there are changes in his behavior after partying. It's difficult to describe but in a nutshell he has two behavior changes. First
he comes to my room as he always has to let me know he is home BUT he
asks me to please come visit with him until he can go to sleep. He has a sofa in his bedroom and he wants me to bring my pillow/blanket and stay
with him until he is assleep. He has explained that he is afraid he will go
out or make poor choices if alone. Sometimes he believes things have happened that haven't OR he doesn't recognize it is me on the sofa.

Last night he went out and had nothing to drink...zip. He came home and
asked me to come visit for awhile even though he was sober. He said himself "Mama I know this is weird but it's how I feel." I stayed until 1 or so and he was absolutely not awake when I left. At 3:30 I heard the door to the garage open, then the door to the driveway...and then the reverse
action right away. I popped up and as he came in the door to the kitchen
asked "what's going on son?" He asked "what do you mean?" I said "why did you get dressed and go outside?" He told me a story about having to go with a couple that came by to show them where somebody else was
"but I wasn't gone long and everything is ok".

Today I had a talk with him. He doesn't remember that incident. It is not the first time he has "thought" something happened during the night or someone came to visit. I suggested that we talk to the psychiatrist about it when we go next month and he agreed. Sadly, he added "I have messed up my brain so much that maybe I am doing sleepwalking getting wrong signals from my brain."

It is too confusing & scarey. He and I are very close but the lack of sleep and peace is not healthy for either of us. Having this happen when he was sober........has sobered me up and frightened me. Whine. DDD

 

[Suz]

Is he taking any kind of sleep aids, D3? I've heard that Ambien can cause this kind of weird behavior.

I'm glad to read that you will pursue this with his psychiatrist. Sounds like a neuro exam might be in order as well.

If you put an alarm on his door to sound off when he leaves his room, would that give you some peace of mind?

Suz

 

[DDD]

No, Suz. He only takes the same seizure medication. On occasion he takes a Melatonin but not yesterday or this week. The alarm idea may be necessary if he gets a pattern going but it would be for the exits to the outdoors not his room, I would think. Yikes. Thanks for caring as usual.
DDD

 

[saving grace]

Holey Moley is right D! Wow that would really freak me out as well, I think its a good idea to bring it up to the psychiatrist.
I take an over the counter sleep aid, Its the generic brand of Unisom, it works really well and non addictive I actually only take 1/2 of one. He may need to take something to get some well needed sleep. Your brain, damaged or not can do crazy things when it doesnt get enough sleep. My boss just had a scare, she was told that she was having seizures while she slept and she didnt even know! She was sleep deprived, she said that she would fall asleep fine but wake up around 1am and just lie there, she didnt make much of it because she said she was "resting" she thought it was ok. This went on for years, she didnt tell anyone not even her husband. Then one morning her husband couldnt wake her up, he called 911, they took her to the hospital, ran a battery of tests and that is what they found!! Now she is on seizure medicine, and sleep aids. She cant drive for 6 months. she said when she finally slept for real she couldnt believe how well she felt. She never realized that the crappy way she felt before was due to lack of sleep.

His brain could be reacting to the lack of solid sleep? It's literally playing tricks on him.

Good Luck
Grace

 

[everywoman]

I think a sleep study may be in order. If he is not entering REM, it would send mixed signals to his brain. Hopefully, the neuro will have some ideas. When does he see him again?

 

[lovemysons]

Hi DDD,
First off I am so glad to hear that easy child/difficult child is acting responsibly when he has you come pick him up when there is no other safe ride after a night of drinking. And, that he is avoiding people involved with criminal activity...really sounds like easy child/difficult child has learned some valuable lessons over the years.

DDD, I'm so sorry for this frightening/confusing situation. As always though, you are such a wonderful "mama" to your grandson and he is one blessed guy to have you in his life, to be there in the night when he needs to feel safe.

I hope the dr's figure out what's going on and make it stop.

Hugs and love to you and for easy child/difficult child...he just sounds like such a sweet-hearted guy! You've done a great job in his life.
Tammy

 

[TYLERFAN]

Hi DDD:

Holy Moly is Right!
Maybe he should see the neurologist. medications can cause all kinds of weird stuff, but so can having damage to the brain.......
I am sending caring hugs and support. Better grandparents I have never seen

Blessings,

Melissa

 

[katya02]

Sorry this is so late, but it does sound like he's sleepwalking. Could he be using anything at all that could be interfering with his sleep phases? A sleep study and an EEG might give you some information.

With addicts, it can happen that, after abstaining for a period of time, they are much more sensitive than they expect - the amount they used to drink or use has a drastically bigger effect on them than before. Perhaps that's what's going on as well, but checking liver functions etc. could give some info. The alarm idea sounds like a winner, too.

Best wishes! I hope you and difficult child are getting some sleep this week.

 

[Ephchap]

OMG, DDD, I can only imagine how freaked how you must be when this happens. I definitely would talk to the doctor and get a neuro visit. After everything he's been through (and you), this has to be a worry.

I'm sending mega hugs and good thoughts, my friend. Please keep us posted.

Deb