Holiday Blues


Well-Known Member
Hi All,

My head knows better, but my heart still hurts at the holidays. I have not seen my 41 year old daughter and my two grandchildren (10 and 5) for over 4 years. Her choice and my relief because of her addiction/borderline rage issues. I wrote about the recent verbal abuse by my 36 year old addict son who texted days later as if nothing happened - gaslighting.

It's better for them not to be in my life since they continue to blame me for their problems and are unwilling to look at their own behaviors. The problem is that I, as someone who comes from trauma and who was raised to be a caretaker, still feel guilty and as if somehow I should be able to heal things. Nothing has worked.

I have a 23 year old son whom I adore and a full life, but especially during the holidays when I know my two dysfunctional adult children are alone and blaming me, grief overwhelms me. My heart goes out to all of us who are contending with difficult family circumstances.


Well-Known Member
I am sorry Acacia. You are not alone. I am trying to rope in my virus-denying, ill with covid, son who sleeps in the yard of a home I own. The people I know are cooking for 2 dozen people. I feel grateful for my life, like you do, suffering and all. Love, Copa