Holiday ha ha's.....

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by Star*, Nov 25, 2010.

  1. Star*

    Star* call 911

    Well leave it to DF to bring to light - and not candle light mind you - those 'tender' moments of our first Thanksgivings together. Some of you can only IMAGINE (and I mean that in the nicest way) things that have gone on in the Star house during the Thanksgiving season - so I thought I'd share - apparently time does not forget all turkey transgressions.

    Like my first turkey in our new house. Oh the joy, OH the candor, Oh the confusion - and the denial.....THEY DID NOT GIVE US A BAG OF LIVERS AND GIBLETS IN THIS TURKEY I'm TELLING YOU DF!!!!! Only to find out hours later, whilst pulling out stuffing - Whoop there it is. I shall never live that one down. Turkey was good, stuffing was excellent (SEE? It didn't kill you - it ENHANCED the flavor of the stuffing).

    Or like the year I went shopping for the turkey - and set the frozen 20 lb bird on the floor in the kitchen as I unloaded the rest of the SUV with all the trimmings. I was so excited. Mostly because I KNEW to take out the giblets and liver bag - thing. So warm in the South I had the front door open. Came back in from the driveway with the last load and started putting the groceries away. So proud of myself for shopping wisely all the weeks prior to the Thanksgiving holiday and saving my "TOKENS" at the grocery store for my 'free' turkey. I am Suzy-homemaker personnafide. So ready to show off my bird to my family - and...and? And where? Where is it?

    Did you put it in the freezer DF? Nope. Did you put it in the freezer Dude? (oh really come on now Star -seriously the boy help?) Nope. Well it did not get up and walk out of here. I did bring it in didn't I? Go out - check the SUV - not in there. Check the receipt, yup FREE BIRD. Did they put it in the bag? Surely I remember bringing it in. Can't believe it - so I'm calling the store and as I walk outside with the phone - there in the corner of the yard - ?? The bulldog diggin' like China was the objective - and the Thanksgiving Day bird sticking 1/2 in and out of the dirt pile still in the mesh bag, but it's 1/2 gnawed carcas baking in the sun - and not my oven and my dog - MY PROUD canine - just grinning from ear to ear - so wide was that grin his eyes looked like slits. He wasn't even worried about digging that hole. He had killed something - and it.was.his! We let him finish burying it, and dug it up later. Laughed and dumped it in the trash. So much for "free' dinner. Now when I see it advertised - I just pass and think about the smile that it brought my furkid. Worth every $55 a week spent for the previous 8 weeks. Can't imagine what the garbage men thought. :surprise:

    And you?
  2. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

  3. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    My parents came up for Thanksgiving one year when we lived in OH. Mom was at my uncle's getting things ready there and I was going to cook the turkey at our apartment so the dogs didn't go nuts at my uncle's house and so the house wouldn't be so overheated when it came time for dinner. Plus I didn't have time to spend at his house while it cooked and I was responsible for the turkey (my mom can NOT cook a turkey unless you want to eat shoe leather, never met someone who could make a turkey as bad as hers!). husband had made popcorn earlier that day, and had left the almost new bag of popcorn on the stove. About an hour and a half after I put the turkey in the oven my dad and I start hearing "pop pop pop pop pop pop". I grabbed the bag of popcorn off the stove (hadn't realized it was on a burner, got pushed back onto it by mistake) and the popping noise continued. Turned out that husband had spilled a LOT of popcorn on the stove and most of it went down under the burner. The sheer quantity of popcorn was enough, when popped, to lift up the top of the stove (it was designed to lift up so you can clean the area under the burners)!!! To this day the joke is that I stuff the bird full of popcorn and when it blows the turkey up I know the bird is done!! LOL!!!
  4. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful


    Star I cook that bag of giblets ect inside my turkey every single year. First year was an accident. lol But I've done it every year since simply because it tends to make the bird taste better.........and makes one heck of gravy and stuffing. The outside cats sure don't mind either, it's part of their Tday feast along with the leftover carcass.

    Hmmm. Odd. I don't have a Tday funny to share.
  5. klmno

    klmno Active Member


    I have nothing nearly that funny to offer. But I'll always remember the look on difficult child's face the first year I decided to cook the traditional turkey & full Thanksgiving meal. He was in kindergarten and had been learning about turkeys and trading with the Indians, etc. It dawned on him that these animals he'd been learning about and therefore, had special meaning to him, were the same thing as what we were going to eat about the time I pulled it out of the oven and asked him to help me set the table for our nice turkey dinner. The look on his face was priceless! He got over it though and being all boy, has never had a problem eating it!

    I left a packet inside my turkey the first time, too! It must be initiation for mothers or something!
  6. Star*

    Star* call 911

    Okay the next time I cook turkey I won't forget to add popcorn - THAT is priceless....

    and it's nice to hear that I am not the only one that forgot me giblets.....this year we got a turkey breast and there were no giblets - DF the dogs were kept OUT of the kitchen when I brought the bird in. I can still see Casper doing the backhoe and just smokin dirt all over the place then stopping, looking over at me and SMILING.....What must have been going through HIS head that day!
  7. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I want to know if there is a woman alive who hasnt done the giblet thing at least once. Or person should I say. I know I have. I know Cory did his first turkey. I hear the same story from almost everyone I tell it to. LOL.
  8. HaoZi

    HaoZi Guest

    I've never cooked a whole turkey, so thanks for the warnings.
  9. Mattsmom277

    Mattsmom277 Active Member

    I have a turkey curse. Yes. A Turkey Curse. Curse in past years, started a few years ago:

    Year one: Turkey frozen, forgot to thaw. Google gives instructions to cook from frozen. Ok, that works. Won't fit in my turkey pan. Off to store to buy new one. Rush in, behind schedule, BREAK foot coming inside. Yikes! Took nearly 3 months to heal that bone!
    Year two: Drop casserole dish full of turnips on previous years broken foot, not quite broken again but certainly damaged the bone again pretty nastily
    Year three: Dang bird wouldn't cook? Took hours and hours longer than it had any reason to, hours after guests were starving and all sides were stone cold. Was in tears, had S/O's daughter, severely autistic, at the table for over 3 hours with her fork, just waiting the poor girl. My aunt refused to let me give up and order pizza. Strangely, that stupid evil bird was the best ever!

    I am now the family joke, more so because all family dinners are hosted by yours truly.
  10. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member do you forget the giblet bag? Don't you wash out the cavity and salt it before adding the stuffing???
  11. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    I guess I'm the token woman who doesn't forget the bag...

    A couple of years ago, we got two smaller turkeys. husband does the turkey - he rocks at it - but I prepared it. Thaw, wash, pull out bag, stuff... Make gravy... Make cranberry stuff... Make taters and beans... Make punkin pie (from scratch, the canned stuff is awful now that I've had real)...

    This year, sister in law and father in law hosted. I took homemade rolls and sweet potatoes (more later on this)... My Mom made the turkey, a punkin pie, a pecan pie, gravy, deviled eggs, and her "special" cranberry sauce (YUMMERS). mother in law (divorced from father in law since 1984) was there, and not to be outdone brought asparagus (again, YUM) and hollandaise (not my thing), deviled eggs (yes, she knew my Mom was bringing them), and rolls (this was planned after she found out about mine... can we say difficult child-mother in law?!)...

    About mine. Wednesday night I mixed up the bread dough. Half a recipe of rye, half of wheat, and then a whole one of plain ol' white. Waited FOREVER for the dough to rise. The rye and wheat tasted good, but BOY were they HEAVY and dense. The white rolls were awesome... And GONE in about 10 minutes.

    The sweet potatoes. First, let me say this - my family has never been big on the candied part - so I use minimal brown sugar and NO marshmallows. I got a bag last month from Angel Food Ministries (I love them!!!)... So I peeled them, went looking for Mom's recipe and... Couldn't find it! So I called her. She told me to bake them in their skins first... Whoops. So I boiled them (like mashed potatoes). Drained, mashed in a dish with LOTS of butter. And you know what? They were GREAT! Even Onyxx, who does not like them, said so... Happy...

    But really, up until 2 years ago Turkey Day has always been with my parents (and years ago, Mom's parents). 2 years ago, Onyxx was in psychiatric hospital, and we hosted... Last year, Jett was with BM so the 3 of us went to my parents'. And I can say... I prefer smaller gatherings!!!!!
  12. Mom2oddson

    Mom2oddson Active Member

    This to Mom's to find her just about in tears because she was sure she had ruined the stuffing. She thought she put too much sausage in it. easy child tried it, and I spent the rest of the time until dinner was served chasing him out of the kitchen. He couldn't stop eating it.

    Not so much a funny, but a "best" thanksgiving story. Before Aunt B's parkinson got too bad, my folks and Aunt B, Uncle D would go to the ocean for thanksgiving. The camp ground would host a Thanksgiving dinner. They made the Turkey and Ham and everyone else brought their family traditional sides. 75 strangers, assorted never-tried-before side and a lot of good memories from those trips. Nothing like sharing that day with people you didn't know. Made the heart feel as full as the belly.
  13. Lothlorien

    Lothlorien Active Member Staff Member

    Sounds awesome. I would love to do something like that. Of course, I'd have to get over my weird phobia of not wanting to eat food that I don't know where it came from, but it sounds like a lot of fun.
  14. Star*

    Star* call 911

    JJJ -

    To answer your question - If you had NO idea you were supposed to wash that dirty birds innerds - you would have no idea it was smuggling gibblits into yer oven. I mean WHO thinks on their first Turkey day that a FULL BIRD CAVITY SEARCH is on the menu? :bag:
  15. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Since I do not host Thanksgiving (or Christmas) dinner (there are benefits to having an 800 sq ft house), I'll tell on my mom. One year, she and my dad hosted his entire family...lots of people. Mom bought a huge turkey about a week before, and put it in the garage fridge. When she went out to get it Thanksgiving morning, it was still frozen solid. Panic mode, and driving around like crazy to find a store that was open.

    And she either burned the bread, or forgot about it until we were halfway through the meal.