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Parent Emeritus
Holiday Stress with Adult Children
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 704797" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>Jodie, I know that grief you speak of, I imagine most of us here understand your grief. At times it can feel overwhelming, however, I am a believer in allowing ourselves to feel the grief, not to be overcome by it, but to allow ourselves to feel the sorrow that is truly a part of this experience with our adult children. There is much to let go of and most of us humans are not very good at letting go, we cling to our children, to our beliefs, to what we've lost, to what our kids have lost.......we compare our kids to typical kids and of course, end up feeling not only sorrow, but a deep disappointment that our kids may not have the life we so wanted for them.......I've felt all of that too Jodie, I think it's built into this path we find ourselves on.</p><p></p><p>We can decide however, at appropriate times, decide to put those sorrows, those disappointments aside and to be in the present moment, right here, not ruminating about our kids, not thinking about all that we've lost, not worrying about the future, but to grab hold of this moment and enjoy it. As you manage to do at your boyfriends family home. Over time we can expand those moments and have them last a bit longer. One moment at a time we can learn to be here now and accept reality as it shows up. Struggling against reality creates suffering. I know how hard it is........look for those pockets of joy, peace and fun......expand those moments.......focus on those......hang in there Jodie.........You have a lot on your plate right now........find moments of peace and cherish them.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 704797, member: 13542"] Jodie, I know that grief you speak of, I imagine most of us here understand your grief. At times it can feel overwhelming, however, I am a believer in allowing ourselves to feel the grief, not to be overcome by it, but to allow ourselves to feel the sorrow that is truly a part of this experience with our adult children. There is much to let go of and most of us humans are not very good at letting go, we cling to our children, to our beliefs, to what we've lost, to what our kids have lost.......we compare our kids to typical kids and of course, end up feeling not only sorrow, but a deep disappointment that our kids may not have the life we so wanted for them.......I've felt all of that too Jodie, I think it's built into this path we find ourselves on. We can decide however, at appropriate times, decide to put those sorrows, those disappointments aside and to be in the present moment, right here, not ruminating about our kids, not thinking about all that we've lost, not worrying about the future, but to grab hold of this moment and enjoy it. As you manage to do at your boyfriends family home. Over time we can expand those moments and have them last a bit longer. One moment at a time we can learn to be here now and accept reality as it shows up. Struggling against reality creates suffering. I know how hard it is........look for those pockets of joy, peace and fun......expand those moments.......focus on those......hang in there Jodie.........You have a lot on your plate right now........find moments of peace and cherish them. [/QUOTE]
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