Holy heck, 3 hour iep meeting

buddy

New Member
Here is the response after the meeting i got from the Disability Law Advocate: "you are in trouble"

We spent the first 1.5 hours revising the behavior plan. Actually went ok and our psychologist was a rock star. Really kept them focused. Principal kept trying to ask about the rights of other students and he kept saying that is not part of what we write in the behavior plan. His focus was clearly to get Q out of the school.

Plan was over, we added that an independent FBA would be done to help remediate the behaviors, not just react to them, (beyond what we are already doing)
they are going to get teh audiologist involved to look at an fm system
they are willing to do teh ave/eeg stuff during school once I get it arranged (can't do till Jan with new waiver plan IF it is approved)

well, we will see.

Law advocate has huge history with sp ed coordinator, not a good one. Their comments were comically polite to eachother.

THEN, principal says....I want to hear how Q is doing in school in general. (clearly had an agenda) now they flip all the stories o fhis doing well on this and that to well he has struggled for years. Psychologist says he has never done well. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? so I said, well then, are you telling me that this staff has been lying for two years? WE have all sat in these meetings wtih people saying he is making progress on x, y, z goals. psychiatric says, he doesn't do "big"... well really? he did big last year and all the years before. What was a disaster was when he did "small" school. I reminded them that I directly asked them over and over....IF you feel you want to bring up a change of placement, tell me now so I can research it because I will never agree to a middle of the year move. HE will lose the rest of the year due to the change. Now that we are changing medications, we will not be able to tell which things are causing which if we make any big life changes for him. The program they talked about they said was under change at the end of last year, they said no need to do that because no one feels that is an option. It wont happen. THIS is all because the principal wants it and they are changing their stories because he wants them to go along with him.

the program they talked about now has a new teacher new admin...blah blah it is wonderful. ONly four kids there, when a kid was tearing posters off teh wall they moved all the other kids out to calm him.

Ok, Q has never destroyed a room. BUT IF HE SAW THAT EVEN ONCE.... HE WOULD

I dont care if they took the kids out. FAct is it got attention and Q would obsess and then would do it.

Then it would go on and on while other kids improve and he gets worse and worse. This is what happened in the past, this is what happened in teh hospital and this is what will happen. they would have to really convince me that this would not happen EVER if i would ever agree to it. I told them in any event, not doing the inbetween things to try to improve things.... like the fact that their data showed with a specialized Ed Aide he did well and the day she left the data changed, we need to see the difference with that.

They said, well we just train the ones in the school. I reminded them the ones in the school were the ones who were already frustrated and saying they thought he had full control etc. they were teh ones who added comments when recording data like I am gonna show mr pulice this and you are gonna get suspended...etc.


They said Q is saying these things in the class and the other kids dont know aobut sex. HUH??? J (a year younger) is the one who taught Q to use the word. Teacher reported that when Q liked a girl in school they all teased him and J said "that means you want to have sex with her". Q thought it was funny and continued it but asked me at home, So mom? What is sex anyway? the as the year went on N added notes to Q saying how his mother didn't love him and he was never wanted and that A was really his girl friend and that Q just wanted to have sex with her etc. I called them out on that! SO UNFAIR to pin all the worlds evils on Q.

Then they said he is on his own bus becasue he was taunting a kid... HUH???? I was told he was on his own busses because the driver and aide refused to follow a behavior plan and they thought it would be more comforting for Q to ride his own bus. It was a "reward" which I told them really was to Q like being kicked off the bus. I said, really now you want to say that he HAD to be put on a separate bus??? WOW!

I made it clear they were in for a HUGE fight if they were going to try to move him during a year. I said I am willing to look at options ALWAYS at natural breaks. NOT in the middle of a school year when so much else is changing. This kid takes loss HARD. HE would lose all he knows and not be able to "graduate" with the 8th graders he has been with all this time. He does terrible with change. OOO I am burning.

Principal tried to say that the revised BIP would not carry over to a new school because no other administation would agree to this.... they have a different building etc. I said, HUH? OH yes it would . And law advocate said...UMMM Yes. it would. and sp ed coordinator said, yes it would. AND then he said... well then they should be in the planning now... they should say how it is done here so it can be brought there... EXCUSE ME??? I said, AHHH that is what transition meetings are for in the spring. That happens every time a kid changes schools, things need to change. We dont say well this plan can't happen in this building because it wouldn't work in any other building.


HOLY ****.... Law advocate is right, principal is a jerk and we are in trouble. THEY are in trouble.

She also told me that they are putting together a group complaint so I gave her the name and she told my friend who is having trouble in a transition plus program.... she wants her in it too. She got the district to provide a mentor who specializes in Aspergers to go with a kid to comm. college to help him function there.... right now my friend is being told that they dont do that and he has to be in this "functional class" after getting all A's and meeting general education graduation standards.


I am so disillusioned.

DAPE teacher cried. SHe really loves Q but she sees how he is suffering with them.... I am ready to throw up.

Principal said well what did they do in teh hospital, I said it is not like he went to the hospital for the small behaviors we see here.... he had a medication reaction and was not the Q we know. There is nothing they did there or that happened there that applies. Except that he learned some new stuff that we now have to try to extinguish. It was purely a medication adjustment.

Teacher said, well he did tons of work.... I said, yeah...true. 1:1 constantly... and he did the sheets... but they did nto teach or correct. He was presented with a sheet, and if he answered 19 to all of the 25 problems on the sheet, then they said good job and turned it in. It was not school, it was to help them do their home district school work.


Now principal is calling for monthly IEP meetings, no more core team meetings and he is in charge of them. I want to smack him.
 

InsaneCdn

Well-Known Member
You've already got legal stuff on the go, so too early to pull the media stunt... but it might come to that.
Its one advantage of a more extremely-challenged kid - everybody knows he's got problems, and many are yakking anyway, so not much different to include media...

But...

On the other side of the coin is another group of parents who are being told that their kids won't even be screened for issues, because (use whatever gender) "her problems are definitely extremely mild, and we can't afford to pull resources away from those who have more intensive needs".

In other words... we're ALL in the same boat, at some level.

No advice, D... just {{hugs}}
 

Chaosuncontained

New Member
Holy Toledo Batman! I'm glad you had an advocate there with you. Now, put on your boxing gloves--I feel a fight coming on.

The Principal here is a bleepity bleep bleep too. One of the things that scares me, and we haven't had an IEP meeting yet, is that Mr Billy Bad Butt will try to steam roll any and everything.

I'm sorry. I know all this had to be AGGRAVATING to say the least. I can only offer hugs.
 

HMBgal

Well-Known Member
So sorry to hear the meeting wasn't more positive. Are you tied in with Parents Together.org? Nice website and forum for legal stuff and support. They tangle with Least Restrictive Environment issues head on and they are very anti-exclusion or the "dump the kid in a mainstream class and see what happens." most of the parents seem to be family members of kids with multiple and severe disabilities, but I've learned a lot from them. They firmly believe in SPED being a set of needed services, rather than a place (which is the law, as we all know) but we know how that washes out in the real world. And of course, a small therapeutic class may be the Least Restrictive Environment, but when you lump a bunch of similar kids together, they don't exactly have appropriate modeling, do they? It's hard.

I hope your day gets better and that there was some good stuff to hang onto. Sending good thoughts your way.
 

AnnieO

Shooting from the Hip
No more core team meetings?

HOLY KOI! He's trying to make sure Q fails, isn't he?!

Now - will Q leave his school at the end of 8th grade? Just a wonder... because the VP that we had so many issues with, after we had a lawyer come in ONCE, has totally left Jett alone...
 
T

TeDo

Guest
Wow Buddy. Sounds more and more like you are where I was. Not a good place to be! I don't even know what to say. I am speechless especially since I know you can't do what I finally did. Since you have a disability lawyer, let him/her at 'em. Sounds like this principal needs to be put in his/her place and SOON!
 

buddy

New Member
Law advocate called talked for almost three hours, I'm so tired. This was after meeting PHN and writing the waiver plan. I asked if the waviers were cut a lot and she said NOT YOURS....

So law chick said that she had to hold back because the principal was such a jerk. She could not believe he was asking how a kid was doing in school who hadn't been there since the middle of oct.

All of the other things he and the school psychiatric said, she waned to smack them. She already went to the lead lawyers and discussed and has called a well known autism evaluator and a strong behavior FBA person to work together on the independent FBA. School says they ahve a list of folks, but if they dont have brain injury perspective then we are not going to approve and are going to bring the folks we know have the expertise.

Q is very on edge. I bet the tone of those working with them is ugly.
 
T

TeDo

Guest
He might also be picking up on some of your stress without even realizing it. I know here, if I am stressed, the boys are "off". It could be a lot of things. So much is going on with you AND him. You guys need a vacation.
 

InsaneCdn

Well-Known Member
Under the circumstances, there's a few rays of light - like the news on the waiver....
:congrats:

And having a plan for the FBA...

And the law chick totally getting the picture... and having already involved those above her...


:warrior:
 

buddy

New Member
lol, TeDo, without realizing it... OH YEAH, both of us realize it. I think my hormones are all over the place and having Jessica die and an intense meeting and my kid punching me in the arm in a panic and our PHN watching that???? yeah, he knows.
 

buddy

New Member
Hi culturanta, Thanks for asking. Any input you feel you want to add is truly welcome! well, lots has happened just in this short time. Lawyer has called sp ed director and requrested the independent fba. they are saying no to a dual team to help with the dual diagnosis...but if we have only Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) or only Autism perspective, we are stuck where we are so she is pushing for one person she knows IN district to work with the independent one.

Just sent off an email with revisions for the sig. change form....it was worded as if he was acting out sexually instead of just blurting words out. Also implied that if they wanted him moved to a level 4 setting, that I was ok with it as long as it was in the beginning of a school year (NOT).

They found the lost Occupational Therapist (OT) report I gave them, sigh...

They cleared the class for his sitting down and doing nothing.

ummmm....

here are the links to the most common things.... a few are buried in the middle of other issues, sorry... I am overwhelmed and if it is a small thing I just talk at the moment...

http://www.conductdisorders.com/community/threads/guess-what-q-got-in-trouble-for-today.44778/

http://www.conductdisorders.com/com...-always-whine-about-the-yucky-mornings.44823/

http://www.conductdisorders.com/com...self-following-school-mtg-this-morning.44827/
 
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