Holy Moley!

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by klmno, Sep 8, 2009.

  1. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    difficult child just called and said he's in medication-lock (the area where sick and injured kids go). Apparently some kid plowed him in the head. This happened Sun. night and difficult child got such a "bump" on his head right away that they rushed him to the ER and gave him a cat scan. I'm glad to hear that they took it serious and rushed him to medical care, but it would have been nice if they'd let me know instead of my son having to wait 2 days to get to call and tell me himself. Geez.....I guess he's ok. He said he would tell me the details at the next visitation (they monitor the phones) and that he did not get a charge but the other kid did and the other kid was sent to lock-up, which is a more secure area. I hope they don't send that kid back to my son's unit. All difficult child said is that the kid jumped him in the shower Sun. night and did this and difficult child was laying into the kid when staff came in but somehow the staff knew that the other kid had started it and had already hit difficult child so that's why difficult child didn't get charged. I asked him if it had anything to do with a sexual approach and he said no but he'd tell me about it at visitation.

    I feel the warrior mom hairs standing on the back of my neck right now!
  2. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    How very scary! It does seem since he is underage it would make sense for them to tell you. Continued prayers for you and difficult child and gentle hugs too.
  3. ML

    ML Guest

    I'm so sorry this happened :( I'm glad he seems to be doing ok now. Big hugs to him. Please give him our board auntie love.
  4. nvts

    nvts Active Member

    This doesn't sound good - I don't like kids messing with one of our own!

    Keep us in the loop - I'm looking forward to your visit so he can talk to you privately.

    Got you in the prayers!

  5. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    OMG!!! I am glad they took it seriously, but geez, why didn't they tell you??

    I wonder if they didn't let you know so that they wouldn't have to deal with you at the hospital? Or maybe because they are concerned some parent will sue them for injuries sustained while in Department of Juvenile Justice custody?

    Be SURE you get a copy of the complete hospital records. You should be able to get a copy not just of the cat scan report but of the entire file. If he is on your medical insurance you may be able to get some of it from them. Otherwise the hospital may make you wait until he is back in your physical custody. But since you still have parental rights, they hopefully will not give you problems.

    I am just so relieved he seems ok. Let us know what happened when you can.
  6. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    difficult child just called again. He got to make a call tonight because they let him out of medication-lock today. His behavior counselor called today to tell me that the incident happened. (No rush on that I guess.:faint:)

    So I got more details on what happened. difficult child is not in a gang but apparently a gang member was "ordered" to jump difficult child in order to try to move up in the ranks. They really have a major gang problem there. Anyway, the guy hit difficult child in the face, just above his eye, and then slammed his face into a wall in the showers. difficult child blacked out, then came to and layed into the guy until staff pulled difficult child off and threw him against a wall. Fortunately, the staff knew that difficult child was jumped by a gang member so the guy was ordered a min. of 30 days in special lock-up and was the one charged. difficult child's eye did not respond to the little flashlight when he was being checked by a nurse that night so that's when they took him to the ER. He said he has a pretty major black eye but is ok, other than some head aches. I told him to make sure that he reports this to the medication staff and any other change- like worse eyesight (he already wears glasses).

    difficult child said the boy who did this had already hit another boy in lock-up. It sounds like maybe we don't need to worry about the other boy coming back to difficult child's unit at some point- I think he might be too stupid to ever get himself out of trouble. But difficult child said there had been about 7 gang related fights this week and they are considering it a war between two gangs from different area codes in our state now. I'm really hoping that difficult child stays out of this and doesn't try to retaliate by joining one of these gangs to fight against the one that caused this incident.

    He's writing a letter to the director of the place to request a release one month earlier. He says it is very rare, but possible. They are crowded and budget cuts just forced at least one Department of Juvenile Justice facility to close so some of those boys will be moved to the facility difficult child is in. That might spur a few early releases and he's got about the best behavior record of anyone in there. I guess we'll see. The school loves him and the staff on his unit say they never have a problem with him- he just needs put in his place occasionally- I figure that's to be expected, especially from my difficult child. His behavior counselor used to be the one that sounded hardest on him but today she told me that he's doing great for her. She's considered his CM in there and makes determinations for most things pertaining to difficult child and she leads the anger management course that he's required to complete. (She's not a mental health person, he has another therapist for therapy.) But, if the director was willing to consider a five month early release instead of a four-month which was listed for good behavior, I'm sure she would check with all these "heads" of the different areas. Please keep fingers crossed on this. Even if difficult child doesn't come home, it would be nice if he got out a few days before his b-day instead of a month after it and 2 months after Christmas.

    I know it's unlikely he'll get it approved. I read meeting minutes from previous General Assembly meetings and a few agencies were requesting and suggesting that inmates, particularly juveniles, be allowed a little more early-release time (if they've had good behavior) due to budget issues and the ineffectiveness of keeping them longer and due to the damage it does on the family unit to keep them incarcerated, but the General Assembly refused it and said No. However, difficult child was not committed for a time determined by the judge, which is an option here, he was committed with Department of Juvenile Justice choosing how long to keep him. So who knows. There is a big disagreement though between these reps from various agencies about things like "the juvenile needs to detach from the family" vs "detachment for young offenders does more damage and increases likelihood of re-offending".
    Last edited: Sep 9, 2009
  7. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    klmno -

    I am so sorry that this happened to one of our kids. grrrrr. Makes me furious. As far as them not calling you right away? Unfortunately Mom, this is typical. When Dude tried to hang himself I didn't find out about it for 2 days. When I did - and I asked if they had put him on Zoloft after I TOLD them he couldn't be on Zoloft his caseworker just acted nonchalant about the entire ordeal as if I told her the sky was blue, grass was green and that was that.

    How much longer does he have there? Ugh. :mad:
  8. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    He was committed in March (2009) and given a sentence of 15 to 21 months by Department of Juvenile Justice, with the possibility of a 4 month early release for good behavior. They would only keep him 21 mos if he refused to do his anger management course, but he's not refusing- he's doing it well apparently. Then, due to his good behavior, he's set to get the 4 month early release (Mom knocks on wood here) so that would be mid-Feb. That isn't too bad- our sd's start the second half of the school year right around that time. Still, difficult child has been locked up since Feb. 2 (awaiting trial and them committing him to psychiatric hospital for 6 weeks), so if he got out mid-Jan, I can't see that it would be any less effective than holding him another month.

    The kid that is in for murdering his grandmother at 14yo was given an enormous amount of time (justifiably so) to start out with but he has been such a model that every couple of years when he goes before some sort of review board, he has gotten them to knock off years from his overall sentence so he expects to get released in his 20's or 30's now (he is currently 18yo). I figure if they are knocking time off for him, they might knock one more month off for difficult child- he is 14 yo right now.

    As far as them not telling me, as it turned out it's ok. But they had no way to know it would turn out this way. What if a kid does end up dieing? If they let the parent know that they are in route to the ER as soon as a situation happens, at least the parent has a chance of getting there and seeing their kid before they die. And Department of Juvenile Justice or not, if my kid was dieing in the ER due to an incident that happened at Department of Juvenile Justice, I'd plow over who ever to get to him and see him. Their Department of Juvenile Justice guards might have to shoot me to stop me.

    A little Occupational Therapist (OT): I found a card to send difficult child - it says "In the midst of change, we often discover wings we never knew we had. You may not be where you want to be yet, but you will get there. Your brave heart and strong spirit will prevail."
    Last edited: Sep 9, 2009
  9. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    There is a huge case trying to be overturned here - Christopher Pittman. You can google it if you want to read an interesting case.

    The boy had a horrible upbringing. At 12 years old he went to live with his grandparents after being molested by one of his mom's boyfriend's. The grandparents took him to a doctor that put him on Zoloft. He claims he heard voices that told him to shoot his grandparents with a shotgun and burn the house. Then he took off in their SUV, got it stuck on a back road. A man came by and got him unstuck. He went to a friends house to play video games. The sheriff found him and took him in for questioning. He lied and said he had no idea what happened, then changed his story and said the voices told him to do it.

    They held him in jail from 12 - 16 then gave him a trial as an adult. They found him guilty and sentenced him to prison until he is 42. He's been a model prisoner. The supreme court denied his appeal.

    Everyone here is torn about letting him out early. Some say - No voices he is a killer. Some say - could be voices - just a sad kid with a bad past, poor choices - let him out.

    I say he had no life up to 12 - but to get out at 42 for murdering his grandparents is very lucky that he didn't get 2 life sentences. I think however for what his Mother did to him - she should have gotten life, but bad parents NEVER have to pay. :(