Holy Moly Help!

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by earthprowler, Mar 20, 2009.

  1. earthprowler

    earthprowler New Member

    My husband and i are both at our entire wits end. difficult child is now almost 9 and i haven't posted in a while. He's ADHD/bipolar/ODD with conduct disorder and plain stubborn.

    We've had an IEP in the past, worth the paper it was written on, they did work with it for a while but after the end of 2nd grade, they never updated it in 3rd. Then came the BIP, again worthless as the paper it was typed on. Then the FBA........same thing. All of these things and the school still refused to learn about any of his disorders or how to work with him, suspend him, segragate him from the other kids so he wouldn't say bad things to them or touch them by taking him out of gym class, sending him to other rooms to do his work, writing referal after referal after referal (which they sent home with him and of course we never saw half of them). He was suspended last October for exposing himself, we're still not sure where that came from or why he did it. Between October and the beginning of March this year we had CPS called on us 7 times and even they were getting annoyed with the school because they were calling on behavioral problems and not abuse or neglect. Again in Feburary difficult child asked 3 little girls to **** his........you fill in the blanks. We were horrified most definitely. We were also very angry that we didn't find out about any of this until the end of the day, that he was on his way home with a referral and he was suspended. And questioned by a police officer with a "neutral" teacher pulled instead of letting us either know or be there. We finally had a meeting to get him back into the school and there were several routes we could take but my husband wanted him out of that school (as did i) so we went straight into a case conference that we weren't planning on having so none of the big wigs from the school weren't there. so i guess it was a they wanted it and we wanted it thing for him to be out of the school and they would bus him somewhere else *cringe* (he does not do well on busses and has already gottend in trouble). They held him in the principals office for what was to be a week to get things set up to transfer him. He took his istep in the mean time and chewed a chunk out of it, the principal was at his wits end by the end of the week. they ended up messing up, he was to go to a different school than what was planned, i made arrangements to send him to the first school any way and no one in the school district talked to each other and it was a hairy mess. but we got it straighteded out. 4 days into his new school which is set up for his kind of problems and he's in trouble already, sent to the principals office even!!! even telling other kids that God is raping their mother. we don't talk like this and i don't know where he gets it!!!!!!!!!!!!

    sorry about babbling.
  2. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Well, that is alot going on. I hope you are taking care of YOU!

    Is he seeing a therapist? What is the plan to help with his hypersexuality?
  3. earthprowler

    earthprowler New Member

    i keep telling every one that he is hypersexual and i can't get anyone to listen to me, when ever i tell them this, it's like it goes right over their heads. the words that he comes up with are things he makes up or off the top of his head.

    and yes thank you, i am taking care of me........after i had a nervous breakdown in between all of this!!!
  4. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Hypersexuality is a common problem with Bipolar. They should know that!
  5. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    Wow, I'm sorry it's such a chaotic mess right now. That's rough on everyone, including difficult child.

    I don't know who diagnosis'd him or is managing his medications, but knowing what I now know about bipolar and how many kids with it react to ADHD medications, I'd be inclined to drop the stimulant completely and focus on getting him stabilized with medications for bipolar. The Depakote alone is obviously NOT controlling his hypersexuality and other impulses. He may need a different mood stabilizer, or a combination of them, or an atypical-antipsychotic, or a combination of that and a mood stabilizer. A qualified psychiatrist (with experience dealing with bipolar kids) is really the only one that's going to be able to help you sort this out. And believe it or not, the manic hyperactivity and distractability can look A LOT like ADHD. We've experienced this with my difficult child 2. He had some hypersexuality going on before he was stabilized, albeit not to the degree that your difficult child is experiencing, but it was abnormal nonetheless.

    As for where he's getting the ideas for the comments he's making, who knows? He could have heard it on TV, older kids, it's anybody's guess. I think what's important to focus on is helping him to stop, because right now he obviously can't -- he's not stable.

    It can take several years to finally get medications right. We've been dealing with issues with difficult child 2 for eight years, and the first six we didn't realize the true nature of his illness because his symptoms were changing. Now that he's been on the right class of medication, it's taken two more years to finally get him to a relatively stable place. And he still has room for improvement/tweaking.

    Do you have an appointment soon with his medication manager (whomever that is)? If not, I'd be on the phone right away with an update and a request for him to be seen.

    Hope you get some answers soon!
  6. earthprowler

    earthprowler New Member

    two years ago i took him to a neurologist by mistake which turned out to be a good thing. she tested him and diagnosed him with the mood disorder, ADHD, anxiety, depression and a mess of other things. Then i found what I was told was the "Best Psychiatrist in town"........not. he put difficult child in the behavioral hospital twice, no big deal, difficult child LIKED it there. he'll go back if you mention it. we went to that psychiatrist for not quite a year because you saw him once a month for 10 minutes if you were lucky. then we found our second psychiatrist or what i thought was the psychiatrist and until recently found out was actually the psychologist!!!!!!!!!! the psychiatrist is his dad. you go to therapy which difficult child was doing every other week for 6 months now and if they deem it necesary they will tell the doctor that his medications need tweeked. he hasn't seen the psychologist (who has no idea how to tell if a child is bipolar or ODD because i asked)since last August because you talk to him through the counselor which i wasn't aware of. i'm planning on switching, i just don't know where in the heck to go right now.
  7. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    Have you tried your nearest children's hospital for a referral? That might be a good place to start. A teaching hospital is another good alternative -- usually connected to a university.
  8. trinityroyal

    trinityroyal Well-Known Member

    Earthprowler, I was also going to mention the medications.

    Stims and bipolar are often a very bad combination. And 75 mg of Concerta is an awfully high dose, esp. for a 7 year old.

    I agree with GCVMOM that a teaching or children's hospital might be a good start. If you can arrange for a neuropsychologist evaluation, that might pinpoint further dxes, or clarify what's going on with your difficult child.

    If you can get the bipolar stabilized, then it might become easier to deal with the other issues your difficult child is facing.

    I too hope you get some answers soon.

  9. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    I was actually just talking about the hypersexuality with K's psychiatrist on Wednesday.

    If it is documented with an actual psychiatrist it really helps you when and if something goes awry.
    She was talking about how SD's are pressing charges for much more innocent things nowadays and our kids need to be protected.
    One of the only real ways to have proof of a history that it is linked to difficult child's disorder is through a psychiatrist. At least this is a pretty hard to dispute case.

    We were talking about this because K has been doing a lot of hypersexual things and her psychiatrist wants to document all of it just in case.