Home from summer visitation with ex

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Babbs, Aug 15, 2009.

  1. Babbs

    Babbs New Member

    So difficult child got home today from his 7 week summer visitation with his dad. difficult child turned 9 on Sunday (it sucks, I never will ever get him on his birthday according to our custody agreement - but I'm the evil one of the ex's according to his dad). So difficult child comes bounding down the ramp from the airplane with a harried looking flight attendant hot on his heels. She was rolling her eyes and huffing - ut oh not a good sign I thought. While SO corraled difficult child I got my id out and signed the paperwork for the unaccompanied minor - apparently for the first time in 4 years of traveling by himself difficult child got himself into trouble. He spent most of the 2 hour flight harrassing and teasing a girl seated next to him, not following safety directions, and being a borderline distrubance. Not good. <sigh>

    Get difficult child on the escalator down the ramp to get into the tram to get to baggage claim. Oh, he apparently doesn't remember that you don't stick your fingers in the sides of a moving escalator. <sigh> Got to baggage claim without dismemberment somehow - and oh, apparently you aren't supposed to stick your fingers in the moving belt that is carrying the luggage. <sigh> Somehow actually got him in the car without dismemberment happening at all.

    difficult child complained that he was hungry - apparently his dad didn't feed him lunch before the flight, so we stopped at a restaurant for an early dinner (4pm) for a belated birthday treat. I've never seen difficult child not follow basic directions in his favorite restaurant before - he got up, was running up and down the aisles of tables, scooting his chair away from the table into the pathway, grabbing things out of my hands and SO's hands... Soooo glad it was before dinner rush.

    Got difficult child home, looked through his suitcase. Apparently ex (who insists that difficult child isn't AD/HD with-Aseperger's tendencies and that I have Munchausen's by proxy) in order to skate the letter of medical necessity for difficult child's medications got a doctor to halve his Vvyanse (difficult child's supposed to be on 50mg, he's been taking 20mg for the past month) and stopped his Prozac completely (which is for his anxiety). No wonder the kid's bouncing around like Tigger on speed!!!

    Luckily I have a week's worth of medications (correct dosage) left from before visitation that I can start difficult child on until we get to psychiatrist's on Friday. But now I have to figure out how to politely write the letter to ex about "if you don't give him his correct dosage and difficult child is no longer able to fly as an unescorted minor, I'm not paying for the additional adult fare every visition" without blowing my top.

    Once we realized how bad it was I asked difficult child how his brain was feeling. "The woodpeckers having been flying around my head" he said. difficult child hasn't told his dad how he feels when the medications aren't there or aren't strong enough - how do I get my son to communicate how it feels inside to his dad to help him get what he needs during his visitations?

    Thankfully SO is awesome - he setup a pup tent in the living room, gave difficult child his melatonin, and they're having a cuddle sleep out for the first night home. Ahhh, finally bliss...
  2. Fran

    Fran Former desparate mom

    Pretty harrowing.
    I can't imagine messing with medications and I live with difficult child everyday let alone doing it when I only see him occasionally. Doesn't seem safe or in child's best interest.
    I imagine you can legally force ex to give medications as prescribed. It's a tough call. Dad is parent too. What a hassle.

    If it's any consolation, I met a woman who had 2 children on a flight from m i l's house to home where the pilot called her and told her they didn't know what to do with her two children. He called 3 times and finally said these kids could not fly on this airline unescorted again. I'm not sure how true the story is but I would have died if the pilot of the plane where my children were in called me. Who was flying the plane? On the other hand, how bad was my child that the pilot called. Not that it makes it easier but just wanted to share that little tidbit.