Updating on my difficult child 2 who has been home for three weeks from a six-week diagnostic program at an Residential Treatment Center (RTC). The facility recommended that he go directly to another Residential Treatment Center (RTC), that he wasn't ready to come home yet. In a moment of weakness I gave in to his dad's desire to bring him home and place him in a private day school, away from his druggie public school friends, have him work part time and attend substance abuse counseling as well as psychotherapy (he is unmedicated for Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) and Dysthymia). We foolishly thought we could keep an eye on him 24/7 but it's much harder to do in real life, and I have the luxury of not working outside the home right now. I've learned that he has smoked weed at least once since he's been home, he violated his curfew one night and refused to go to his old high school one day last week to take the 10th grade NCLB test (his district is supposed to set up tutoring while they figure out where to place him out of district). I feel foolish and ineffective as a parent, and although I'd like to place the blame squarely on ex-husband's shoulders (he has access to money and I don't), we share joint legal custody (son lives with dad two miles from me) and I could have at least thrown a hissy fit and demanded that he stay at the Residential Treatment Center (RTC). But I felt sorry for how lonely and sad my son sounded every time I called or visited. He begged us at every opportunity to come home, promised us everything, and he still tells us he doesn't want to fall back into his old ways, but when he doesn't feel like getting out of bed, he doesn't. He lies. He meets with his PO Monday (I keep her informed of what is going on) and he may end up going back on the ankle bracelet, which leads to juvie. We have an IEP meeting Wednesday with the school district to figure out an educational placement if he doesn't go to juvie. We brought him to an expensive college prep high school that is a 45 min. drive each way (no transport provided, dad and I would have to drive him) for an interview and to spend a day shadowing a student, and he seems to want to go there, but I have to ask myself, what's the point if he is just going to give us the same old b.s.? I think if I were a stranger looking at my son and his relationship with us, I would be saying, 'what are those parents thinking? This kid has been running the show for years and they're still letting him get away with it. Let him go to an Residential Treatment Center (RTC), or juvie, or make him get a job if he won't go to school.' I feel like my life has been on hold for so long trying to get enough peace and stability so that I can do things for myself and my family, like going back to work after being home for 18 years, or taking care of all those nuisance home repair jobs, or tidying up my yard, just generally making an attractive home for my kids and me. This is probably why I have so little energy; I feel really drained. Let's hope that this week we get some structure into our son's life. He hasn't been in a classroom (except for the tryout) for three weeks and he's unraveling. The fact that it's our fault just makes it hurt worse.