Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Homeless 46 year old daughter and a son in jail
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Weary Mother" data-source="post: 695658" data-attributes="member: 20487"><p>Thanks for all the reply's. I want to update the situation here and try not to make it a long drawn out post, but these things seem to always be drawn out and full of drama which again upsets me to have to live through. The reason my daughter was asked to move so soon, after just starting her new job and not getting a full paycheck yet, is it is perceived that she is not trying to move forward, and the people giving her shelter are in a one bedroom, so she is couch surfing, truly not a good situation but many here have had adult children couch surf for years. But in her case, she has no phone, no vehicle (needs a part repaired) and no credit to get a regular apartment. So, I was told that she seemed to be allowing others to make all the efforts, to find an apartment, to make calls, etc. They found a small apartment for her, rented it, and she is to move in next week I am told. she is unhappy and feels forced into this, but is resigned to do it because she has no choice. I truly feel bad for her and worry about her being there alone with nothing in the apartment, tough situation but I know it is not as bad as she is portraying. I see that she is in a major depression, which as we all know can be deadly. So I am watchful, but from this distance can only try to give moral support, which she turns on me when I try to encourage her because she is basically angry and does not want help, she just wants what ever she feels at the moment will make her feel better and does not want people telling her what she has to do. She says she is taking anxiety medications to sleep and that she feels no body really cares. I remind her of all the help given to her and then she gets angry saying that she is grateful but why does she have to say it every time she opens her mouth. I am my wits end. I do agree she is guilty of this type of poor me behavior. When I spoke to her at length last night, she cried and complained that others are unfair, asking her to do things before she is ready or able. She says she is depressed due to losing contact with her older daughter and the grandchildren, I understand that after having many other similar types of things happen but still.....she needs to move on. She cried saying that she was forced into moving into an apartment with no furniture, no tv and no body to visit her, alone all the time. We ended up having harsh words when in fact my intent was to be compassionate, I found myself being angry and telling her she needed to change her attitude, because I was being affected, which she said that she was aware since I tell her this a lot. I am not co signing for an apartment and since they found one for her and helped her pay the first months rent I dont have to, but sent the $150.00 for vehicle repair, no expectations on repayment, just the last bit of help I can give to get her able to fully take responsibility for herself. So, if she gets a phone she could be back to some normal, even though depressed and alone. Since she refuses any type of emotional help or contact with therapy, church or talking out things I told her that I could no longer help her because she is unwilling to help herself unless it agrees with her idea of help. I really do feel so bad that she is in this deep depression that as I told her, I am not a trained therapist and so will not cause more pain by attempting to reason with her. I am on my way now to a neurosurgeon and she is aware that I have been diagnosed with a large tarlov cyst on my sacrum, but at no time does she ever ask me how I am or any updates on my life. So, I will go to the appointment and see what is happening there and thanks again for all the support here, I am really a mess, and cried last night out of just pure being sick of all this.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Weary Mother, post: 695658, member: 20487"] Thanks for all the reply's. I want to update the situation here and try not to make it a long drawn out post, but these things seem to always be drawn out and full of drama which again upsets me to have to live through. The reason my daughter was asked to move so soon, after just starting her new job and not getting a full paycheck yet, is it is perceived that she is not trying to move forward, and the people giving her shelter are in a one bedroom, so she is couch surfing, truly not a good situation but many here have had adult children couch surf for years. But in her case, she has no phone, no vehicle (needs a part repaired) and no credit to get a regular apartment. So, I was told that she seemed to be allowing others to make all the efforts, to find an apartment, to make calls, etc. They found a small apartment for her, rented it, and she is to move in next week I am told. she is unhappy and feels forced into this, but is resigned to do it because she has no choice. I truly feel bad for her and worry about her being there alone with nothing in the apartment, tough situation but I know it is not as bad as she is portraying. I see that she is in a major depression, which as we all know can be deadly. So I am watchful, but from this distance can only try to give moral support, which she turns on me when I try to encourage her because she is basically angry and does not want help, she just wants what ever she feels at the moment will make her feel better and does not want people telling her what she has to do. She says she is taking anxiety medications to sleep and that she feels no body really cares. I remind her of all the help given to her and then she gets angry saying that she is grateful but why does she have to say it every time she opens her mouth. I am my wits end. I do agree she is guilty of this type of poor me behavior. When I spoke to her at length last night, she cried and complained that others are unfair, asking her to do things before she is ready or able. She says she is depressed due to losing contact with her older daughter and the grandchildren, I understand that after having many other similar types of things happen but still.....she needs to move on. She cried saying that she was forced into moving into an apartment with no furniture, no tv and no body to visit her, alone all the time. We ended up having harsh words when in fact my intent was to be compassionate, I found myself being angry and telling her she needed to change her attitude, because I was being affected, which she said that she was aware since I tell her this a lot. I am not co signing for an apartment and since they found one for her and helped her pay the first months rent I dont have to, but sent the $150.00 for vehicle repair, no expectations on repayment, just the last bit of help I can give to get her able to fully take responsibility for herself. So, if she gets a phone she could be back to some normal, even though depressed and alone. Since she refuses any type of emotional help or contact with therapy, church or talking out things I told her that I could no longer help her because she is unwilling to help herself unless it agrees with her idea of help. I really do feel so bad that she is in this deep depression that as I told her, I am not a trained therapist and so will not cause more pain by attempting to reason with her. I am on my way now to a neurosurgeon and she is aware that I have been diagnosed with a large tarlov cyst on my sacrum, but at no time does she ever ask me how I am or any updates on my life. So, I will go to the appointment and see what is happening there and thanks again for all the support here, I am really a mess, and cried last night out of just pure being sick of all this. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Homeless 46 year old daughter and a son in jail
Top