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Homeless 46 year old daughter and a son in jail
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<blockquote data-quote="Weary Mother" data-source="post: 697749" data-attributes="member: 20487"><p>Tanya,</p><p></p><p>I took advise, went camping last weekend. Unfortunately I became sick with bronchitis, which is unusual for me, I am normally very healthy. However it gave me a little time to reflect. I know many of us have been raised in a home where there was chaos, and I am one of those people. I said this before in this forum, but I do not know what it is like to have a life without major serious anxiety. From young up, I have had so many family crises, causing me to never relax. I thought about that over the weekend, and understand that I am advised to just go live my life, but how in the world do you know how to do that all of a sudden at this age? And I am also aware that I am at an age where I am worrying about social security and medicare and money just to keep myself from failing. I guess I am saying that this is a skill I never acquired and am trying to realize, and at times can manage to have moments where it can be ok, but not totally, there is always that feeling that the other shoe is going to drop. So being relaxed and not having the monkey on my back for very long is hard. I find it very painful to accept my childrens plight. On a good note, for now anyway, difficult daughter is doing ok and I think I am able to let go of her, and realize she will have to manage her own health and wellness. It seems my son is my major issue and I am working on the way I see him. I am trying to realize that when he gets out, there will be opportunities and help (? from where I don't know). I do tend to catastrophize and so imagine that he will again be on the streets, helpless and in danger. Why do we do this? Well, anyway I am working on these things and know that it is not productive to think like that. Old habits die hard.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Weary Mother, post: 697749, member: 20487"] Tanya, I took advise, went camping last weekend. Unfortunately I became sick with bronchitis, which is unusual for me, I am normally very healthy. However it gave me a little time to reflect. I know many of us have been raised in a home where there was chaos, and I am one of those people. I said this before in this forum, but I do not know what it is like to have a life without major serious anxiety. From young up, I have had so many family crises, causing me to never relax. I thought about that over the weekend, and understand that I am advised to just go live my life, but how in the world do you know how to do that all of a sudden at this age? And I am also aware that I am at an age where I am worrying about social security and medicare and money just to keep myself from failing. I guess I am saying that this is a skill I never acquired and am trying to realize, and at times can manage to have moments where it can be ok, but not totally, there is always that feeling that the other shoe is going to drop. So being relaxed and not having the monkey on my back for very long is hard. I find it very painful to accept my childrens plight. On a good note, for now anyway, difficult daughter is doing ok and I think I am able to let go of her, and realize she will have to manage her own health and wellness. It seems my son is my major issue and I am working on the way I see him. I am trying to realize that when he gets out, there will be opportunities and help (? from where I don't know). I do tend to catastrophize and so imagine that he will again be on the streets, helpless and in danger. Why do we do this? Well, anyway I am working on these things and know that it is not productive to think like that. Old habits die hard. [/QUOTE]
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Homeless 46 year old daughter and a son in jail
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