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Substance Abuse
Homeless son
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember1" data-source="post: 761322" data-attributes="member: 23706"><p>Hi there. I am so sorry about your son. It is hard for us too, but sometimes they have to leave our homes for good. My daughter can not come back and we don't try to help her anymore. She refuses to help herself and abuses us if we don't give her money or shelter. We already bought her a house and a mobile home (both did not work out) and paid for apartments that also did not work out...we are done. She lives in an.old.mobile home now across the country. She gets SSDI and other government help. We can't have her near us anymore or it will kill us.</p><p></p><p> Your son is old enough to take care of himself even if he has to get welfare, a food card and medicare/Medicare.</p><p></p><p> We got help from Nar Anon and a private therapist. In Nar Anon we learned that help doesn't help our kids and that they need to take care of themselves, even if they refuse to do a good job of it. They can choose to get help or not. We can't make them do it.</p><p></p><p> We need to take care of ourselves first. It felt selfish at first but makes so much sense now.</p><p></p><p> Also we learned that we can not change Kay or anyone else on earth except ourselves. Nobody has any power to change anybody except us. That's why our "help" doesn't help. Our kids need to want to change or they will NOT change even if we give them every dime we have. </p><p></p><p>I hope you seek out help from Nar Anon (it's online Zoom meetings now so look up the meeting times on the internet) or find yourself a good private therapist. in my opinion its too darn hard to decide what to do without experienced help. We deserve guidance and support. It is there for us.</p><p></p><p> If God is in your life, I was able to find great peace by giving my daughter over to God. He is powerful and will watch her better than I can. </p><p>This helps me.</p><p></p><p>Sending love and prayers.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember1, post: 761322, member: 23706"] Hi there. I am so sorry about your son. It is hard for us too, but sometimes they have to leave our homes for good. My daughter can not come back and we don't try to help her anymore. She refuses to help herself and abuses us if we don't give her money or shelter. We already bought her a house and a mobile home (both did not work out) and paid for apartments that also did not work out...we are done. She lives in an.old.mobile home now across the country. She gets SSDI and other government help. We can't have her near us anymore or it will kill us. Your son is old enough to take care of himself even if he has to get welfare, a food card and medicare/Medicare. We got help from Nar Anon and a private therapist. In Nar Anon we learned that help doesn't help our kids and that they need to take care of themselves, even if they refuse to do a good job of it. They can choose to get help or not. We can't make them do it. We need to take care of ourselves first. It felt selfish at first but makes so much sense now. Also we learned that we can not change Kay or anyone else on earth except ourselves. Nobody has any power to change anybody except us. That's why our "help" doesn't help. Our kids need to want to change or they will NOT change even if we give them every dime we have. I hope you seek out help from Nar Anon (it's online Zoom meetings now so look up the meeting times on the internet) or find yourself a good private therapist. in my opinion its too darn hard to decide what to do without experienced help. We deserve guidance and support. It is there for us. If God is in your life, I was able to find great peace by giving my daughter over to God. He is powerful and will watch her better than I can. This helps me. Sending love and prayers. [/QUOTE]
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