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<blockquote data-quote="JayPee" data-source="post: 748812" data-attributes="member: 23405"><p>Hi Lisa,</p><p>I have two sons that are homeless, and don't work. They blame me for "everything" and by that I mean anything and everything they don't want to do to care for themselves and still expect me to do for them at 30 yrs. old and 26 yrs. They believe I should provide shelter, food and handle all their problems when they don't even care for themselves. They both have had issues with drugs in the past and are verbally abusive when they don't get what they want. It is exhausting. I try to take it one day at a time and remember they are not children anymore and their perseption of what I should be doing for them and the reality are two different things. The real thing here is that I'm working on that piece too. They try to brainwash me into thinking that it's my responsibility as their Mom to take care of all these things and they do a very good job of it. It's like trying to get unstuck from the mud. I get one foot out and the other is still in. With each step it is harder and harder to move forward as you get worn down. The best suggestion I have had is to take care of myself and to get "stronger" for myself because they may never get better or improve their lives. I have worked hard all my life and I shouldn't have to feel miserable every day because of their poor choices. I have found some great books by Melody Beattie on "Enabling" that have helped me immensely to work my way out of these merkey waters. But it's a long journey. I wish you peace and healing.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="JayPee, post: 748812, member: 23405"] Hi Lisa, I have two sons that are homeless, and don't work. They blame me for "everything" and by that I mean anything and everything they don't want to do to care for themselves and still expect me to do for them at 30 yrs. old and 26 yrs. They believe I should provide shelter, food and handle all their problems when they don't even care for themselves. They both have had issues with drugs in the past and are verbally abusive when they don't get what they want. It is exhausting. I try to take it one day at a time and remember they are not children anymore and their perseption of what I should be doing for them and the reality are two different things. The real thing here is that I'm working on that piece too. They try to brainwash me into thinking that it's my responsibility as their Mom to take care of all these things and they do a very good job of it. It's like trying to get unstuck from the mud. I get one foot out and the other is still in. With each step it is harder and harder to move forward as you get worn down. The best suggestion I have had is to take care of myself and to get "stronger" for myself because they may never get better or improve their lives. I have worked hard all my life and I shouldn't have to feel miserable every day because of their poor choices. I have found some great books by Melody Beattie on "Enabling" that have helped me immensely to work my way out of these merkey waters. But it's a long journey. I wish you peace and healing. [/QUOTE]
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