you found her reaction interesting?? why? and how does he get that socialization piece than?? i dont' want her to go back. she's driving me nuts at home let me not lie to you yet i think academic wise her being home to do it is much better.
It was a gut reaction from me, Jena. It struck me as mature of her (in a way) to show some level of emotional self-awareness, even while expressing some fear too - I think she realises she's not emotionally ready to go back, yet knows she needs to work on her education. I do think stress has been a big factor in a lot of her problems, and (I could be wrong) I got the vibe that she seemed aware of the role school had been playing in her stress levels.
As far as other social options - we found a lot of benefit just from going shopping for groceries. difficult child 3 would come too and help me by finding stuff on the list, or at the check-out. As he got more confident I would send him to a different shop to buy one particular item. At first I would be in the background supervising, ready to rescue if necessary. For example, if he wanted a cheese roll for lunch, I could hand him a few coins and say, "Go choose your own." I might be at the same shop counter buying a loaf of bread, being served by a different shop assistant. He's gained more and more confidence interacting with shopkeepers, even to the point now of shopping around for the best price for something he wants to save up for. We've found that as he has gained confidence interacting with people in general, he has brought that back to his interactions with others of his own age, and he handles it a lot better. He needed examples of behaviours to copy, and too often the other kids around him were not setting good examples - they were either being mean to him, or ignoring him. But shopkeepers pay attention to you if you're a customer and it has taught him to pay attention to other people when he interacts.
I'm glad she's doing a lot better academically with home-bound. I'm not surprised though. She has a lot of drive and the capacity to really focus intently when she has to. This form of study is going to be teaching her to identify her weaker areas and actually dig in and solve the problems. Too often in mainstream, kids get away with avoiding the problems, trying to slide by. But you can't get away with that, with tutors. And learning to identify and resolve your weaker areas is a much-needed lifelong skill.
Try to not let your mother's words upset you. I think she was trying to say (perhaps in a hamfisted way) "You are a strong, compassionate person, especially considering how long you have struggled with this." Yes, it is an ongoing struggle, but as you know (and your mother probably doesn't get, since she doesn't live with it) the kind of struggle does change. These kids do make progress. OK, we end up with new problems to deal with, but the progress is what keeps us going. Your mother is worried about you, primarily.
Other kids her age being around would be good, but there are other options. You might well find some good contacts in a local home-schooling group. We've had that option here but not to a huge extent; difficult child 3 is not your daughter, it means less to him perhaps, to meet up with other home-scghooled kids. The library could be good in a lot of ways. The thing is, while she's home-bound, you and she are much more in control of social interactions. You have the option of leaving if an interaction is not working out to your liking. Being in control at such times has to be reassuring to someone with anxiety issues. It all works towards longer-term goals of increasing social contact on a broader scale.
HaoZi's idea about volunteering might be good. There are all sorts of opportunities she could help with. You could even manufacture volunteer options which could give her more social contact - one favourite of mine is to take the kid with tape recorder and a set of interview questions into an old folks home, and record some interviews with people. Once the interview subject gets talking, there can be some wonderful stories which she can then transcribe. The family members often love the chance to have a permanent record of such valuable memories. When you show the interview subject the printed notes it often triggers more discussion and gaps get filled in. Seriously - there is an entire career (lucrative on) waiting there potentially. Plus there are a lot of other ways to get out, meet people and feel useful.
Jena, it really does sound like she has turned a number of corners. That is to me, justification that you ARE doing the right things for her.
Marg
