I have homeschooled both Wiz and Jess, but not for the same reasons or at the same time. So far I have not homeschooled thank you. I don't seem to look at it the way many homeschoolers do. For us, we evaluate what is going on with each child and each school situation every year. If we are homeschooling we look at it every semester. We just look to see if what we are doing for school is working or not. Wiz was homeschooled for 3rd and 4th grades because the teachers were destroying him, actually drove him to try suicide because they told him that he wasn't really smart because he didn't get 100% on every paper. At the same time the2nd grade teacher was taking away his recess if anything that SHE wrote and handed out or sent home had a misspelled word. She had HIM checking her spelling and was punishing him for HER mistakes!! I looked at a paper she was sending home before he corrected it. There were errors in EVERY sentence and she was depending on a 2nd grade child to fix them instead of using a dictionary or the spell check on her computer. I was, to put it mildly, furious. We learned about all of this when Wiz made an attempt to kill himself. He was 7.
While I was homeschooling Wiz, Jess went to school for kindergarten. I managed to get her switched to another school and Jess LOVED it. Her teacher was what every kindergarten teacher should be, almost literally. The next year I did NOT send Jess back to school though. Near the end of kindergarten, two of the boys in her class managed to get the teacher and aide busy with a fight while two others pulled a girl into the coatroom (an alcove - the school was designed in the early 50's and each room had a coat room that couldn't be seen from the rest of the room). They molested her in the coat room. The girl was a friend of Jess's and in my Girl Scout troop - I hope to never see that expression on another child's face ever again. The four boys were relatives and clearly had been abused at home, but there was very little the school could do beyond suspending them. Our area had a Catholic school that did not offer kindergarten, so about 1/3 of the students would not be returning the next year. I was told by the teacher that the classes would be mostly boys and that there were four more boys related to the four in her room. There would only be 1 first grade class and it would be mostly boys - and it would NOT be a good place for my daughter. They predicted that more attacks would happen the next year. Apparently there were many CPS investigations and nothing was ever done to take the kids out of the home, so there was almost nothing the school could do beyond suspending them, largley because the boys in question were in kdg that year and would be in first grade the next. How do you deal with first graders who are sexually abusing classmates if they have to be allowed to come to school and the parents will not allow them to be in Special Education (in OH it requires parental consent for a child to be placedin Special Education and many many parents refuse, esp if their kids have problems because they are abusing them).
Teaching Jessie at home was NOT NOT NOT fun back in first grade. We ended up moving to OK in Nov of that year, and Jess was quickly enrolled in the local elem school - she loved it and everyone there loved her immediately. We also met with the principal and sp ed teacher at the end of the year and enrolled Wiz for the next school year, 5th grade for him. It was the BEST school year he ever had - mostly because he had an AMAZING teacher with AMAZING aides.
Wiz did really well the 2 years I homeschooled him. He and I would go out for dessert at the beginning of each semester (we tried to follow the school calendar because Jess was in school) and planned what we would study. He picked areas of interest like dinosaurs, ancient Egypt, etc... and I use these topics to teach the various subjects. The first year we had so many psychiatrist, therapist, other doctor appts that we mostly concentrated on that, and did schoolwork around that. For Wiz the emphasis was more on becoming a healthy person simply because we needed that foundation before academics really mattered. He was in 3rd grade and doing mostly 5th/6th grade work, except in spelling and reading where he did 12 grade plus work, so mostly I provided materials and opportunities for him to learn and followed his lead.
For a few years I had all the kids in school. It was pretty nice. Then Jess went to middle school. They were NOT willing to help us when the epilepsy was a problem in class, or when the medications made her sick as a dog and the doctor said it was the only option and she HAD to stay on them. She got through that, but it was not fun and learning was really hard when all she could handle was trying not to vomit and dealing with the headache caused by the medications at first. IT was frustrating but I was not going to pull her our for that. Then she started having bruises on her arms, her sides and her chest. She had a chest larger than mine by 6th grade and teh boys were groping her in the halls. She KNEW which ones, by name. We went to the office because she said she told her teachers and they all said that it didn't happen in their class so they couldn't help. I am not talking 1 or 2 bruises, which would be outrageous and should get action, I am talking 14 bruises at one time! We went to the office (which clearly sent a message that they did NOT want parents in the building - many parents complain about that each year.) and the principal, vice principal, and school resource officer (a cop stationed at the school) all told us that it was a shame, that she needed to avoid those boys, and that there was NOTHING they could do about it because the halls were too crowded and they couldn't control what happened in them during class changes!!!!! We pulled her out.
It was not easy. Jess LIKES school. We worked with various programs, textbooks, etc... and it has worked pretty well. She still wants to go back to school, but until she is healthy it isn't an option. Last year we did the online high school and she could only do 1 class so they won't let her enroll again. NONE of her docs would give us a note limiting her school work though they ALL said it was a miracle that she could do even 1 class. So she has Fs on her record for 5 classes. I cannot even get a letter this year, though the neuro promised one, that would let us do homebound school - which would have the district send tutors and materials to her and let her catch up with her friends.
There are a lot of homeschool groups around, esp if you live in a city. Some require that you sign a pledge to give your child a Christian educationHS families that never sent the kids to a formal school or only did so for high school. Generally their kids are very well educated and are very interesting people to interact with. HS kids are a LOT more accepting of differences because they are not limited to spending time only with kids their own age. They spend time, and learn, with kids of different ages, abilities, and are far more tolerant of differences and disabilities than other kids. That is my experience, and may or may not be true of other HS kids.
There are a LOT of options for school out there. Virtual schools are available, where everything is done online. You can buy curriculum packages from many programs. Some school districts offer online school for free, and there are online schools you can pay for. You can also create your own curriculum if you wish. Spend some time googling homeschool groups (Add your area), curriculum (put her grade level with this), homebound education (a program offered by the school district that you need documentation from the doctor to access), and homeschool laws in NY. For affordable and GOOD online classes, check out
www.kwiznet.com . They offer many grades and several subjects. You can purchase one or many subjects. Your child can do as many problems as needed (in math) to grasp the concept. We used it for 2 years and it worked very very well. We also used the reading one year and loved it. Those were the only things offered at that time, but they have expanded their offerings.
One of the things that is awesome about kwiznet is the price. Each class is just $15. It is as comprehensive as the online math offered by the school district, and has great explanations.
Traditional school is NOT for every child. there are some kids who just don't fit the mold and need other options. Homeschool or virtual school can be an excellent choice for those students, or for times when a student needs things that the school cannot offer. in my opinion part of your daughter's day should be spent working on handling anxiety. It is every bit as important as learning math or social studies. If difficult child cannot handle the anxiety that causes such pain for her, it is likely that algebra and other school subjects won't matter much because her brain may not even be able to remember them, or to access them after she learns them because the anxiety is so huge. There are anxiety workbooks for adults, they have all kinds of exercises to help handle anxiety. It might help to get one of them and adapt the techniques to what difficult child can handle.
It will take quite a bit of time to learn HOW to homeschool, to settle into the new routines, so be patient with difficult child and yourself. Use your instincts and intuition during this time. They will help you figure things out - a whole lot.
