BUT..............I think I am finally finding those bootstraps that I have been looking for!!! Thank god they are still there. I was beginning to wonder. I guess it was the Dr visit where she told me my cholesterol was out of control that started it. I already have hi-blood pressure, so I am not in a good heart category. It scared me, still does. So I had joined a gym the week before, good timing. I have worked out every day for last 5 days. Whew. It will take momentum to build up to where I want to - but just doing cardio every day has given me more energy. In particular I am love with their pool and swimming. OMG. Talk about a calorie burner - very cool. I am also doing weights, and walking.... Then there is the diet - low, low fat. I am OK with it - I am not really craving things which is good. I have been working on my new business' website and I am almost done. Yay. Now I just need to now start advertising. (Building a website is harder than I remembered, either that or I am just rusty.) I hope now, that there is a customer base here. My psychiatrist has switched me from Lexapro to Zoloft, which also seems to have given me a bit more energy. All in all, in the last 3 days I have started to see where things can be good again. Keeping my body crossed that this surge continues because of my life changes...it is this momentum that will carry me out of this depression and on with living a healthy life.