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Hope is the worst of evils
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 636230" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>I understand what you're saying Tryagain. I have had a very similar response to my daughter. I also have given up hope, for me, it turned out to be way to close to expectation which then left me disappointed every time. </p><p></p><p>I see what Cedar is saying about faith, I do have faith that we are all in the right place doing what we are supposed to be doing, even if it is not what I want.........however, the hope thing was a difficult component for me to let go of..........it came along with my acceptance of what is........and it made it a lot easier for me too. </p><p></p><p>The recognition that your daughter will have a degree of dependency on you or others because of her illness is another component of acceptance I think. I had to understand that as well, not that my daughter is dependent on me per say, but that her choices and the way she leads her life will bring about certain consequences for her each and every time and I had to learn to accept that as what is and that there is nothing I can do to alter that. For me, that realization went along with the giving up of hope and the acceptance of what is. It all went hand in hand and got simpler once that happened. </p><p></p><p>Not to say it's peachy and wonderful, it isn't, it just is what it is and accepting it as such, made my life a lot better.</p><p></p><p>My heart goes out to you Tryagain, the disappointments are intense and there are many..........we want so much for them to be okay........we hang on each and every upward cycle..........but difficult child's are so doomed to a different path then ours and it is so very hard to let go of our desires for them to be okay...........the hardest thing I've ever done...............sending you big hugs and warm wishes that today is a peaceful and gentle day for you.........</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 636230, member: 13542"] I understand what you're saying Tryagain. I have had a very similar response to my daughter. I also have given up hope, for me, it turned out to be way to close to expectation which then left me disappointed every time. I see what Cedar is saying about faith, I do have faith that we are all in the right place doing what we are supposed to be doing, even if it is not what I want.........however, the hope thing was a difficult component for me to let go of..........it came along with my acceptance of what is........and it made it a lot easier for me too. The recognition that your daughter will have a degree of dependency on you or others because of her illness is another component of acceptance I think. I had to understand that as well, not that my daughter is dependent on me per say, but that her choices and the way she leads her life will bring about certain consequences for her each and every time and I had to learn to accept that as what is and that there is nothing I can do to alter that. For me, that realization went along with the giving up of hope and the acceptance of what is. It all went hand in hand and got simpler once that happened. Not to say it's peachy and wonderful, it isn't, it just is what it is and accepting it as such, made my life a lot better. My heart goes out to you Tryagain, the disappointments are intense and there are many..........we want so much for them to be okay........we hang on each and every upward cycle..........but difficult child's are so doomed to a different path then ours and it is so very hard to let go of our desires for them to be okay...........the hardest thing I've ever done...............sending you big hugs and warm wishes that today is a peaceful and gentle day for you......... [/QUOTE]
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