So, as you know I have been at the bottom. I do not expect that to change overnight, nor do I expect this precise phase to have any permanency. However, tonight I once again felt hope. Just for a moment. It rained unexpectedly here for the first time, in a very long time. Even the honeysuckle posted it's little flowers upwards. And not one meterologist predicted it. I went to the doctor, and she told me to stop worrying about all of my hypertension symptoms and focus on relaxation. Surprisingly that is exactly what the doctor ordered. I feel better. And I decided to make "dinner", finally, after days of just eating whatever was in a can or in a package. I made my usual vegetable dish. difficult child talked to me for more than a minute. Geesh........he looks just like H. It is haunting. But yet, good. He does not look like his Dad, or me.......as he has grown older.........just H. Thank you guys for supporting me no matter what. Heather. Keep your hope.