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Hoping my visit isn't taking us all backwards
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<blockquote data-quote="Childofmine" data-source="post: 631166" data-attributes="member: 17542"><p>BG, you know what they say about fish and visitors....<img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/felttip/cool-little.png" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":cool-little:" title="cool-little :cool-little:" data-shortname=":cool-little:" /></p><p></p><p>Seriously, I agree with RE, practice your good boundaries even while you are there, and it's so easy to go back into old patterns. I do that when I go to my parents' house even now and they are 82 and I'm 57. The parent-child dynamic is hard to break.</p><p></p><p>But, you can do it by keeping things simple. </p><p></p><p>Like: Hey tomorrow I'm going to do a girls day all day, so I'll catch you with you for dinner. Have a great day, difficult child! </p><p></p><p>And then, make yourself absent, no matter where you go or what you do.</p><p></p><p>Set yourself a boundary for the rest of the visit, like I'm only going to connect with difficult child for breakfast, lunch or dinner every day, nothing more---just 1.5 hours of a visit. Let him do his thing, and you do your thing.</p><p></p><p>And...maybe 5 more days is too many? </p><p></p><p>I think his comment about getting soft is important to keep in mind. I know you love seeing him and easy child, but we want our kids to have their own lives and schedules and we just pop in for a bit on their day---not take up their whole day.</p><p></p><p>SO's parents are here. They got here Wednesday afternoon, flew in from IL, and aren't leaving until Monday afternoon. It's way too long a visit, quite frankly. His stepdad is on oxygen and basically can't do anything that requires more than 20 steps at a time. </p><p></p><p>They are driving him nuts. </p><p></p><p>Go do your thing, BG---make it a vacation for YOU, not just a visit-the-kids. </p><p></p><p>Warm hugs, keep sharing with us. Safe travels.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Childofmine, post: 631166, member: 17542"] BG, you know what they say about fish and visitors....:cool-little: Seriously, I agree with RE, practice your good boundaries even while you are there, and it's so easy to go back into old patterns. I do that when I go to my parents' house even now and they are 82 and I'm 57. The parent-child dynamic is hard to break. But, you can do it by keeping things simple. Like: Hey tomorrow I'm going to do a girls day all day, so I'll catch you with you for dinner. Have a great day, difficult child! And then, make yourself absent, no matter where you go or what you do. Set yourself a boundary for the rest of the visit, like I'm only going to connect with difficult child for breakfast, lunch or dinner every day, nothing more---just 1.5 hours of a visit. Let him do his thing, and you do your thing. And...maybe 5 more days is too many? I think his comment about getting soft is important to keep in mind. I know you love seeing him and easy child, but we want our kids to have their own lives and schedules and we just pop in for a bit on their day---not take up their whole day. SO's parents are here. They got here Wednesday afternoon, flew in from IL, and aren't leaving until Monday afternoon. It's way too long a visit, quite frankly. His stepdad is on oxygen and basically can't do anything that requires more than 20 steps at a time. They are driving him nuts. Go do your thing, BG---make it a vacation for YOU, not just a visit-the-kids. Warm hugs, keep sharing with us. Safe travels. [/QUOTE]
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Hoping my visit isn't taking us all backwards
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