Beta, You are moving in the right direction by taking care of yourself and visiting with your sister. This is great that you can see some "good" coming out of this not so good situation with your son. This is how we move out of focusing on our adult children. It feels selfish at first but it isn't. Also, meeting up with your other son will also bring you some healing and connection with family that you so need. I hope you have great visit. You know I wish the same thing too. It's funny in my mind when I read the posts I have envisioned the CD's voices and demeanor as they are posting. It's not intentional, just a perception from reading and listening of what I gather is going on at the "other end". Everyone has a different personality and diversity which just adds so much wealth of knowledge to what we are going through. It's invaluable.