Horrible update....UGH! Cursed schools!!!

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by ShakespeareMamaX, Nov 1, 2007.

  1. ShakespeareMamaX

    ShakespeareMamaX New Member

    To all of you that read my "On top of it all, I hit a deer, tonight..." post. I really did hit a deer that night. It was awful and the cops just stood there while it "bled out" rather than trying to bring it to a vet. I'd hate to see their reaction if it had been a person lying there. My children and I are OK. My car's another story, though. I need a new fender, headlight, blinker and grill. Who cares, though? It's just a car and it still drives. But the poor, poor deer. :frown:

    But that's besides the point.


    I can't take this mudda :censored2: school, ANYMORE!!!!!!!!!!!

    So...my difficult child's teacher calls me today. Yeah...my son hit a kid AND a teacher, today. SURPRISE!!!!

    That's fine (not), but I'll deal with him, later.

    The teacher tells me "so we had the S.A.T. meeting today".

    WHAT?!?!?!?! I was under the impression that's what the meeting was on Tuesday!

    Why was I not aware of this meeting?! Why was I not able to attend?!

    She says "oh, you didn't need to be there".

    *taking a moment to breathe*

    Ok...Ok...So...PLEASE...somebody tell me...

    Can my child's school have behavioral meetings about my son and create behavior plans without my knowing or right to attend?

    Also...get this...I dropped my difficult child's medications off on Tuesday and the nurse, has yet, to actually administer them to my child (supposed to be at 3pm, everyday).

    I just heard about CPAC (for the advocate). I wish they were open NOW so I could call them. I'm most definitely getting an advocate. I hope I get an angry man that will destroy the gym teacher principal!

    Mwahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :sword:
  2. tinamarie1

    tinamarie1 Member

    I am no expert, but I would think that is a definite no no that they had a behavioral meeting without your knowledge or consent. And why would they not want your input anyways? You are the one who knows him best and what works for him and doesn't.
    I am anxious to see what the more seasoned board members have to say. You get 'em mom.
  3. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    I'd ask about the SAT meeting over in Special Education forum. I'm sure they'll know.

    The only one I'm familiar with are IEPs.

    Poor deer. Why didn't they shoot the poor thing and put it out of it's misery??? I mean, sheesh! They do have GUNS, don't they know how to use them?? :grrr:

    husband hit a deer on the way to work, was lucky enough to flag down a sheriff. Deer was badly hurt but no where near dead. Sheriff was kind enough to shoot it. Then asked husband if he wanted it. lol husband says, "Uh...No. What am I gonna do with a deer carcass at work?" Animal control came and picked it up.

    Glad no people got hurt.

    As for the school, I'd say they'd be able to hear me screaming from my house if they dared to have a meeting about my kid and I wasn't present. :nonono:

  4. Hanging-On

    Hanging-On New Member

    I ditto everything Daisylover said.

    Then I stopped and thought a second, and difficult child's new school is doing the behavioral assessment with meetings off and on right now, and then in the middle of Nov they and "I" will meet to go over everything. I don't know if this is the same thing, but the only reason I'm calm and not going postal is because his Nuero-psychiatric (who I and my lawyer had named as the one who the school must follow (in addition to "MY" say so's), and she monitors EVERYTHING they do cause this SD has screwed with him so long. So she's my watch dog, and the expert "Heavy" standing behind me that they must follow). This is the only reason why I'm ok with them having their training, their assesstment meetings right now without me. Then when we go over everything I will be at that one.
  5. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    Sorry things stink for you right now!!! How awful about the poor deer, at least you were fine...

    SCHOOLS!!!! :grrr:
  6. pnuts

    pnuts New Member

    I am convinced that school administrators should have to spend a couple of hours per week reading boards like this one so that they can wake up to the real world!

  7. meowbunny

    meowbunny New Member

    My daughter's school had several SATs without my even being aware they had occurred. I found out when someone accidently slipped at an IEP. One of the things apparently discussed was whether my daughter qualified for an IEP. It was always determined that her behavior issues were deliberate and controllable and, thus, she did not qualify for any services. I didn't even know IEPs existed until she was in the 5th grade!

    Sadly, schools do a lot of things so they don't have to spend the money to help our children. I understand that physically challenged children's disabilities are highly visible. I also understand that developmentally delayed children need special attention. What I don't understand is that schools can't understand or don't care that a child who acts out doesn't do it be disliked, taunted and basically abused by classmates and teachers and needs as much help as other challenged children. (Sorry, just my own personal vent.)

    As to the deer, glad you're okay. I'm sorry it had to suffer. Something tells me that the officer in charge wasn't an animal lover and didn't want to spend the time and effort involved in the paperwork around use of a bullet in the line of duty. grrrrrrrr
  8. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    See what they say about the legality of this, in Special Education. I can't speak for the US, but I DO know that if they tried tis one on in Sydney they'd get into hot water. Doesn't stop them trying, though.

    A lot of this sort of stuff from the school comes from their lack of knowledge about what they SHOULD be doing. And from my experience - if there is a SENIUR staff member, deputy principal or higher, or school office secretary, who is seemingly an obstacle like this - then give up now and change schools. Because an attitude like that will poison the whole school - staff, students, the lot. You may have small successes such as calling you in for all meetings etc, but in the long run, you will be stymied and it is your child who suffers in the meantime.

    But for now - put EVERYTHING in writing. When you leave medications, include, IN WRITING, a list of exactly what it is, what the dosage is, who prescribed it and who it is for. And then in letters of fire, exactly when it is to be administered. I would also include a statement as to what will happen short-term and long-term if the medications are not given. Also include the phrase, "If you are unsure as to whether you can perform this duty, please let me know so alternative arrangements can be made to ensure this child is appropriately medicated. If I do not hear from you I will assume you are able to meet this child's medication needs."

    With ALL your letters, get used to using, "If I do not hear from you I will assume that you are in agreement with what I have written."

    Keep your letters short, unemotional and polite. But either hand-deliver them or send them registered mail with notice of receipt sent back to you, PLUS keep copies AND a diary of what you've written, when, and to whom. That way if they try to say they misunderstood, or they haven't got around to it yet, or they never knew about it you can point to the letter and say, "I have done my bit. You are a professional organisation holding the students up to high standards of personal responsibility, so I expect you to be yourselves meeting the same standards."

    At our schools the first day of the first three (out of four) school terms is a "pupil-free day" which is often used for giving staff access to new information, changes in regulations and curriculum and so forth. Often parents are invited to participate; however, few parents ever do. One year, back when easy child 2/difficult child 2 was just starting school under interesting circumstances (she was accelerated into school via new regulations which were, in part, written about her particular situation) I went along to the teachers day of learning about the new curriculum also coming in at the same time. The first school I went to was the city school which accepted easy child 2/difficult child 2's enrolment - we had a good time developing some teaching strategies according to the new material. I had the science background to help them, and also learned more about how this needs to be modified for kids of varying ages.
    Then I went to the same teacher education day at our local school (the one which didn't want easy child 2/difficult child 2). I was the only parent present and I was clearly an embarrassment for some. They also dealt with the topic of kids being skipped a grade or permitted early school entry, NOT at the workshop on the topic, but at a prior (teachers only) staff meeting from which I was definitely excluded. Nor was I supposed to know about it.
    In the morning we dealt with the new curriculum material and I wanted to share with them what the outcome had been at the city school. However, I was being avoided. One teacher finally came to me and said, "You say you've done this before - can you help me?" and she & I worked together well, she took all the stuff I already had and together we did even more. When we got back to the main group we'd done more than the others combined, thanks to my earlier experience (NOT my superior expertise - I never pretended to have that!). We really had accomplished a great deal and I was sorry they had locked me out so they couldn't pick my brains as well.
    Then the discussion switched to the early entry/enrichment regulations - this is where the hostility came out. And interestingly, the impulse control issues in the staff also showed - one teacher actually said, "Why are we wasting our time on this now? We decided it all before at the staff meeting, we're not accepting any gifted kids at this school next year." Other teachers said, "We don't have gifted students at this school."
    I actually asked, "When would you say you last had a gifted child at this school?"
    They answered, "I don't remember, some years, anyway."
    I replied, "easy child was a student here until a few months ago. She is classified as gifted. Your own school counsellor also identified this. How can you know what the standard will be for next year's enrolments?"

    My point - School 1 was open, welcoming and helpful. They didn't always get it right, but they always tried to do what they could.
    School 2 was almost the opposite. Reactionary, unfriendly, oppositional - they made advance decisions in secret and then tried to whitewash when the results were less than satisfactory.
    I tried to stay involved with School 2, it is the one where difficult child 3 eventually went (lack of alternatives, too) and even though I have no children there now, I STILL have stayed involved. They are polite to me, but I constantly get the vibe that many of them wish the earth would open and swallow me whole. The principal is a nice, kind man but he is weak and ruled by his staff. I took my kids out of there when it became clear that nothing I was getting put in place was being done properly, whenever anything went wrong it became an ar*e covering exercise instead of "let's fix it."
    A lot of mistakes made, were out of ignorance. But the same mistakes KEPT getting made, because they refused to learn and refused to change.

    And it's not just this school - there are others in our area very similar. Some local schools are brilliant; some are disasters. We've been associated with a number of them and talked to students and parents of more of them. In just about every case, I can tell you that at the 'good' schools, the ones which mightn't have all the answers but who at least TRY, the staff are all great (with maybe a few exceptions) but it is the leadership at senior staff level that sets the barometer. And the 'bad' schools - in every case, it was a really difficult, politically-motivated and reactionary deputy who controlled too much of how the school would handle a certain situation. There can be good teachers in these schools but due to senior staff attitudes, the problems are never fixed.

    When you meet a school like that, you COULD stick around and try to make some changes. But if you do, it is your child suffering in the meantime. I do feel it is best to consider the child's needs first and as a result, be prepared to make alternative arrangements.

    Just don't burn your bridges there until you are sure you can find a better alternative. The number of 'good' schools in our area is very small. Due to them being so good, they are often full and can't take more enrolments.
    Shop around. Talk to senior staff. Talk to other parents. Talk to other students. Consider home schooling (I certainly would, in your shoes).

    Whatever you do, do it well, meticulously and efficiently. And politely, even if you feel like throttling them collectively. But always keep in mind - what is best for my child?

    And I'm sorry about the deer - I know just how much damage they can do to a car. I've seen it for myself, with friends. We have an epidemic of deer in our area, they have a nasty habit of jumping out from the bush in front of the car, which is generally travelling at 80 kph at least (50 mph). And if the deer was bleeding out, it was probably already unconscious and not in pain.

    We've had rangers shoot a deer which was in our front yard, it had collapsed there with exhaustion because it had an earlier injury (from a feral pig, we think) which made it unable to eat or drink. The rangers shot it and took it away, poor thing.

    Want a recipe for venison?