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House Rules? Ideas needed
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<blockquote data-quote="ck1" data-source="post: 65379" data-attributes="member: 3767"><p>Thanks for your comments. This is a draft and consequences will be listed on the final document but are mentioned in the last paragraph. I'm thinking that for violations related to arguing, things like that, he'll need to go to his room for a cool down time. Maybe consequences should be written just under the rule, and for ones that I'm unable to come up with a direct consequence should be removed? Also, maybe I should add a section of privileges, for example phone and easy child time (he doesn't have any video games).</p><p></p><p>Mattsmum: those are great finds...thank you!</p><p></p><p>MrsCatintheHat: I think your ideas for a safe zone and appeal process is great. Maybe we could have him put appeal requests in writing so that he's able to get all of his thoughts in, also, if he's willing to write things down it must be important to him! The safe zone could be his room, as long as he's not destroying it (which he did recently, part of why he's not here) and I think we're going to buy him a punching bag, his idea, and we think it's good.</p><p></p><p>Janna: I agree, some of these are hard, but he's crossed too many lines that I never thought he would cross. Yes, he's gotten in trouble with drugs that's why we have the friend one in there. This one is tough for us though because we're not real sure who or where he was getting the drugs. Also, I think he was mostly using by himself, but I'm not real sure yet. Furthermore, he's always made pretty good choices with friends except for a few (obviously!). I can't control what happens once he's out somewhere, but I can limit who he lives the house with. </p><p></p><p>I probably need to clarify the daily check...I'm not a neat freak in any way and his bedroom and bathroom certainly don't need to be sparkling, I just want everything off the floor but not shoved in the closet. Hang up towels in the bathroom, put dirty clothes in the hamper, not the floor. It would probably be a very good idea to list out these expectations for him since it's not as bad as it sounds. I could put this in his bathroom, for example, like pick up towels clothes daily, wipe down surfaces once per week.</p><p></p><p>I know these are hard, he's not going to like any of them. However, his actions have made them necessary. Most likely, he won't be coming home any time soon because if he refuses to follow our rules, he can't be here. We are reasonable and may be able to find some common ground with him. Unfortunately, he was refusing before he even saw them because he wants everything to be his way. period. I think he knows that we will enforce them that's why he's refusing without even knowing what they are. That was Thursday, I haven't talked with him since.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="ck1, post: 65379, member: 3767"] Thanks for your comments. This is a draft and consequences will be listed on the final document but are mentioned in the last paragraph. I'm thinking that for violations related to arguing, things like that, he'll need to go to his room for a cool down time. Maybe consequences should be written just under the rule, and for ones that I'm unable to come up with a direct consequence should be removed? Also, maybe I should add a section of privileges, for example phone and easy child time (he doesn't have any video games). Mattsmum: those are great finds...thank you! MrsCatintheHat: I think your ideas for a safe zone and appeal process is great. Maybe we could have him put appeal requests in writing so that he's able to get all of his thoughts in, also, if he's willing to write things down it must be important to him! The safe zone could be his room, as long as he's not destroying it (which he did recently, part of why he's not here) and I think we're going to buy him a punching bag, his idea, and we think it's good. Janna: I agree, some of these are hard, but he's crossed too many lines that I never thought he would cross. Yes, he's gotten in trouble with drugs that's why we have the friend one in there. This one is tough for us though because we're not real sure who or where he was getting the drugs. Also, I think he was mostly using by himself, but I'm not real sure yet. Furthermore, he's always made pretty good choices with friends except for a few (obviously!). I can't control what happens once he's out somewhere, but I can limit who he lives the house with. I probably need to clarify the daily check...I'm not a neat freak in any way and his bedroom and bathroom certainly don't need to be sparkling, I just want everything off the floor but not shoved in the closet. Hang up towels in the bathroom, put dirty clothes in the hamper, not the floor. It would probably be a very good idea to list out these expectations for him since it's not as bad as it sounds. I could put this in his bathroom, for example, like pick up towels clothes daily, wipe down surfaces once per week. I know these are hard, he's not going to like any of them. However, his actions have made them necessary. Most likely, he won't be coming home any time soon because if he refuses to follow our rules, he can't be here. We are reasonable and may be able to find some common ground with him. Unfortunately, he was refusing before he even saw them because he wants everything to be his way. period. I think he knows that we will enforce them that's why he's refusing without even knowing what they are. That was Thursday, I haven't talked with him since. [/QUOTE]
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