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How am I supposed to do this???
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<blockquote data-quote="New Leaf" data-source="post: 674339" data-attributes="member: 19522"><p>This is what it feels like......when I am so distraught and overcome by this........</p><p></p><p>[MEDIA=youtube]cu7QvOQKcKk[/MEDIA]</p><p></p><p>I think the hardest part is <em>seeing</em> my daughter addicted and using, knowing the destructive behaviors.</p><p>I have gone from <strong>numb</strong> to <em>every depth of feeling. </em></p><p>I am bound by my memories of her when she was younger, so much promise.</p><p>I am bound by my love and desire for her to be well.</p><p></p><p></p><p>It is almost as if I do have to go outside of my body at times, to deal with the immense pain of it.</p><p>I am trying my best to be on the way to acceptance.</p><p>It is what it is.</p><p></p><p>And so I pray.</p><p>I listen to music that paints my feelings.</p><p>I cry</p><p>real.</p><p>I write.</p><p>I breathe.</p><p></p><p>I <em>have let go</em> of the notion that I can fix her, or it is my job to fix her,</p><p>or that she is broken because of something I have done.</p><p></p><p>Now, I have to learn how to let go of this emotional tether,</p><p>this internal response I go through,</p><p>when she comes around.</p><p></p><p>[MEDIA=youtube]VOkaVV-wtZE[/MEDIA]</p><p></p><p>I will feel what I have to feel, and then,</p><p>give that over to God.</p><p></p><p>I feel a little better now......</p><p>sigh</p><p>leafy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="New Leaf, post: 674339, member: 19522"] This is what it feels like......when I am so distraught and overcome by this........ [MEDIA=youtube]cu7QvOQKcKk[/MEDIA] I think the hardest part is [I]seeing[/I] my daughter addicted and using, knowing the destructive behaviors. I have gone from [B]numb[/B] to [I]every depth of feeling. [/I] I am bound by my memories of her when she was younger, so much promise. I am bound by my love and desire for her to be well. It is almost as if I do have to go outside of my body at times, to deal with the immense pain of it. I am trying my best to be on the way to acceptance. It is what it is. And so I pray. I listen to music that paints my feelings. I cry real. I write. I breathe. I [I]have let go[/I] of the notion that I can fix her, or it is my job to fix her, or that she is broken because of something I have done. Now, I have to learn how to let go of this emotional tether, this internal response I go through, when she comes around. [MEDIA=youtube]VOkaVV-wtZE[/MEDIA] I will feel what I have to feel, and then, give that over to God. I feel a little better now...... sigh leafy [/QUOTE]
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How am I supposed to do this???
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