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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 639487" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>My heart aches for you and I know how disappointing it is when this happens. Do not feel guilty or blame one another in a marriage. This is not your faults. Lenient parents have street kids. Strict parents have street kids. Religious parents have street kids. Atheists have street kids. There is no particular pattern as you will learn on this board. The best advice I can give you is to stick by your spouse...he is the one who will be with you in the end. Our kids leave us, even if they don't end up on the streets...</p><p></p><p>It is such a hard path for parents to walk. One thing for sure..as you said, you did not teach him these things. He chose them. And after age 18, we can't legally do anything to stop their choices. I have found that there are a few continuing themes with homeless young adults.</p><p></p><p>The most common one seems to be drug use. Our adult children, with such a promising future, decide to hang around with druggies and get into illegal substances and some legal substances which are more dangerous than illegal ones. They are good at hiding it and often we think they are just smoking weed, but if they are so far gone that they are no longer wanting to live at home, they are usually (not always) hiding how bad it is. They know we would disapprove, maybe even call the cops, and they'd actually choose their drugs over a warm home. There is a large community of people of all ages living in the streets and in tents and in shelters (if they are willing to follow the shelter rules) and they help one another and give advice about getting food and other commodities to the other street people. Would I or you like to live this way? NO!!!! But many of our grown children choose it, for whatever reason.</p><p></p><p>Another reason can be chronic, severe mental illness, such as schizophrenia. Our system has no real support for those who are chronically mentally ill and often even loving families can not keep these adult chldren at home and they leave and wander the streets only to get arrested. I saw a very sad feature on the show "Lock Up" (which shows the justice system) and how it has taken over the role of mental health hospitals, since our state mental health hospitals were pretty much abolished. It is sadder than sad and, in my opinion, wrong.</p><p></p><p>Some adult children have personality disorders aned are dangerous, steal from us, even assault us. They probably have a hard time even getting along in the streets!</p><p></p><p>I would say those are the biggest reasons our adult children find themselves in the streets.</p><p></p><p>Although many bright, well-brought-up young adults are in the streets, so are kids who were brought up in poverty and abused and older people who are sick or alcoholic...there is no economic barrier to disturbance and no age limitations.</p><p></p><p>If you ever feel like "Talking" we are here. We are available 24/7, 365 days a year and we understand and care.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 639487, member: 1550"] My heart aches for you and I know how disappointing it is when this happens. Do not feel guilty or blame one another in a marriage. This is not your faults. Lenient parents have street kids. Strict parents have street kids. Religious parents have street kids. Atheists have street kids. There is no particular pattern as you will learn on this board. The best advice I can give you is to stick by your spouse...he is the one who will be with you in the end. Our kids leave us, even if they don't end up on the streets... It is such a hard path for parents to walk. One thing for sure..as you said, you did not teach him these things. He chose them. And after age 18, we can't legally do anything to stop their choices. I have found that there are a few continuing themes with homeless young adults. The most common one seems to be drug use. Our adult children, with such a promising future, decide to hang around with druggies and get into illegal substances and some legal substances which are more dangerous than illegal ones. They are good at hiding it and often we think they are just smoking weed, but if they are so far gone that they are no longer wanting to live at home, they are usually (not always) hiding how bad it is. They know we would disapprove, maybe even call the cops, and they'd actually choose their drugs over a warm home. There is a large community of people of all ages living in the streets and in tents and in shelters (if they are willing to follow the shelter rules) and they help one another and give advice about getting food and other commodities to the other street people. Would I or you like to live this way? NO!!!! But many of our grown children choose it, for whatever reason. Another reason can be chronic, severe mental illness, such as schizophrenia. Our system has no real support for those who are chronically mentally ill and often even loving families can not keep these adult chldren at home and they leave and wander the streets only to get arrested. I saw a very sad feature on the show "Lock Up" (which shows the justice system) and how it has taken over the role of mental health hospitals, since our state mental health hospitals were pretty much abolished. It is sadder than sad and, in my opinion, wrong. Some adult children have personality disorders aned are dangerous, steal from us, even assault us. They probably have a hard time even getting along in the streets! I would say those are the biggest reasons our adult children find themselves in the streets. Although many bright, well-brought-up young adults are in the streets, so are kids who were brought up in poverty and abused and older people who are sick or alcoholic...there is no economic barrier to disturbance and no age limitations. If you ever feel like "Talking" we are here. We are available 24/7, 365 days a year and we understand and care. [/QUOTE]
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