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How Can I Get difficult child to Understand that
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 56838" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>Jamie, we live with this constantly. We put it down to the autism factor. We've really worked hard to change it but nothing sticks. Absolutely nothing.</p><p></p><p>While we were away in NZ with easy child & BF1, we found we had some assistance in BF1. Whenever difficult child 3 said something 'random', BF1 would say, "What colour aerial did you order?"</p><p>difficult child 3 asked why BF1 was talking about aerials and BF1 explained, "It's a random comment. You made a random comment and I answered with another."</p><p></p><p>Since then we have begun to answer difficult child 3's random remarks (and yes, his are also about various intricacies of whichever computer game he has been thinking about) with references to aerials. We vary our response but include the word "aerial" and refer to ordering or buying one, or attaching one to the house. It's becoming a code for difficult child 3 to recognise that he's being 'random' again. And it's not just difficult child 3 who this is reserved for - ANYONE in the family making a random comment is copping it. For example, I know how husband thinks. We can be driving along, talking about schoolwork for the kids and as we're driving we might pass some beehives. husband, mid-conversation about schoolwork, might then mention something about his co-worker (who happens to keep bees). To anyone else, this is random. I know how he got to it, but it's not relevant to the specific conversation and the kids would begin to talk about aerials.</p><p></p><p>I'm hoping that with time and regular reference to aerials, difficult child 3 will learn to think before he speaks and to listen to ongoing conversations. he's a lot better than he used to be - not all of his responses are random now. Once, ALL of them were random, you couldn't hold any sort of conversation with him. Now, with time and practice listening to people, as well as being asked his opinion every so often to keep him in the conversation, we're getting more social appropriateness.</p><p></p><p>But you can't punish this - it just won't work. You have to handle this consistently but gently, with mild humour and a lot of love.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 56838, member: 1991"] Jamie, we live with this constantly. We put it down to the autism factor. We've really worked hard to change it but nothing sticks. Absolutely nothing. While we were away in NZ with easy child & BF1, we found we had some assistance in BF1. Whenever difficult child 3 said something 'random', BF1 would say, "What colour aerial did you order?" difficult child 3 asked why BF1 was talking about aerials and BF1 explained, "It's a random comment. You made a random comment and I answered with another." Since then we have begun to answer difficult child 3's random remarks (and yes, his are also about various intricacies of whichever computer game he has been thinking about) with references to aerials. We vary our response but include the word "aerial" and refer to ordering or buying one, or attaching one to the house. It's becoming a code for difficult child 3 to recognise that he's being 'random' again. And it's not just difficult child 3 who this is reserved for - ANYONE in the family making a random comment is copping it. For example, I know how husband thinks. We can be driving along, talking about schoolwork for the kids and as we're driving we might pass some beehives. husband, mid-conversation about schoolwork, might then mention something about his co-worker (who happens to keep bees). To anyone else, this is random. I know how he got to it, but it's not relevant to the specific conversation and the kids would begin to talk about aerials. I'm hoping that with time and regular reference to aerials, difficult child 3 will learn to think before he speaks and to listen to ongoing conversations. he's a lot better than he used to be - not all of his responses are random now. Once, ALL of them were random, you couldn't hold any sort of conversation with him. Now, with time and practice listening to people, as well as being asked his opinion every so often to keep him in the conversation, we're getting more social appropriateness. But you can't punish this - it just won't work. You have to handle this consistently but gently, with mild humour and a lot of love. Marg [/QUOTE]
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