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How Can I Get difficult child to Understand that
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 56976" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>It is true that you can also get this in ADHD, and it's difficult for me because our kids have a combined Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD)/ADHD diagnosis. Where does one stop and the other begin? I've also been told (not sure how much credit to give it) that ADHD is perhaps also on the Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) scale, right up one end, and that the ADHD signs in my kids are more part of the Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) that they also have.</p><p></p><p>With the noises - we've given up trying to stop them. It's a stimulant, in my opinion. They do change with time as the child himself tries to change, but if you suppress one, another will emerge. You just have to decide which is more acceptable - a quiet growl in the throat, or a loud sniff, or the sounds of the Battle of Britain being reenacted (THAT was difficult child 1, on a long car trip!).</p><p></p><p>Another one I've noticed - it doesn't just run in our family, it gallops - is the DESPERATE need to finish a sentence, even when what they're saying is no longer needed. For example, "Don't put that - (*crash*) - dish on the corner of the bench, it will fall off and smash."</p><p>Most of us would change what we were saying, adapting to what happened mid-sentence. "Don't put that - (*crash*) - OK, too late. You broke that dish because you didn't plan ahead." But in my family, some just can't do it - husband, easy child 2/difficult child 2 and difficult child 3. difficult child 1 isn't so bad with it. easy child & I don't do it, although I think I've now taken this characteristic on board as well, purely by long-term osmosis.</p><p></p><p>I've tried to change them over the years and I just can't. Trying to change this makes them angry and frustrated because they don't feel HEARD. husband especially hates people finishing his sentences for him or assuming they know what he's going to say. But from my point of view it can be frustrating, standing and waiting until he or easy child 2/difficult child 2 have finally finished what I knew they were going to say anyway, and meanwhile the pot is boiling over on the stove. It also means I have to work hard to both listen AND remember what I needed to say, because so often what they say also side-tracks from the topic and getting off topic is a BIG family problem. Hence BF1 being able to say to a number of us at various times, "What colour aerial were you planning to get? One with pink polka dots?"</p><p></p><p>I think one of the most frustrating things is having to listen to (or referee) a conversation between any of the three - husband, easy child 2/difficult child 2 or difficult child 3. I just want to bang their heads together sometimes.</p><p></p><p>And husband, I know you're reading this - I'm right, aren't I?</p><p></p><p><span style="color: #FF0000">Yes - Unfortunately</span></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 56976, member: 1991"] It is true that you can also get this in ADHD, and it's difficult for me because our kids have a combined Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD)/ADHD diagnosis. Where does one stop and the other begin? I've also been told (not sure how much credit to give it) that ADHD is perhaps also on the Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) scale, right up one end, and that the ADHD signs in my kids are more part of the Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) that they also have. With the noises - we've given up trying to stop them. It's a stimulant, in my opinion. They do change with time as the child himself tries to change, but if you suppress one, another will emerge. You just have to decide which is more acceptable - a quiet growl in the throat, or a loud sniff, or the sounds of the Battle of Britain being reenacted (THAT was difficult child 1, on a long car trip!). Another one I've noticed - it doesn't just run in our family, it gallops - is the DESPERATE need to finish a sentence, even when what they're saying is no longer needed. For example, "Don't put that - (*crash*) - dish on the corner of the bench, it will fall off and smash." Most of us would change what we were saying, adapting to what happened mid-sentence. "Don't put that - (*crash*) - OK, too late. You broke that dish because you didn't plan ahead." But in my family, some just can't do it - husband, easy child 2/difficult child 2 and difficult child 3. difficult child 1 isn't so bad with it. easy child & I don't do it, although I think I've now taken this characteristic on board as well, purely by long-term osmosis. I've tried to change them over the years and I just can't. Trying to change this makes them angry and frustrated because they don't feel HEARD. husband especially hates people finishing his sentences for him or assuming they know what he's going to say. But from my point of view it can be frustrating, standing and waiting until he or easy child 2/difficult child 2 have finally finished what I knew they were going to say anyway, and meanwhile the pot is boiling over on the stove. It also means I have to work hard to both listen AND remember what I needed to say, because so often what they say also side-tracks from the topic and getting off topic is a BIG family problem. Hence BF1 being able to say to a number of us at various times, "What colour aerial were you planning to get? One with pink polka dots?" I think one of the most frustrating things is having to listen to (or referee) a conversation between any of the three - husband, easy child 2/difficult child 2 or difficult child 3. I just want to bang their heads together sometimes. And husband, I know you're reading this - I'm right, aren't I? <span style="color: #FF0000">Yes - Unfortunately</span> Marg [/QUOTE]
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