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General Parenting
How can I leave my dysfunctional marriage?
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<blockquote data-quote="TiredSoul" data-source="post: 640750" data-attributes="member: 3930"><p>I am reading over these reply carefully. Thank you all. He is not physically abusive but definitely emotionally/psychologically. Of course he turns it around and blames me for everything. He will not go to counseling. He does not believe he is doing anything wrong. Whenever difficult child starts up he leaves. He left right before thanksgiving dinner and didnt come back until after the dishes were long done. It was just me, our 2 kids, and my mom. No regard for me slaving away to put a meal on the table. That was the second time he left that day. He also walked out yesterday when we were decorating the tree and then celebrating my mother's birthday. No regard for anyone but himself. </p><p></p><p>Oh but he "works", so his part is done. He blames me for all of difficult child's problems and says if I leave everything will be fine. I guess he thinks he can yell and beat him into compliance which we all know doesn't work for difficult child's. He is never going to change. I am never going to be able to sit down and have a conversation with him or come up with a plan. He won't talk to me. If I want to talk he thinks I'm trying to "run his life". He bitxhes about being starving when he comes home from work but he won't make himself a lunch. He bitxhes about walking to work in the rain but won't fix his truck so he can drive. He is like a CHILD. I am married to a child. </p><p></p><p>We are upside down in our house so I have no idea how we can get out of that. I'm sure I would get child support and alimony but he would fight me for the kids just to spite me and also because he got screwed over from his ex wife many years ago so he said he would never let that happen again. He wants to drive me crazy so I will leave because he knows whoever leaves usually gets the bad end of the deal. I would never leave my children though. I've tried to figure out a way to just deal with it but it definitely is not good for my children to see their father behave like this and it's teaching them to walk out. </p><p></p><p>We have one car so when he leaves for hours we don't have transportation. Wonder if I should cash out my 401k (8 of the 12 years of employment were before we were married) and rent an apt and move my kids out. Can he stop me? Can he stop my kids? So sick of being psychologically beat down and having him turn it all around and tell me I am the problem. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite3" alt=":(" title="Frown :(" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":(" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="TiredSoul, post: 640750, member: 3930"] I am reading over these reply carefully. Thank you all. He is not physically abusive but definitely emotionally/psychologically. Of course he turns it around and blames me for everything. He will not go to counseling. He does not believe he is doing anything wrong. Whenever difficult child starts up he leaves. He left right before thanksgiving dinner and didnt come back until after the dishes were long done. It was just me, our 2 kids, and my mom. No regard for me slaving away to put a meal on the table. That was the second time he left that day. He also walked out yesterday when we were decorating the tree and then celebrating my mother's birthday. No regard for anyone but himself. Oh but he "works", so his part is done. He blames me for all of difficult child's problems and says if I leave everything will be fine. I guess he thinks he can yell and beat him into compliance which we all know doesn't work for difficult child's. He is never going to change. I am never going to be able to sit down and have a conversation with him or come up with a plan. He won't talk to me. If I want to talk he thinks I'm trying to "run his life". He bitxhes about being starving when he comes home from work but he won't make himself a lunch. He bitxhes about walking to work in the rain but won't fix his truck so he can drive. He is like a CHILD. I am married to a child. We are upside down in our house so I have no idea how we can get out of that. I'm sure I would get child support and alimony but he would fight me for the kids just to spite me and also because he got screwed over from his ex wife many years ago so he said he would never let that happen again. He wants to drive me crazy so I will leave because he knows whoever leaves usually gets the bad end of the deal. I would never leave my children though. I've tried to figure out a way to just deal with it but it definitely is not good for my children to see their father behave like this and it's teaching them to walk out. We have one car so when he leaves for hours we don't have transportation. Wonder if I should cash out my 401k (8 of the 12 years of employment were before we were married) and rent an apt and move my kids out. Can he stop me? Can he stop my kids? So sick of being psychologically beat down and having him turn it all around and tell me I am the problem. :( [/QUOTE]
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