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"How can I screw my life up today?"
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 659873" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>So, Lil, what are you gonna do about it? He will work, Lil. He has already had at least two jobs, that I know about. He can apply for General Assistance and food stamps. He can work an hour or two to establish a new employer, and apply for Unemployment Insurance. He can do day labor. In a month he could enroll in school (always my favorite option, I am like a one trick pony) and get a work study job. He can make a life. Thousands of people come to this country each month with nothing, no English, no access to public benefits, and they make it. Yes, he can beg, but why go to worst case, Lil?</p><p></p><p>Do you have that little confidence in him?</p><p></p><p>I know it didn't have to be so hard for him. That makes it so much harder for us. We would have helped them and helped them. But they spit our help right back at us. They cannot do it our way.</p><p></p><p>And they give out clothing in the shelters. And there are meals all day at one place or another. There are all kinds of social services. Those that will work, are helped to find work. The worst thing that happened to my son, almost, was that stupid SSI. Before he got it, he worked. It's enough to turn me conservative. Not.</p><p></p><p>Lil, this is not about you. You have a son who needs to grow up. Keep your eye on the ball.</p><p></p><p>It's like Truman said, if you want a friend in Washington Difficult Child, get a dog. *I put Washington and the initials for District of Columbia. The computer changed it. How cute.</p><p></p><p>It's not his job to keep you content. His job is to grow up based upon his capacities and his limitations. Not yours. Not mine. Not Jabber's.</p><p></p><p>Lil, he may. But how many times has he already done this???</p><p></p><p>My son has called the cops on us half a dozen times with the intent of getting us thrown in jail. The last time he tackled M and gave him a black eye. Does anybody even remember it? No.</p><p></p><p>We all give each other so many chances it is not even funny. At the bottom of all of our stories (this cesspool of emotions) is great love. Your son has great love for you. But it can't be a child's love. It must become a man's.</p><p></p><p>Lil, you get inconsolable when you do not want to be consoled. Quit it.</p><p></p><p>No, this will not happen. He will feel thwarted. He will act angry. But deep inside he will be grateful. Because this is what he needs. He needs a clear, firm boundary so that he can do what he has to do. To grow up.</p><p>Now, you're talking. You better go to bed and rest up. So that you can get tough and centered. Because you're right. This will be our life for awhile,</p><p></p><p>Good night, Lil. Go to bed.</p><p></p><p>PS I don't know how to do it either, but I'm getting there. Just like you.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 659873, member: 18958"] So, Lil, what are you gonna do about it? He will work, Lil. He has already had at least two jobs, that I know about. He can apply for General Assistance and food stamps. He can work an hour or two to establish a new employer, and apply for Unemployment Insurance. He can do day labor. In a month he could enroll in school (always my favorite option, I am like a one trick pony) and get a work study job. He can make a life. Thousands of people come to this country each month with nothing, no English, no access to public benefits, and they make it. Yes, he can beg, but why go to worst case, Lil? Do you have that little confidence in him? I know it didn't have to be so hard for him. That makes it so much harder for us. We would have helped them and helped them. But they spit our help right back at us. They cannot do it our way. And they give out clothing in the shelters. And there are meals all day at one place or another. There are all kinds of social services. Those that will work, are helped to find work. The worst thing that happened to my son, almost, was that stupid SSI. Before he got it, he worked. It's enough to turn me conservative. Not. Lil, this is not about you. You have a son who needs to grow up. Keep your eye on the ball. It's like Truman said, if you want a friend in Washington Difficult Child, get a dog. *I put Washington and the initials for District of Columbia. The computer changed it. How cute. It's not his job to keep you content. His job is to grow up based upon his capacities and his limitations. Not yours. Not mine. Not Jabber's. Lil, he may. But how many times has he already done this??? My son has called the cops on us half a dozen times with the intent of getting us thrown in jail. The last time he tackled M and gave him a black eye. Does anybody even remember it? No. We all give each other so many chances it is not even funny. At the bottom of all of our stories (this cesspool of emotions) is great love. Your son has great love for you. But it can't be a child's love. It must become a man's. Lil, you get inconsolable when you do not want to be consoled. Quit it. No, this will not happen. He will feel thwarted. He will act angry. But deep inside he will be grateful. Because this is what he needs. He needs a clear, firm boundary so that he can do what he has to do. To grow up. Now, you're talking. You better go to bed and rest up. So that you can get tough and centered. Because you're right. This will be our life for awhile, Good night, Lil. Go to bed. PS I don't know how to do it either, but I'm getting there. Just like you. [/QUOTE]
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