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How can we help our son?
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 761258" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Please save these texts and document anything and everything, to make a paper trail. In my state I believe this would be both a felony crime and also grounds for involuntary hospitalization. More than this, it is scary. I would not assume this is just crazy talk. If he is indeed psychotic and angry although unlikely, he could act on it. I would take every violent and distorted thing he says seriously, in the sense that it is evidence to get him treatment and at minimum, to keep him away from the family. But most importantly, because there could be a kernel of truth in it.</p><p></p><p>There is a type of schizophrenia that can lead to violence against family members. I was told once by a mother on this site, that mothers can be the most likely target of violence. This is not something to minimize. Eventually this mother needed to get a long-term restraining order. But that was after many years of trying to care for him in her home. She could not face the reality, I think, until her life was at stake.</p><p></p><p>There are very many elements that are similar in our stories, and our sons' stories. More on that later, as I don't have much time now. My son is able to impress and charm the police too. They treat me like I am an idiot. </p><p></p><p>The last thing to do is to personalize this. You were a wonderful mother. You are a fabulous person. You just can't take to heart what he is saying.</p><p></p><p>As far as your son running out of money, that might be a good thing, because you might have leverage. He desperately needs detoxing, diagnosis, medication and treatment. </p><p></p><p>For many years I believed that the symptoms were marijuana-induced. Now I believe my son self-medicates, but the marijuana is less and less effective. I have no pat answers for you. I've been involved in this dance for more than 10 years. I have had no luck yet in getting my son to go along with treatment. I am triggered by my son too, because I grew up with abuse. It was only when I dissociated as he was pushing in my back door that I took seriously that I could not cope, that I had nothing left to give. But the thing is, we're mothers. It's impossible for me to not care and to not keep trying to think of ways that this could be turned around. It's unbearable to believe this will be our reality the rest of our lives. I am learning to bear the unbearable. </p><p></p><p>But first we need to be safe. I am glad you found us. I've been here 6 or 7 years or more, I've lost track. I don't know how I could have gone on without this community. Welcome.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 761258, member: 18958"] Please save these texts and document anything and everything, to make a paper trail. In my state I believe this would be both a felony crime and also grounds for involuntary hospitalization. More than this, it is scary. I would not assume this is just crazy talk. If he is indeed psychotic and angry although unlikely, he could act on it. I would take every violent and distorted thing he says seriously, in the sense that it is evidence to get him treatment and at minimum, to keep him away from the family. But most importantly, because there could be a kernel of truth in it. There is a type of schizophrenia that can lead to violence against family members. I was told once by a mother on this site, that mothers can be the most likely target of violence. This is not something to minimize. Eventually this mother needed to get a long-term restraining order. But that was after many years of trying to care for him in her home. She could not face the reality, I think, until her life was at stake. There are very many elements that are similar in our stories, and our sons' stories. More on that later, as I don't have much time now. My son is able to impress and charm the police too. They treat me like I am an idiot. The last thing to do is to personalize this. You were a wonderful mother. You are a fabulous person. You just can't take to heart what he is saying. As far as your son running out of money, that might be a good thing, because you might have leverage. He desperately needs detoxing, diagnosis, medication and treatment. For many years I believed that the symptoms were marijuana-induced. Now I believe my son self-medicates, but the marijuana is less and less effective. I have no pat answers for you. I've been involved in this dance for more than 10 years. I have had no luck yet in getting my son to go along with treatment. I am triggered by my son too, because I grew up with abuse. It was only when I dissociated as he was pushing in my back door that I took seriously that I could not cope, that I had nothing left to give. But the thing is, we're mothers. It's impossible for me to not care and to not keep trying to think of ways that this could be turned around. It's unbearable to believe this will be our reality the rest of our lives. I am learning to bear the unbearable. But first we need to be safe. I am glad you found us. I've been here 6 or 7 years or more, I've lost track. I don't know how I could have gone on without this community. Welcome. [/QUOTE]
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