So, another "what could I have done differently?" from us. N asked me to play trains with him this afternoon. I said in a friendly tone, "I can't right now, I have some work to do." [I probably should've added: "But I'll set the timer for fifteen minutes, and THEN we'll play."--would that have helped?] He threw his train across the room, and I calmly retrieved it and put it in my pocket with no words to him, not wanting to fan the flames. As I walked away he began throwing megablocks everywhere. I went back, knelt beside him, and whispered calmly, "We do not throw. Please stop." He didn't. As you are probably aware, consequences (losing the blocks/toys for a day-week-month-year-forever) just don't work at this point. So he doesn't stop, and in fact moves on to the puzzle pieces as I walk my daughter up the stairs to get her out of harm's way. He never throws them AT us, and he doesn't even throw them at the walls until a little later. He keeps looking over to me and waiting until I'm watching to throw them. So then I go back downstairs and carry him up the stairs himself since I do not want our walls ruined. Again, no angry words from me, just calm business, and quiet. Upstairs, he fights to get out of my grasp and find some things to throw. I try to hold him and say, "Are you mad because I wouldn't play trains with you?" [Should I not bring up the core issue during the tantrum? I thought I could get him to find some words then, but obviously, no.] Then the hitting begins. He punches at me and runs to escape my grasp over and over. Each punch is a little harder than the one before, but none hurt. Eventually hides under the table. I told him that it was perfectly okay for him to stay under there (we'd all be safer), but then he screams and runs out again at me. WHAT DO I DO WHEN HE IS IN THIS STAGE OF THE GAME? I tried holding, talking, ignoring, walking up to the top floor, and he was still out of control and getting more so. The way it came to a head, and this was EXACTLY what has happened in the past, he had to HURT HIMSELF, make himself cry, then ball up in my lap, sobbing. He bit his hand, pretending to try to bite my arm when I was restraining his arms from hitting me. I am astounded that he's latched on to this type of resolution, but what do I know? This sort of tantrum doesn't happen terribly often in our house, but I can tell now there's a pattern to how it plays out. I don't want my kid to have to bite and punch himself to release his sadness. Is there any way to stop this child in mid-riot? HELP! *ETA: I said the expected, "We do not hit." "We do not hurt." And especially after he bit himself and was hitting himself in the head.