Hi everyone. I have posted before, but not in some time. I read post here almost daily. It keeps me strong and not feeling so alone. I have 3 sons ages are 32,26,22. My oldest is a journeyman plumber but refuses to to work for the man. I am sure that he is doing some serious drugs and has been for years I have not communicated with him since he left a threatening note on my front porch in early June. He was angry with me because I was not responding to his brother the 26 yr old who is living at a shelter. I left their father in 2011 and at this point no one is speaking to my ex and I am only communicating with my youngest a little and he goes looking for his brother every every few weeks to make sure he is okay and calls his older brother sometimes because it never goes well. I am remarried. I finally have a normal life. A nice house a great man who has 5 great functioning kids 26, 23, 19, 11, 10. I was the one with a career in my last marriage and supported everyone. My ex didn't work for years. He always used the kids as an excuse he smoked pot daily for years and with the boys. Over the 24 years we were together he really changed and I just didn't see it I think he is bi polar. It was not until we started having so many problems with my middle son that I realized what was going on. I just had to leave and basically the whole family just crumbled. My middle son is schizophrenic and by-polar. His dad controlled them so much and every part of his life that when he left for college he failed in two weeks he was in trouble with the law and the school was kicking him out. He can not hold a job and sat at home with his dad for the last 3 years while his dad controlled him with pot... well in June his dad evicted him so he has been on the street basically the 5 of us live within 10 miles of each other but do not interact. I love my life now but I do feel guilty all the time. They have accused me of turning my back on them. But I just started saying no to request for money. They got angry. They say some really horrible things to me. It's getting cold outside and the snow is on the way.... I see from post that we all worry, but has anyone ever had the worst happen? I keep hoping that he will snap out of it.. I know that sounds stupid. I am sad that It came to this. I miss my boys. All three of my boys are all alone the couldn't even manage to ban together. If I try to communicate then they suck me in and start calling me for every emergency. Yes I was an enabler I paid car insurance for my oldest until he was 26 then I told him to get his own and that lasted for 6 month. Now he just does not have it. He has some clever ways of showing "proof" if he is stopped. I paid his cell phone for years too. So I know I helped create this but I just don't know how to fix it. Guilt I have been helping my youngest the last few months with his phone. I have to stop. But grrrrr I hate that I may lose that connection. He is at least trying and motivated. He has a place to live. A car insurance and a dog so he is the most functional although I am not sure if the job. He does also manage a men soccer team. Weird but it is his passion. Sorry for the long and all over the place post. We went to dinner last night with a friend who has 3 boys, 2 came to dinner and I guess I am feeling jealous and sad for myself.