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<blockquote data-quote="Tiredof33" data-source="post: 701090" data-attributes="member: 13558"><p>I agree it does help to post, venting safely releases the pent up emotions.</p><p></p><p>I had hoped my son would grow 'out of it'. The last relationship was 7 years and they were both alcoholics/drug users. Lots of drunken brawls and jail time for both.</p><p></p><p>She basically still lived at home with her mother and her entire family enabled her. The problem with that, they expected me to do the same with my son.</p><p></p><p>I know my son spent years living on the streets and woods homeless. There are places they can go for help, if and when they choose to.</p><p></p><p>I also agree with other members, when I stopped enabling and handing over money my son did realize he had to work. He did have a full time job before he met girlie and then he quit his job to go to school for computer security full time. He was on the Dean's List, problem is, he is a convicted felon. When I pointed this out to him he became angry. How did he think he was going to support himself while he went to school? His retired mother of course!</p><p></p><p>He tried another con to extort money from me to finish school. I fell for it and when I did figure it out and confronted him, he was angry. One of them, or both, hacked into my computer to try and steal my banking information.</p><p></p><p>I also have a degree in computers and I retired from a tech job, so I do not store anything valuable on my computers.</p><p></p><p>It always hurts when the people we love so much tries to play us. I don't blame girlie for my son's problems, they both had problems, together they were poison. I had to finally call the police to stop her from harassing me.</p><p></p><p>If you truly have a difficult adult child (mental, drug, alcohol addictions) it is a life long process, until THEY decide to change and get help.</p><p></p><p>I think a major problems for us is getting over the guilt of not being able to 'fix' our children, but we can't, so let it go and let them take over their own lives.</p><p></p><p>Enjoy your new relationship, you deserve it.</p><p></p><p>(((hugs and blessings)))</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Tiredof33, post: 701090, member: 13558"] I agree it does help to post, venting safely releases the pent up emotions. I had hoped my son would grow 'out of it'. The last relationship was 7 years and they were both alcoholics/drug users. Lots of drunken brawls and jail time for both. She basically still lived at home with her mother and her entire family enabled her. The problem with that, they expected me to do the same with my son. I know my son spent years living on the streets and woods homeless. There are places they can go for help, if and when they choose to. I also agree with other members, when I stopped enabling and handing over money my son did realize he had to work. He did have a full time job before he met girlie and then he quit his job to go to school for computer security full time. He was on the Dean's List, problem is, he is a convicted felon. When I pointed this out to him he became angry. How did he think he was going to support himself while he went to school? His retired mother of course! He tried another con to extort money from me to finish school. I fell for it and when I did figure it out and confronted him, he was angry. One of them, or both, hacked into my computer to try and steal my banking information. I also have a degree in computers and I retired from a tech job, so I do not store anything valuable on my computers. It always hurts when the people we love so much tries to play us. I don't blame girlie for my son's problems, they both had problems, together they were poison. I had to finally call the police to stop her from harassing me. If you truly have a difficult adult child (mental, drug, alcohol addictions) it is a life long process, until THEY decide to change and get help. I think a major problems for us is getting over the guilt of not being able to 'fix' our children, but we can't, so let it go and let them take over their own lives. Enjoy your new relationship, you deserve it. (((hugs and blessings))) [/QUOTE]
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