I know it is 165 days away. I know there is a slim chance it won't happen. But I cannot deal with the fact that Kanga will be coming home. When she comes home, she will be just over 3 years away from 18 -- a long, long time. My heart is breaking for my other children. I am grateful that we were able to get them a year and a half of a normal childhood. I'm sickened and scared that it couldn't be more. husband still wants to bury his head in the sand and pretend she is better. I will need to protect us all alone. I can't count on him to protect the others. I'm so scared that one of us will be seriously injured or worse before anyone understands how dangerous she is. It is 3am and I cannot sleep. It is like this after most phone calls with her. Residential Treatment Center (RTC) staff demanded we call and visit more often. It tears me up to do so but I'm afraid they'll send her home earlier if we don't. We are just 11 days away from the first sibling visit. The kids don't know. I don't know how to tell them. We aren't going to tell them until we are almost at her Residential Treatment Center (RTC). If husband beat the younger kids and I, the law would remove him from our home and forbid me to allow the kids to see him. But because she is a minor, I am required to have the kids see her and to "reunify". How crazy is that???