I've been trying to forumlate this question in my head for some time now and can't quite get the thought out, but I really need to figure something out NOW, so here it goes. husband is a SAHD. When Eris is home with him alone, he says they are fine. Honestly I think she ends up playing in her room most of the time because she doesn't want to deal with him and he of her. But I do know they go out and do things, and she doesn't throw a fit when they're out (or doesn't throw a fit much). But when I come home from work, she's a different girl and starts this cr-p where she hides from him, won't talk to him, won't do what he says. All because I'm home and I'm good cop because I'm too depressed to fight and too worn out to think from working all day. I end up being middle man and breaking up their fights. I keep telling husband to calm down and stop getting upset with her. He won't do it. He's been beyond stressed, had an incident this past weekend where his stress when even more up and everything sets him off. And yes, I think he needs some medications or therapy but he'll never ever do this. Never. Many of you have suggested she's showing signs of Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) or Aspergers and I think she'll need to get evaluated for that, but we're not doing it right now (need to find the doctor, save money, etc). So if she has these traits, and is having a hard time communicating how do I get them both to stop this horrible habit? It's pretty classic these days for her to not do what she's told, then he gets a little upset but doesn't yell, just asks her again, she doesn't do it, so then he starts to get upset, she picks up on this and does her covering her head/hiding/plugging the ears thing, which just upsets him more. I need this to stop. I keep asking him to back off whens she gets in this state and it's like he can't hear me and just keeps drilling in on her. The word "bully" came up in the other post and I think that nails it on the head with him. But if I suggested that to him I "wouldn't be supporting him", which I'm just trying to help him be a better parent. I think he was very similar to her when he was a kid, and I would think he could understand her better but he doesn't. I keep giving him suggestions that he doesn't listen to. But then the issue is when I'm there, so what am I doing that makes this happen? When I'm home she won't leave me alone. If she's asleep then husband won't leave alone (because he wants to talk to an adult). THis makes for a very frazzled me. We're planning on going to the Renaissance Faire this weekend. husband and I have worked it for years, camp over the weekend, it's 6 weekends long. I didn't go at all last year because husband didn't want to be around Eris. He told her this morning that he didn't want her going. This does nothing but punish ME because I'd have to stay home. I told her I knew she could be good and that I hoped she'd behave so we can go. I can deal with her behavior on my own, but when both of them are together, when I'm there, it's total chaos and stress and it's not fair that I should suffer because husband can't be reasonable when I'm around. I'm going to tell him that I'll put her to bed when we're camping and he can go off and have fun without me, but I still dont' want a scene while we're there. I don't want to deal with his attitude.