Right now I wake up every morning completely stressed, anxious, and worried as to what the day is going to hold with difficult child. I hate it. I hate the unpredictability of it all. I want to be able to take a deep breath and let it pass. But, it just seems impossible right now. I am hoping after we vivst with the psychiatrist on Tuesday that I will feel some relief. I am trying to find a therapist for her, but the wait list is so long, and some places do not take our insurance. Hopefully the psychiatrist will be able to get us in to see someone. I guess I just need to vent. I hate this. I hate this disease. I hate that I can't take it away for my daughter. I hate that it is disrupting our family. I hate that family members don't understand. I hate that people tell me that God doesn't give you more than you can handle. Right now I sure don't feel like I am handling it very well. I feel like I am barely making it. Those of you that have been dealing with this much longer than I have I commend you. It is such a difficult battle. Sorry for the "downer" moment. Just needed to put it all out there, and not many people in real life understand.