The aunt who is in town, M, has ALWAYS made a huge deal about loving me like I was her daughter, how important my family is to her (husband, kids, and me), etc... I am supposed to accept that she loves me as much as she loves her own son. When I was little it was like that. Now... When we lived an hour from her she did not once meet us somewhere in between except when my mother offered to pay for a Chuck E Cheese party for her granddau. She regularly drove to visit someone who lived less than a mile from us - and not one time did she call or stop by. If she comes to visit because there is something about gfgbro, she spends time with him on at least half of the days of the visit. If she comes to visit because it is about me, I see her 2 times in 2 weeks when I can be squeezed in to a family dinner or between visiting some friend she met the last time she came to visit. When I was in the hospital with cellulitis, M is the one who came to help me. She and my mom spent their version of 2 days "cleaning" my house. It was greatly appreciated, but it was less than 3 hours one day and 4 the other. Then they promised to come back, M stayed two weeks after that, and we didn't see her or my mom the entire time except for a "family dinner" that it was CLEAR that inviting us was an afterthought, Same is happening this trip. M is calling gfgbro daily, and not calling us at all. While it twinges for me, and pisses my husband off, Jessie has now put it all together. She is very insightful for being just 15. SHE said all of the above to me. I didn't bring it up except to say that when we do something for someone else it has to be because it will make us happy. NOT because it will get that someone to do something. How the heck do I teach her to detach from this, to let it be, accept time with M for what it is, and to ignore all of her promises - they are nice thoughts but will NEVER EVER be carried out. They were going to call her to go out for a seafood lunch last week. Not a single call to any of our phones. She is so mad and hurt and I hate hate hate to see it. This is the part that makes me angry and hurt. That it upsets my daughter, who really does NOT need any more koi in her life.